When I'm too tired to put up a fight

On the way home from Target tonight I was thinking about how tired I was -- physically tired, but also emotionally and mentally tired.  Being a mom to a college student is not for the faint of heart.  : /

Then I thought about a distant cousin (my aunt's stepdaughter, so not a blood relation to me) who is expecting twins . . . her first pregnancy . . . at age 46.  I can't begin to imagine how tired this woman will be after her babies are born at the end of this year.  But I really can't imagine how tired J will be when her "babies" are 21 and she's 67.

At almost 54, my 21 year old exhausts me to the point where I want to throw up my hands and say, "Fine, don't listen to me; don't learn from the wisdom I've gained because of the mistakes that I've made.  Don't listen to the Word of God and the instruction that it gives for godly living and the protection it provides from sin and spiritual death.  Do what you want and suffer the consequences."

But I can't say that because I love my daughter.  I care about what happens to her today and what will happen to her tomorrow and ultimately for eternity.  And despite how tired I am and how weary I am of standing up for what I know is unpopular, but true, I can't give up.

As I continued to drive, I heard something on the radio that convinced me that no matter what, I have to keep fighting for my daughter.  The speaker said that when we're tempted to give up, when we feel like we don't have any fight left, we need to remember that if we are a Christian, we are never alone, never by ourselves on the frontline with no back-up.  If we are standing against sin and fighting for righteousness, the Holy Spirit that dwells within us is also fighting along with us, supporting us when our human body and spirit starts to flag.

I needed to hear that word of encouragement.  On my own, I won't be able to be diligent and vigilant every moment in my interactions with M when she defends sinful behavior as little more than the status quo -- but I'm not on my own.  Just as the Holy Spirit intercedes for me when I don't know how to pray, the Spirit sustains, strengthens, and increases my faith and my resolve to honor the Lord in all I do.  God has entrusted M to me and G and He wants us to help her grow into a woman who loves Him, obeys Him, and honors Him in every area of her life.

As M's mom, I have an awesome responsibility, but I also worship an awesome God who is faithful to supply my every need.  I may be tired, but my God neither slumbers nor sleeps.  I can place my trust in Him to equip and enable me to complete the task he has called me to do.