Facebook can be a great way to keep in touch with long-lost friends and faraway family members, but it also highlights a serious American problem, the need to acquire more and more. Cars, homes, clothes, electronic toys and gadgets -- enough is never enough. When it comes to facebook, it seems that the more friends, the better. One of my facebook friends has over 1,000 friends! Wow. I don't think I even know 1,000 people! A little bit of research with my best friend (ha!) Google reveals that the average facebook user has just under 250 friends, but in reality, they only know about one-fifth of the people on their friend list.
I don't have a lot of friends. I have a decent number of acquaintances, but not a lot of people that I would describe as true friends -- call in the middle of the night, tell them anything and trust that they will still love you friends.
To be honest, I think I have three friends who fit that description.
Recently I spent time with someone I call my friend, but really, this person (henceforth to be referred to as TP) is more of a long-term acquaintance. I've known TP for over 15 years and have shared intimate details of my life with her. But I've also held back from revealing other details because I feel I would be judged unfavorably for decisions I've made and paths that I've taken and regretted and repented of taking. : /
What really convinced me that TP isn't a true friend was her total disregard for what was happening in my life. In our time together I've realized that she doesn't ask me how life is going for my kids, my husband and parents, or me. Instead we talk about her -- her child, her parents, her extended family, her friends. It's all about her.
I know there are times when a person needs to be supported, when life is tough and the best thing a friend can do is listen and offer to pray and help if possible. But right now life is going well for TP. She's not in crisis mode. There is no good reason for her to monopolize our time together. It really would be nice if we could have a conversation that includes some give and take.
I genuinely like and care for TP and if she wasn't in my life, I would miss her. But my time with her has made me realize that I am so thankful for my true friends -- the ones who I can be real with, the friends who know me and love me anyway, the friends who understand that friendship is a dialogue and not a monologue. I'm thankful for my friends who are secure enough in who they are -- everything that makes them special -- and how much I value them to not feel the need to constantly demand to be the center of every moment we spend together. And above all, I am thankful to God for blessing my life with a few wonderful, loving, and caring friends.
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