The first leg of the journey

Well, we have completed the first leg of our journey to Salem, Virginia.  We arrived in West Lafayette this afternoon and helped E and N with a few last minute packing details.

Afterwards we enjoyed a great dinner at Applebee's and then ended the evening with homemade peach crisp and vanilla ice cream at our hotel.

Tomorrow we leave at 7:00 a.m. on the marathon drive to Salem.  It will probably take 10 hours to get there.

I hope Penny doesn't "sing" the whole way.

Thankful Thursday

I needed to find something this evening.  Normally I would have known exactly where to look, but G "helpfully relocated" this item (and several others) for me. 

Believe me, I misplace enough things all on my own.  I don't need anyone else's "help."

Thankfully, I was able to find what I needed.  It took me awhile, but I found it -- that's all that really matters.  Finding this item means I don't have to waste time and energy being angry with G or say something that would make him angry and defensive (even though he would surely see that he caused the problem in the first place when he took it upon himself to mess with my disorganized, yet effective, system of organization).

Crisis averted and, for that, I am truly thankful!    

Melting

If I were an ice cube, I would have melted and the water would have evaporated about 30 seconds after I got out of bed this morning.

Today was the hottest day this year and the first 100 degree day occurring in the month of June since 1988.

I definitely remember the summer of 1988.  There were seven 100 degree days that summer and lots of other days with temps in the high 90's.  It was beastly hot that summer, so hot and dry in fact that the 4th of July fireworks were postponed until Labor Day weekend.  In a strange twist, it was so cold for Labor Day that we had to dress E and K in winter coats when we took them to Armstrong Park to watch the fireworks.  Luckily, K still fit into the snow suit that she had worn as a newborn.

One of the worst parts of the heat in 1988 was being the breastfeeding mom of a 7-9 month old.  I felt like K and I were forged into one sticky, sweaty mass as she was nursing four to five times per day and we were just beginning to introduce cereal and other solid foods.  K must not have minded the fact that her liquid nutrition tasted a little saltier than usual, because she didn't let the heat slow her down.  Unfortunately to me it seemed like I constantly had my shirt pulled up and my breast out.  I'm sure I was less of a serene Madonna mother and more of a crabby, selfish whiner . . . some things never change.  : / 

90 Miles

Tonight we drove 35 miles to eat dinner with K and KC at 90 Miles.  KC hadn't been there before, but G, K, and I had, and we were more than happy to eat there again.

90 Miles is a Cuban restaurant with a lot of outdoor seating.  In fact there's hardly any indoor seating.  This evening the place was packed.  Fortunately K and KC got to the restaurant early and got a table for us.  We had a great meal -- lechon for K and me, a Cubano for KC, and a veggie plate for G.  We shared bread pudding and flan for dessert.

It was nice to eat at 90 Miles, but it was even nicer to be able to spend the evening with our daughter and her boyfriend.  : ) 

In denial

We leave for Salem, Virginia in 4 days.

I have a lot to get done before we go, but I haven't done any of it.  It's as if not accomplishing all my tasks will somehow keep the day of reckoning from arriving.

How foolish of me.

Music Monday

Music Monday

Exhausted

Sooo tired.

Feeling stabby

Rummage sales bring out the worst in me.  I try to be pleasant when people driving Chrysler 300's ask me if I'll take less for an item.

Right.  You're driving the late model 300 and I'm driving an 11-year old Suburban with 174,000 miles on the odometer.  I obviously don't need the money, so I

Thankful Thursday

I'm spending this weekend with my parents.  They're participating in a neighborhood rummage sale and I'm going to help out with that.  The weather is supposed to be hot (imagine that!) and having people pawing through sale items and trying to haggle with you over the price can be stressful, so I hope the weekend goes well.

Fortunately G is feeling better today and coughing less.  If he hadn't gone to the doctor yesterday, I would definitely not have felt good about leaving him alone for the next four days.

I'm thankful for the time I have to spend with my parents and I'm thankful that G is on the mend from his episode of "running pneumonia."  Thank you Lord for the blessings and grace that you pour out on me and my family.

Told you so

G has been coughing and sneezing for almost a week.  Instead of getting better, he seemed to be getting worse.  E told him to wait ten days and if he wasn't better, then he should see his doctor.  Normally I would say that was reasonable advice, but E wasn't the one who had to listen to him cough and sneeze . . . pretty much constantly.  E also wasn't the one who was waiting until 4:30 a.m. to go to bed in order to avoid sharing a bed with a person who coughs and sneezes almost constantly.

So last night, when I finally went to bed as the skies were growing lighter and the birds were singing, and G was awake because he was coughing up a lung, I told him that he needed to call the doctor TODAY and see if he could get an appointment ASAP.  I also told him that if the doctor couldn't see him, then he needed to go to the Convenient Care.  Admittedly, I was thinking of my own health (and sleeplessness), but I was also concerned for G -- what if he had pneumonia or whopping cough?  Neither one of those illnesses would go away on their own without treatment.

Surprisingly, G agreed to call the doctor and fortunately he was able to get an appointment.  And surprise, surprise , G has walking pneumonia.

Is this where I'm supposed to bite my tongue to avoid saying "I told you so"? 

The doctor wrote a prescription for an antibiotic and cough syrup with codeine.  He said that G should feel better by the weekend, and knowing that G is a runner, he told him no running until he finishes the full Z-Pak.  Of course G had gone for his regular Wednesday morning 6-mile run before he saw the doctor.  : //     

Leave it to G to put a humorous spin on the situation -- he e-mailed our kids and told them he has "running pnuemonia."   

Music Monday . . . on Tuesday

As I was writing my post yesterday, I realized it was Monday -- Music Monday -- but I decided to wait until today to publish my weekly music video segment.  The post I wrote yesterday spoke to what I had experienced and was feeling at that moment, and it was more important for me to express those emotions.

The song and video I've selected reflects my experience Monday afternoon.  Great is Thy Faithfulness is one of my favorite hymns.  My kids know that it is one of the songs I want at my memorial service.  I think they probably knew that even before I mentioned it to them.  I suggested it for my aunt's service three years ago and if I have any say in the matter, I will suggest it for my parents' services (pray God, a long time from now).

The refrain of the song is what speaks to my heart the most.  If I am going to cry at any point when I sing it (almost a given) it will be during the refrain, especially this:

All I have needed

Thy hand hath provided   

Great is Thy faithfulness

Lord unto me.

God is so faithful to give me what I need.  Not what I think I need or what I want.  In His great wisdom and unfailing love, He gives me what He knows -- with his perfect omniscience -- I need for this moment and the next moment, until the day comes when He will fulfill my ultimate need and lead me into His eternal presence.  Praise God for His great faithfulness!

        

A timely message

I happened to be in the car this afternoon and heard a little bit of Turning Point with Dr. David Jeremiah.  As "luck" would have it, the message was exactly what I needed to hear at that moment.

I don't know why I am surprised when God sends a timely message my way.  And for the doubters who might be reading this (who am I kidding -- nobody reads this) I have no doubt that the broadcast I heard today was intended for my ears on this specific day.

Turning Point is celebrating their 30th anniversary of broadcast ministry.  I certainly wasn't listening when Dr. Jeremiah first began proclaiming God's Word over the airwaves in 1982.  I probably heard the program for the first time in the early 90's and I've listened off and on since then.  Most days I don't hear the program, but today I did, and the message of God's unchanging, steadfast love for me, in spite of the mess that I've made of my life, brought me to tears.

Dr. Jeremiah encouraged me as he talked about mighty men of God throughout the Bible and more recent history who've struggled with depression and who felt far from the Father's love.  These spiritual giants faced some of the same demons I have, but God was faithful and He sustained them in their despair.  I needed that reminder that nothing that threatens to overwhelm me is beyond the power of God.  I don't need to fear Satan and his lies because I have the Holy Spirit within me.  The truth of God that the Spirit speaks to my heart and soul every moment is stronger than any lie the evil one might think he could use to destroy me.

I am grateful for the ministry of Turning Point, the Word-centered teaching of Dr. Jeremiah, and especially my heavenly Father who knows me and speaks directly to the concerns and sorrows of my life.

Father's Day

Father's Day

A weird day

Basically I didn't go to sleep last night.  Around 5:00 this morning I laid down for a brief nap, but I couldn't fall asleep.  I got up at 6:30 to buy doughnuts for K to take to a bridal shower she was going to in Aurora.  The bakery has really good doughnuts and Danish and they sell out quickly.  If you want chocolate long johns, you need to get there early.  After that I made a Target run to get a few things I had forgotten to buy the last time I was there . . . just a few days ago.

After K and her friends stopped by to pick up the doughnuts, I went back to bed and was able to sleep for a little bit this time.  At some point G came home from his Saturday routine (washing his running clothes and checking up on GAI's house) but I didn't hear him.  He has a horrible cold and a hacking cough, so it's a blessing miracle that he didn't wake me up.

I finally got up around dinner time, but I wasn't hungry and I was still exhausted.  G said he would have a veggie burger.  He never eats much for dinner on Saturday because he anticipates filling up on popcorn and beer later on while he watches his Netflix movie for the week.  I couldn't keep my eyes open so I laid back down for my second long nap of the day.

So yeah, all I did today was sleep.  I figured my body was trying to tell me something.  We'll see if all this rest pays off with an increase in energy tomorrow.

It costs how much???

The original Say Yes to the Dress is back.  For a while it was just Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta and Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids, and I enjoyed those programs.  But it's nice to return to the show that started it all.

So on tonight's episode, one of the women who works at Kleinfeld was shopping for her bridal gown.  She had a budget of $9000.  To me, that is a staggering amount to spend on a wedding dress.  I'm not sure if that amount was before her employee discount or after. but does it really matter?  It's still nine thousand freaking dollars!  E's entire wedding didn't cost all that much more than what this woman was willing to spend on her dress alone. 

To make a long blog post short, the woman found her dream dress for . . . wait for it . . . $26,700!!!  That's almost three times over her budget.  Three times more than what she said she was willing to spend.

I can't even imagine spending $26,700 for a garment that will be worn once.  There are so many beautiful dresses at reasonable prices -- in my mind, there's no justification for buying a dress for the amount that most people would spend on a car.  Swarovski crystals, Italian silk, pearls, and handmade lace don't come cheap, but chiffon and sequins are elegant too.  After all, isn't it the bride who makes the dress?  A dress with a five-figure price tag should never outshine the radiance of a bride's smile and the joy in her heart when she holds hands with her groom at the altar and pledges her life and love to him.

Thankful Thursday

Tuesday night G went to his first sign language class.  He's been wanting to learn some basic signs so he could add another level of communication to his work with the developmentally and intellectually disabled students in his Sunday School class.

When G came home from class, way past his normal bedtime of 8:00-8:30, he told me that he enjoyed the class.  There are 18 students -- 17 women and young girls and then there's G, a man on the "wrong" side of middle-age.  Also, the instructor is a woman.  It would be worse if all the students were high school and college aged women, at least some of the women appear to be older than he is, but it would be really nice if there was one other guy in the class.

G is serious about this class.  He's been working on learning the alphabet and practicing finger spelling.  Last night he told me that his hands hurt.  I thought he was talking about arthritis (probably because my hands ache from arthritis most days) but his hands were stiff and sore from signing.  I think that's awesome!

I'm thankful that G followed through on his desire to take a sign language class and I'm thankful that he's enjoying learning ASL.  I hope he will be able to take what he learns and use it to communicate the love of Christ to the adult STARS.    

Lies I've told my children

The music truck

Lethargy

I have no energy to do anything.  I do manage to take a shower, most days.  But some days, that's about all I do.  I guess I also wash the dishes or, if G washes them, then I put them away.  Sometimes I fix dinner, but G fixes dinner about half of the time, so even that's not a daily accomplishment.

I wish I could say that the main cause of my lethargy is due to the heat, but that's not true.  Today it was wonderfully cool; we didn't even have to turn on the window fans.  So, with moderate weather, did I do even one of the many tasks that need my attention?  No. 

I know what my root problem is -- depression.  I just don't know how, outside of medication, to overcome the darkness that continues to close in on me.     

Music Monday

The Righteous Brothers' music was described as "blue-eyed" soul.  It certainly grips my soul and does a number on my emotions.  Both You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling and Unchained Melody evoke an ache for what once was and the haunting memory of what's been lost.

When I listen to You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling, I can't help but be reminded that June 9 (just a few days ago) would have been M and T's 5th anniversary.  But instead of celebrating 5 years together, M has been dating J for over 2 years and T just recently started dating someone (also with the initial J). 

At this point I feel like I need to give up the hope that M and T will ever get back together again.  I think they both lost that lovin' feeling a long time ago . . . I'm just the last one to realize it.

    

What a difference 9200 miles make

Here in the western suburbs of Chicago it was 92 degrees today -- hot, hot, hot!  The sun was bright and the only thing that kept it from being unbearably icky and sticky was a steady breeze.

In Sydney (already Monday afternoon) the temperature might reach a high of 61 degrees.  Last week the northern coast was hit with rain, strong winds and waves.  Today that weather is back again with a vengeance.  Ferries are shut down and roadways are flooded.  Almost an inch and a half of rain is forecast and winds are steady at 45mph.

Bad weather is no fun, but especially not today since it is a "free" day for M, a three-day weekend in celebration of the Queen's birthday.  Queen Elizabeth's birthday is actually in April, but Britain and the Commonwealth countries celebrate her birthday in June when the weather is better.  Ha!

Hopefully the rain will subside and the weather will be nicer tomorrow when M heads back for another day of internship at Wairoa.   

It wasn't meant to be

Wow, that title could apply to so many situations, but today it applies to a definite lack of luck.

G ran a 5k race that our church stages to raise money to send individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities and their family members to summer camp.  There are a number of major sponsors for the race and lots of businesses and organizations that donate prizes for the bib raffle at the conclusion of the race.  The Grand Prize is a $500 travel voucher and a stay at the Oyster Bay Beach Resort in St. Maarten.

I would love to go to St. Maarten.  For our honeymoon, G and I went to Martinique and we loved it.  We've also been to Jamaica and Turks and Caicos and we loved them too.  I'm pretty sure St. Maarten would be just as incredible as the islands we've already visited in the Caribbean.

But it wasn't meant to be.  G didn't win the Grand Prize.  He didn't win any of the smaller prizes.  He didn't win anything.  However, when we spun the Chick-fil-A prize wheel, we came away with a coupon for a free lemonade and a coupon for mini cinnamon rolls.

I guess we had a little bit of luck after all. 

If you don't know me by now . . .

. . . you will never never never know me.

This was a Music Monday song a few weeks back, but it also describes the thought that went through my mind this afternoon when my husband was telling me about the plants he bought for his vegetable garden. 

G told me yesterday he was going to buy tomatoes, peppers, and cucumbers.  That sounded good to me.  So today he told me that, just for me, he bought a cherry tomato plant.

I don't like cherry tomatoes.  I like grape tomatoes.

Grape tomatoes resemble miniature Roma tomatoes.  They're slightly oval and they tend to have more flesh and less of the seedy yellow slime.  Cherry tomatoes are loaded with seedy yellow slime.  : /  Can you tell that I'm not a big fan of the seedy yellow slime?

I can't remember the last time I bought cherry tomatoes.  If I make a pasta salad or a caprese salad with ciliegine, tomatoes, and basil, I always use grape tomatoes.  I don't know why G thought that cherry tomatoes were a good choice.

Having gotten that little rant out of the way, I'm sure the cherry tomatoes will be fine -- they'll probably grow like crazy and we'll have a ton.  I sure hope that G likes them.      

Thankful Thursday

Facebook can be a great way to keep in touch with long-lost friends and faraway family members, but it also highlights a serious American problem, the need to acquire more and more.  Cars, homes, clothes, electronic toys and gadgets -- enough is never enough.  When it comes to facebook, it seems that the more friends, the better.  One of my facebook friends has over 1,000 friends!  Wow.  I don't think I even know 1,000 people!  A little bit of research with my best friend (ha!) Google reveals that the average facebook user has just under 250 friends, but in reality, they only know about one-fifth of the people on their friend list.     

I don't have a lot of friends.  I have a decent number of acquaintances, but not a lot of people that I would describe as true friends -- call in the middle of the night, tell them anything and trust that they will still love you friends.

To be honest, I think I have three friends who fit that description.

Recently I spent time with someone I call my friend, but really, this person (henceforth to be referred to as TP) is more of a long-term acquaintance.  I've known TP for over 15 years and have shared intimate details of my life with her.  But I've also held back from revealing other details because I feel I would be judged unfavorably for decisions I've made and paths that I've taken and regretted and repented of taking.  : /

What really convinced me that TP isn't a true friend was her total disregard for what was happening in my life.  In our time together I've realized that she doesn't ask me how life is going for my kids, my husband and parents, or me.  Instead we talk about her -- her child, her parents, her extended family, her friends.  It's all about her.

I know there are times when a person needs to be supported, when life is tough and the best thing a friend can do is listen and offer to pray and help if possible.  But right now life is going well for TP.  She's not in crisis mode.  There is no good reason for her to monopolize our time together.   It really would be nice if we could have a conversation that includes some give and take.

I genuinely like and care for TP and if she wasn't in my life, I would miss her.  But my time with her has made me realize that I am so thankful for my true friends -- the ones who I can be real with, the friends who know me and love me anyway, the friends who understand that friendship is a dialogue and not a monologue.  I'm thankful for my friends who are secure enough in who they are -- everything that makes them special -- and how much I value them to not feel the need to constantly demand to be the center of every moment we spend together.  And above all, I am thankful to God for blessing my life with a few wonderful, loving, and caring friends.        

How stupid do they think we are?

The high cost of groceries.

Where's the logic in that?

Tonight I was getting ready to go to Target, and my husband asked me if I wanted to switch cars.  The curse of a single-width driveway is having to constantly swap the cars around depending on who's driving and where they want to go.  But I was just going to Target -- no great distance -- so I was fine driving the car at the end of the driveway, the Suburban.

When I told G that I would drive the "big" car, he said, "Well the Civic gets better gas mileage."

Really?  Like I don't know that fact.  Yet just yesterday when we were on our way home from Decatur and he had a chance to fill up the tank of the Suburban with gas that cost $3.51 per gallon, he took a pass.  When I questioned him about it, he said that we had more than enough gas to get home.  And he was right.

Now I will admit that I am not the most logical person.  I am more emotional and intuitive, but even I could see the logic in topping off our 32 gallon tank with $3.51 per gallon gas rather than waiting until we got home (175 miles later) and filling up an almost empty tank with gas that costs $3.82 per gallon.  Assuming that we'll need to put at least 20 gallons of gas in the tank, that will add up to a decent amount of money that we could have saved by purchasing less expensive gas in Decatur.

It seemed like a no-brainer to me, but he must know something I don't, right?

Yeah, right.  : /

Music monday

Today is M's 21st birthday.  So in honor of her birthday, I'm choosing a song by one of her favorite artists, Jack Johnson.  Jack likes to surf -- M just learned to surf in Australia.  It makes perfect sense to me.  : )

This is the first birthday that I haven't been with M since her birth day when we welcomed her into this world and our family.  I will miss watching her open up her presents, blow out the candles on her cake, and, most of all, I will miss being able to give her a big hug and tell her how much I love her.

Happy Birthday M.  I love you and miss you -- it's always better when we're together.  : )  

Party time

It's party time -- party season.

Today we drove to Decatur for my cousin's son's high school graduation party.  J graduated last Sunday and his party was this Sunday.  Next week he will be sworn in to service in the Marines and immediately after he will report for basic training in San Diego.

We had a lot to celebrate -- endings and beginnings.  School ended but learning will continue as J ultimately will go to Paris Island for logistics training with the Marines.  Life in Decatur is drawing to a close but a new life in California, South Carolina, and who knows where else in the world is just beginning.  It's exciting and scary.  J's life is filled with hope and possibilities and a degree of uncertainty.  but no matter where he goes or what adventures he encounters, he will always have a home in the hearts of his parents, brother, extended family and friends.

Good luck J!  We love you and we'll be praying for you!    

I knew this day was coming

Wasting time on facebook today, I looked at M's ex-boyfriend's page and it said he was "in a relationship."

I wish the relationship he was in was with M, but that's not the case.

A week ago T's mom told me that he seemed to be getting close to someone, but she wasn't sure if they were just friends or if there was something more.

Looks like it turned into something more, especially since they just spent an extra-long Memorial Day weekend together in San Francisco.

Even though I knew this day was coming, I wasn't ready for it and it hurts.

Skype

What a wonderful invention!

M and I had a Skype date this evening -- late night for me, mid-afternoon for her.  We didn't do voice, just typed back and forth, sort of like texting but without the cell phones.

It was great to "talk" to her.  E-mail is nice, but it's even better to get an immediate answer to my many, many questions.  : )