Out with the old, in with the new

In just a few moments, 2011 will come to a close in the Central Time Zone.

I said good-bye to a few things this year:

* my gallbladder -- don't miss it, should have gotten rid of it lots sooner
* the beautiful trees in my backyard -- miss them a lot, but don't miss worrying       about them when the wind blows
* my purple mittens -- will always miss them  : ( 
* gray hair -- at least my highlights camouflage most of it
* misplaced hope -- too complicated to sum up in a pithy comment
* a friendship I treasured -- life goes on and people grow apart . . . get over it

I know that 2012 will bring new losses, but I also know that the new year will bring additions.  I hope I can willingly relinquish all that I stubbornly hold onto in order to free up my hands and my heart for the new blessings and challenges that God wants to give me.

One thing that was new in my life in 2011 that I have genuinely enjoyed and look forward to enjoying in 2012 is (ab)normal.  This is my 190th blog post!  It has been fun, and sometimes not so fun, to share my thoughts and ideas.  I am proud that I was able to fulfill my commitment to blog at least three times per week and to write a Thankful Thursday post weekly.  It wasn't always easy, but it was worthwhile.  I hope to do the same next year.

Good-bye 2011.  Hello 2012.  I hope it will truly be a happy new year from start to finish.  

Alone again, naturally

Just when I think I've gotten used to being alone, I realize that I really haven't.

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve and it will just be G and I, hanging around the house, doing nothing.

E and N are in Michigan with N's family.  N's sister and her husband (A and B) just had a baby boy early this morning.  I'm glad that I is here safely and surrounded by grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins that love him and have been eagerly awaiting his arrival. 

K is in New York City.  She flew out early this morning and spent the day exploring the city until she could meet up with the friend/co-worker who she's staying with for the weekend.  I don't think K is going to hang out in Times Square for NYE, but she's a spur of the moment kind of girl, so who knows. 

M is staying overnight with friends tonight and then tomorrow everyone is going to Wisconsin for the weekend.  One of her friends' family has a cabin near Twin Lakes and the whole family and extended crew are heading north to celebrate the new year.

G went to bed at 8:15 this evening.  Usually he manages to stay up until 9:00, but he did get up pretty early to take K to the airport, so I'm sure he's tired.  It's not like he would want to hang out with me and watch the "We had a 6-6 record so we deserve to play in the post-season Bowl" on television.  Actually I'm watching the Insight Bowl and Iowa is losing to Oklahoma.  Even though I don't like Iowa, I was taught that when it comes to bowl games and March Madness, you root for the Big Ten, so I'm hoping Iowa can pull out the win but it's not looking good. 

So, I'm alone and I guess I really do need to get used to it because the situation's not going to change.  : /

Thankful Thursday

This is the last Thankful Thursday post for the year.  Wow!

Having just spent Christmas with my mom and dad, I have to say that I am extremely thankful for my parents and the times that I've been able to be with them this past year.

It seems as if I was able to get to Decatur more often and stay for longer periods of time this year than any time in the past several years.  I suppose some of that is due to not having any children living at home who needed me to drive them places or do their laundry.  Whatever the reason or reasons, I am grateful for the opportunities I've had to be with my mom and dad.

Some people are fortunate enough to live in the same town as their parents, maybe even in the same neighborhood!  That was never the case with me.  Since G and I were married, I have always lived three hours away from Mom and Dad.  It could have been a lot worse, especially if G had been transferred to Dallas in the early 80's.  But it also could have been a lot nicer to live closer, especially when the kids were little.

I know I've said this before, but I am keenly aware of the passage of time and the reality that my parents won't always be waiting for me to pull in their driveway.  The day will come when they won't be able to work all day in the garden and then work another five hours to can the green beans that they picked and snapped.  Already they are slowing down (heck, I'm slowing down too!) but they still are a vital part of my life and my family's life. 

It is hard to imagine the day when I won't be able to see them or call them, but that day will come.  For now, I am grateful for every day I have with them, every phone call, every card, every memory.  And I am grateful to God for giving me such wonderful parents!

I love you, Mom and Dad.  : )          

Just when I thought there was light at the end of the tunnel . . .

I realized it was really the giant headlight of a 125-car freight train.  : /

We are so close to the end of the year.  So close to making it to 2012 without another doctor visit, or worse.

So close . . . until today.

M had been complaining about her eye.  She's always complaining about something, so we ignored her.  This morning we couldn't ignore her any longer.

G took her to the convenient care.  And then he took her to the eye clinic.  She has a scratched cornea . . . again.  The doctor said he couldn't give her anything for her pain because it would cause her eye to become infected.  Makes absolutely no sense to me.  She does have a teeny tiny, super-expensive bottle of eye drops (combination of steroids and antibiotics) that she has to use twice a day for two days and then once a day for three days.  I hope she doesn't run out before the five days are up.

I know I should be glad that this happened while she was home instead of at school (like the first time).  And I should also be glad that she was able to be seen by the highly regarded eye clinic.  I should be really glad that we have insurance and that this episode is covered under major medical rather than optical, especially since the eye clinic doesn't take our optical insurance.

I should be glad -- like dancing around and toasting with champagne GLAD -- but I'm not.  Instead I'm pissed that this is just one more crappy thing in a year full of crappy things.  A year full of expensive, crappy things.

But what I need to remember is that there is always light at the end of the tunnel, and that light is called Jesus.  He came to bring light and life, even to whiners like me.

Thanks be to God!

Holiday letdown

The word for today was "blah."  Blah weather, blah emotions, blah, blah, blah.

Christmas is over and there is nothing to look forward to for quite some time.  I honestly can't think of anything to look forward to at all.

G and I do not have New Year's Eve plans.  I would have to think long and hard to remember the last time G and I did have NYE plans.  In 1990 we went to dinner at a friend's house; I was pregnant with M.  Maybe ten years ago I spent the evening with my friend J at her house and after the Times Square ball drop, I drove home. 

It would never occur to G that maybe I would like to do something besides sit around and watch movies where lots of people get blown up and die.  It would never occur to him to consider doing something fun.

So for me, a good NYE is one where I have a decent amount of alcohol on hand so that by the time I go to bed, I'm already halfway (or more than halfway) bombed so I don't have much time to lie in bed and cry before I pass out.

I can hardly wait.   

Merry Christmas!

And it truly was a Merry Christmas.

We were all able to gather at my parent's home in Decatur -- G and me, E, N, K, and M.  Even my brother and his wife came for brunch this morning.  It was nice to see them again so soon as we just saw them at Thanksgiving and we normally don't see them at both Thanksgiving and Christmas.

We went to the 5:00 service for Christmas Eve.  My aunt and uncle met us there and afterward they came back to my parent's house for dinner.  We had our traditional Christmas Eve lasagna.  : )

Also at church, we saw my cousin, his wife, and their children.  W is the best little boy ever and his sister, S, is getting so big!  She is almost 19 months old and a beautiful little girl; she looked especially precious in her dark green velvet dress with white "fur" trim on the long sleeves and all around the hem of her full skirt.  We were even able to persuade her to twirl for us.  : )

Christmas afternoon we walked down the street and around the corner to visit with Great-Aunt R.  Everyone in our family will tell you that she is a pistol, and Christmas Day was no exception.  She was by turns, feisty and a little sad.  We talked about her husband, Uncle G, and that made her a little teary.  But in spite of the memories of loss, I know she was glad that we came to see her.  As she always says, "There's them that live right here in town that never come to see me."       

Over the course of the weekend we ate way too much food -- blackberry cobbler, sugar cookies, biscuits and gravy, ham, hash brown casserole, cinnamon rolls, bacon, and noodle kugel.  We also dranks lots and lots of coffee and more than a little bit of wine on Christmas eve.

I am well aware that these family times are precious and I don't take them for granted.  Who knows if we will all be together next year to celebrate Christmas.  This time next year E and N might be living in Seattle or Salem, VA or Springfield, MO.  Only the Lord knows where we will all be and what we will be doing.

But this year we were blessed to be in Decatur and it was a very, merry Christmas!

Still so much to do

It's officially Christmas Eve.  Blogger post times are based on PST, but here in the Midwest it's 12:01 AM on December 24th, so Christmas Eve is NOW.

I still have much to accomplish before we leave home for the weekend to go to the place I called home for 22 years (and still call home).

I mailed out all of the Christmas cards.  The picture turned out pretty good and I've gotten some nice feedback from a few people.

In spite of the humidity I was able to make three batches of toffee to give as gifts to friends.  I'll still need to make two more batches after Christmas, but life will be a little bit less hectic then, and hopefully less humid.

As far as gifts go, if I haven't bought it by now, you aren't getting it, at least not for Christmas 2011.  G and M were troopers this evening and helped by wrapping a lot of presents.  Without their help I would probably end up trying to wrap presents in the back of the Suburban on the ride to Decatur. 

M's visit to her gastro doctor and G's colonoscopy are behind us (no pun intended) and thankfully both events were uneventful.  M discovered a chip in one of her front teeth so she made a quick trip to the dentist this afternoon.  I was glad that she was confident enough to handle that on her own -- both setting up the appointment and seeing the dentist.  Yay for steps toward maturity and adulthood!

So, I still have a few presents to tissue and put in gift bags and I better get moving.  In the morning I'll need to pack my duffle bag and make myself crazy worrying whether or not I forgot to buy/wrap/pack someone's present.

Merry Christmas!

Thankful Thursday

G's colonoscopy went well today.  The doctor said that everything looked great, not even one polyp.

Lucky G.  I wish that M and I had been that fortunate.  : / 

In spite of my envy, I am very thankful that G's colonoscopy was clear and normal.  Now it will be at least ten years (hopefully) before I'll have to take him to have another scope.  I'm sure he's willing to wait at least that long as well.

Oh what fun

When you read that title, don't you just want to finish it off by singing "it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh"?  Especially at this time of year, that's what pops into my mind.

But that's not what it's really referencing.  No, if you're a Brichacek, this is the Year of the Colonoscopy, and tomorrow it's G's turn to have the kind of "fun" that everyone over the age of 50 just can't wait to have.  Not.

Yes, G is scheduled to report to a surgery center in Lombard at 10:00 for his first (and hopefully last) colonoscopy.  Oh what fun indeed.

Actually he's already experienced the most FUN of the procedure -- the cleansing prep.  Ugh.  I would gladly have a colonoscopy once a year if I could do it without having to drink the noxious liquid.  Amazingly G didn't seem to think the gallon of ick tasted all that bad.  He didn't even complain about the salty viscosity.  I think he must have been prescribed something slightly different than the horrible stuff I had to drink.  G's biggest complaint was that he felt stuffed and that he was freezing cold from drinking the refrigerated liquid.  He actually was able to finish the entire gallon; I could only manage to choke down about 3/4 of the container.  : /

Hopefully tomorrow will be an uneventful day.  I don't anticipate the doctor finding anything out of the ordinary -- actually I don't anticipate the doctor finding anything.  But then I could never have anticipated Meredith's doctor finding a pre-cancerous polyp when she had her colonoscopy six months ago. 

Ultimately there isn't anything we can do except trust God because he is sovereign over all aspects of our lives and He will sustain us in every situation and circumstance.  I'm glad that God is in control!

It's the most wonderful time of the year

Erm, today . . . not so much.  : /

Why do people seem to clash so much at Christmas (or other holidays)?  And when I say "people," I mean M and me.

M is applying for a summer internship in Sydney.  The last thing she needs to do to complete her application is answer an essay question about examples of when she has exhibited maturity, responsibility, and good communication skills, as well as cite an example of how she has dealt with frustration.  M does not like to write.  I am more than happy to read over what she writes and make suggestions or point out grammar and spelling errors, but I will not write something for her, especially not something that is supposed to be a personal description of situations in her life.

Thankfully, M didn't ask me to write her essay, but she was very put out with me that I wasn't willing to be more involved with the idea-gathering process.  I made a few suggestions (that she rejected) and then she seemed put out when I went back to working on addressing Christmas cards.

Apparently M decided to write about apartment living.  She mentioned something about how important communication was now that she was living with three people instead of just one roommate (like her past two years in the dorms). 

I should have kept my mouth shut, but I didn't.  Instead I said, "Except you don't have good communication."  I was remembering all of the conversations M and I have had about how she feels her apartment-mates take advantage of the fact that she likes to cook and bake and can't stand a dirty kitchen or an overflowing garbage can.  M has complained over and over about feeling left out and used by these three girls who are supposedly her friends.  When I suggest that she talk with them about what's happening, she refuses.  And when I'm critical of these girls who exclude her and make her cry, she defends them and gets angry with me for saying anything against them.

I don't know what to do and I wish that this issue didn't come up less than a week before Christmas.  : /       

So much to do . . .

and so little time left in which to do it all.

Christmas is less than a week away.  I need to have all the presents bought and wrapped by Friday.

I still have to send Christmas cards, but G doesn't have the photo ready yet.  : /

On a non-holiday note, I have to take M to the gastroenterologist on Wednesday and I also have to spend a good chunk of Thursday with G when he has a colonoscopy.  Why does all of this have to happen a few days before Christmas? 

And if all of the above isn't enough, somewhere in the midst of this craziness busyness, I need to find time to make toffee and cookies to give as gifts to a few select friends.

I really don't think I'm going to be able to get it all done, especially the toffee.  Humidity and rain are the morbid enemies of toffee and it's supposed to rain tomorrow.  Ideal toffee weather is cold and dry.  Whoever thought I would be unhappy because it's not cold enough?

Honored

M and I drove home from West Lafayette yesterday.  On the way, we decided to stop at Albanese's Candy Factory in Hobart.  I had seen their signs on I-65 for several years, but it never seemed like a good time to stop to see the home of the "world's best gummi bears."  Yesterday the stars aligned and we agreed we needed to check this place out.

As M drove east on Route 30, my cell phone rang.  I was surprised to hear my son-in-law's voice on the phone.  N was in Salem, Virginia to interview for an internship.  

Thankful Thursday

Sometimes it's better to be thankful for the little things in life, rather than focusing on the really big, monumental things.

The little things are all around me every day. 

I just need to look for them. 

And take the time to stop and truly be thankful for them.

I suppose that's what's called taking time to stop and smell the roses . . . or the strawberries.  Pulling over to the side of the road to watch the sunset.  Listening patiently to the rambling story of a child (when so much needs to be done in too short of a time) yet being grateful that she graced you with the telling of her tale.

I'm thankful for the little things that bring beauty and joy and laughter to my life.

To the person who found my purple mittens

and kept them:

I hope you love them as much as I did.

I loved those mittens so much that I bought a second pair when the first pair started to look ratty from too many winters of snow shoveling.

I loved the just right shade of purple and the softness of the polar fleece.  I especially loved the darker purple suede on the palm and the thumb that allowed me to keep a firm grip on the steering wheel.

But most of all I loved how warm and toasty my hands and fingers were inside my beloved purple mittens.  On the very coldest days I would slip on a thin pair of gloves and then pull on my mittens -- that was all it took to keep my hands warm in frigid conditions.  My purple mittens could handle whatever Old ManWinter could dish out.

I feel lost without my mittens.  It sounds stupid, but there's an empty feeling inside me that's almost like the feeling I've experienced when someone I love has died.  Yes, this loss has really hit me hard.

I have other mittens and gloves that I can wear, but none of them are as warm or bring me as much joy as the beautiful purple mittens that have been my favorites for over ten years.

I hope my mittens have found a home with someone who will wear them and love them as much as I did, but I really wish that their forever home was with me.     

A matter of perspective

There was a lunar eclipse last night.  I heard about it on the news -- it was supposed to be spectacular and it was supposed to be visible close to dawn.

I didn't have any intention of staying up for the eclipse, let alone going outside in the freezing cold to watch it, but when 4:00 rolled around and I was still up, I figured "what the heck."

I bundled up in my coat and mittens, but I didn't want to bother with socks and shoes, so I put on my soccer slides.  Even though there was still a little bit of snow on the sidewalk, I didn't think it would bother me since my jeans are fairly long.

The sky was totally clear and the stars were incredibly bright in spite of the streetlights and porch lights in the neighborhood.  The moon was huge and full, a beautiful silvery-white against the velvety navy of the sky.  Even though it was around 7 degrees, I felt reasonably warm.

I stared at the moon for awhile.  Unfortunately I didn't see any sign of a change that could be attributed to an eclipse.  When I began to grow cold, I decided that it would be a good idea to go inside and go to bed.  Eclipses are much more fun in warmer weather.

Yet as I lingered for a little while longer, I thought about how I had initially been warm when I first gazed up at the sky but soon the cold penetrated my warm coat and mittens.  What about people who don't have warm winter clothing?  What about men and women, and sometimes even children, who aren't able to return to a house with a working furnace?  G and I keep our furnace set fairly low for economical reasons, but our house is still relatively warm.  Some homeless people take shelter in their car each night or sneak into abandoned buildings.  Others hide behind garbage dumpsters to escape the worst of the wind and snow.

Do those people ever look up at the moon and marvel at the beauty that God placed in the sky?  Or are they too focused on trying to keep warm -- struggling to survive -- to be able to afford the luxury of gazing at the moon and the stars that illuminate the heavens?

For me, the early morning interlude in the frigid air was invigorating as I enjoyed God's handiwork of moon glow and starlight.  Yet I suspect my perspective on the scene would have been different if I wasn't fortunate enough to be able to scurry back to the comfort of a heated home and an electric blanket.

This morning I read in the Tribune that the eclipse was outstanding on the west coast and in parts of Asia.  The moon turned from light orange to bright red as the eclipse coincided with sunrise.  The pictures I've seen are impressive, but I'm sure they can't begin to compare to the experience of seeing it unfold in person.  

My eclipse experience was quite likely different from that of a Chicago observer who spends their life on the street night after night, no matter the weather or season.  And my experience was also very different from someone thousands of miles away from me who watched the brilliantly silver moon  grow both shadowy and colorful as the earth passed between it and the sun.

This eclipse, like so much of life, was a matter of perspective.

Addiction -- like I needed another one

Just in time for Christmas . . . when I should be shopping, wrapping, baking, cleaning, addressing, mailing, preparing, worshiping, sleeping . . . I have a new addiction.

Crush the Castle.

So much fun.  I have conquered all the levels, ie. crushed all of the castles, but I keep playing it anyway.

I need to stop.

Thankful Thursday -- and boy am I thankful!

It's Thursday and I finally feel like I have my life back.  Since Thanksgiving I've been under the gun to get a lot of writing done and it hasn't been easy.  There have been way too many late nights, and not the fun kind of late nights that I'm used to.  But today, at 10:15 a.m. (after writing through the night -- ugh!) I finished my last assignment of 2011!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!  Yes, I am excited.  Very, very excited.  : ))

And very, very tired.

I want a cookie!

Almost every Sunday evening, E and I talk on the phone.  It's fun for me to hear what she did over the weekend and catch up on all that happened during the past week.

Tonight I wanted to hear about a cookie exchange that E had gone to on Saturday afternoon with some of her friends from church.  The last time I talked to E, she was busily baking the molasses cookies that she planned to take to the exchange.

These particular cookies are definitely delicious.  I made them as a gift for a friend and her brother to nibble on during a long car trip and I think they liked them.  If I didn't have self-control issues, I would make some this week for G and I to have in the evening with hot tea.

But back to my conversation with E.  I asked her what the best cookie was that she ate at the exchange, and she answered without hesitation, "Mine!"

I love her response!  She laughed when she said it, but I think she was dead serious.  I raised her to tell the truth, so I have to trust that she honestly meant that her cookies were the tastiest.  I also love that E is so confident in her baking skills -- of course her cookies were the best!

I wish I had one (or two or twelve) of those cookies right now.  : )

You just never know

I never thought this would happen.

I was watching Say Yes to the Dress tonight, and one of the brides that was featured on the show is someone I know!  Actually the bride is a young woman my oldest daughter has known since grade school.  Freshman year in high school they played on the tennis team together, and the summer before junior year they traveled in Europe with a group lead by some of the foreign language teachers.  

And now that I think of it, I was K's Girl Scout leader for a few years!  It's much more fun to say that I was a Girl Scout leader to a present-day celebrity than have to admit that I was also a Girl Scout leader for not one, but two girls who became unwed mothers while they were still in high school.

It was fun to watch K on the show.  She chose a gorgeous dress and I'm sure she will be a beautiful bride.  Best wishes K!  Here's wishing you and your fiance a lifetime of happiness!

Thankful Thursday

Yesterday evening my small group finished our study of Philippians.  One of the key themes of the epistle is joy.  Paul continually exhorts the church in Philippi to rejoice -- to rejoice in the Lord and to rejoice in all circumstances.

I feel like Paul's message is directed to me, except I'm substituting the word thanks where Paul used joy/rejoice.

A few things have happened lately that have left me feeling less than thankful.  But I know that my choice to give thanks cannot be dependent on circumstances.  In good times or bad, in need or in plenty, God calls me to be thankful.  He doesn't say it's good to be thankful when life is going smoothly, but it's okay to be crabby and dissatisfied when life is a mess.

Scripture says, "Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; for His steadfast love endures forever!" 1 Chronicles 16:34  

I can give thanks at all times, not because my life is great, but because the LORD is good and His unchanging love for me is never-ending.  That reality is definitely worthy of my thanksgiving!