It's been a hard week.
Tuesday was the worst. If I could have, I would have spent the entire day in bed, crying. But even when events happen that are the total opposite of my hopes or plans, life goes on.
Yesterday our daughter and her husband traveled to Montreal. They flew most of the way and then rented a car to drive from Burlington, VT to Montreal. Apparently airfares to Canada are outrageous. They left their home at 3:00 a.m. and by 3:00 p.m. they were settled into their hotel room.
Our son-in-law e-mailed to say that they had arrived safely -- like airfares, texts and cell phone calls between Montreal and the US are also pretty expensive. He said they had some mild turbulence on their flight to Burlington, but nothing to get excited about. The drive was also uneventful. He thanked me for encouraging our daughter to study French, as her familiarity with the language helped with the various road signs. They only got lost once and quickly were able to get back on the right track.
Today our son-in-law presented at the 2011 Biennial Meeting of the Society for Research in Child Development. His paper symposium topic was Measurement and Prevention of Child Disruptive and Dysfunctional Parenting Practices: Comparison of the Factor Structures of the Report of Child Behavior by Teachers and Parents Using Rasch Modeling. I don't know what that means, but I hope his presentation went well.
With the presentation out of the way, E and N are free to explore Montreal. Unfortunately the weather is predicted to be less than ideal, but that shouldn't stop them from having a great time. Our daughter has researched some of the museums and other attractions so they should have more than enough to see and do.
I am thankful for the safe travel that our daughter and son-in-law experienced on Wednesday and I pray that they will have the same safe journey for their trip home on Sunday. I am thankful that our son-in-law was able to participate in this symposium. And I am thankful for the opportunity that E and N have to take a break from the stress of work and school to relax and enjoy each other and discover a new city and a different culture.
I can hardly wait to hear all about their trip! : )
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Odds and ends
Ever since the time change, I have not been sleeping well. I am sort of sensitive to light, so I think the earlier sunrise is waking me up when I've only had a few hours of sleep. Unfortunately I haven't been able to easily fall back to sleep. I suppose I should make more of an effort to go to bed earlier.
Even though my sleep pattern is off, I am having a lot of dreams. Weird dreams, odd dreams, dreams about people I haven't seen in more than fifteen years. I don't know what to make of it. Often times when I dream, I can connect the dream to a worry or an event in my present life, but these dreams seem to be more random.
I know the kind of dream I want to have, but I haven't had that sort of dream in a long time. People use the phrase "in your dreams" to describe something that could only happen outside of the reality of waking life, ie. while you're asleep and dreaming, but even that isn't true for me.
Saturday I had lunch with a friend. She didn't notice anything different about my hair. I almost asked her how she liked my highlights and then I thought, why bother. Apparently my highlights are invisible and I am the most unremarkable person ever.
This past weekend I cat-sat for a beautiful Siamese cat. He is very laid back, definitely not a typical yowling, picky Siamese. I asked his family to leave his brush out so I could brush him -- he has soft, thick fur and he seems to shed a lot. Fortunately he loved being brushed. I kidded him and told him that I had brushed out enough fur to make a small kitten. I tried to take a few pictures, but I didn't have the shutter speed set fast enough to get a good non-blurry picture.
I haven't been doing very well with my resolve to work on my Bible study a little bit at a time as opposed to all in one marathon session. This is spring break week, so the group won't meet until the following Wednesday. I really want to start the lesson now so I can have time to go back and review before we meet; it also would be great to have time to do the one or two lessons I missed last semester. I find it especially apropos that in the weeks leading up to Easter, we have reached the account of Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection in our study of the Gospel of John. God's timing is perfect!
I have no idea what my family will do to celebrate Easter. Two of my children are out-of-state and I don't know what their plans are as far as church or other activities. Plus our married daughter needs to take her in-laws and their plans into consideration also. Last year we had Easter dinner with my husband's family and our middle child was able to join us. I guess I need to start making some phone calls and tentative plans.
Even though my sleep pattern is off, I am having a lot of dreams. Weird dreams, odd dreams, dreams about people I haven't seen in more than fifteen years. I don't know what to make of it. Often times when I dream, I can connect the dream to a worry or an event in my present life, but these dreams seem to be more random.
I know the kind of dream I want to have, but I haven't had that sort of dream in a long time. People use the phrase "in your dreams" to describe something that could only happen outside of the reality of waking life, ie. while you're asleep and dreaming, but even that isn't true for me.
Saturday I had lunch with a friend. She didn't notice anything different about my hair. I almost asked her how she liked my highlights and then I thought, why bother. Apparently my highlights are invisible and I am the most unremarkable person ever.
This past weekend I cat-sat for a beautiful Siamese cat. He is very laid back, definitely not a typical yowling, picky Siamese. I asked his family to leave his brush out so I could brush him -- he has soft, thick fur and he seems to shed a lot. Fortunately he loved being brushed. I kidded him and told him that I had brushed out enough fur to make a small kitten. I tried to take a few pictures, but I didn't have the shutter speed set fast enough to get a good non-blurry picture.
I haven't been doing very well with my resolve to work on my Bible study a little bit at a time as opposed to all in one marathon session. This is spring break week, so the group won't meet until the following Wednesday. I really want to start the lesson now so I can have time to go back and review before we meet; it also would be great to have time to do the one or two lessons I missed last semester. I find it especially apropos that in the weeks leading up to Easter, we have reached the account of Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection in our study of the Gospel of John. God's timing is perfect!
I have no idea what my family will do to celebrate Easter. Two of my children are out-of-state and I don't know what their plans are as far as church or other activities. Plus our married daughter needs to take her in-laws and their plans into consideration also. Last year we had Easter dinner with my husband's family and our middle child was able to join us. I guess I need to start making some phone calls and tentative plans.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Thankful Thursday
It snowed and sleeted last night.
Today it was gray and cold and windy.
If I didn't know better, I would say that it was December 24 instead of March 24. This weather is certainly more suited for the week of Christmas rather than the first week of spring. Looking ahead to the end of next week, more wintery weather is in the forecast.
So while the weather outside may be frightful, with more snow showers on the way, at least one aspect of Christmas is no longer a part of my life.
I am thankful, extremely thankful, that my husband finally took down our outdoor Christmas decorations.
Outdoor Christmas decorations -- lights, yard ornaments and such -- are a dicey proposition in the upper midwest. As is true of so much of midwestern life, timing and the weather are absolutely crucial.
Some people put up their Christmas displays shortly after Halloween. Most people wait until just before or just after Thanksgiving. And like our next-door neighbors, some people put up their Christmas lights and never take them down.
We generally aim to decorate the exterior of our house fairly soon after Thanksgiving. If we celebrated the holiday at home, it would be easier to achieve that goal. But our tradition is to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family 175 miles away. We usually don't return home until the very end of the holiday weekend, so if Thanksgiving falls to the later end of the possible range of dates, our decorations may not make their appearance until the first or second weekend of December.
Unfortunately, weather has often thrown a wrench in our plans. Once our gutters are filled with snow and ice, it's practically impossible to hang the lights, and piles of snow and frozen ground make it difficult to anchor our larger pieces.
This year the yard decorations went up without a hitch, but the lights along the eaves were a no go. I missed the festive look, but consoled myself with the thought that our electric bill wouldn't be through the roof.
The real problem presented itself when Christmas was over. We were inundated with snow and ice. The electrical cords that snaked to the various trees and figures were buried under heaps of snow. And the pieces that weren't lit were firmly staked into rock solid frozen earth. Nothing was budging.
My husband agreed to unplug the illuminated decorations, so at least our house wasn't glowing as brightly as Rudolph's nose every night. But there was no escaping the holiday display in the daylight -- a family of three large, white, wooden reindeer, a plastic snowman, two skeletal Christmas trees and a Santa Stop Here sign screamed "Merry Christmas!" to everyone who drove along our street.
Weeks passed and still more snow fell. Then my husband left for Florida and the Blizzard of 2011 dumped more than 20 inches of snow on the greater metropolitan area.
For awhile there was so much snow the Christmas decorations were hidden beneath a mountainous blanket of white. But almost as quickly as it came, the snow melted, and once again I felt like I was living in a white trash nightmare. The snow was gone, but the ground was still frozen and the decorations were still there in all their unseasonal garishness.
Finally, finally, my husband decided that he would check to see if the earth had thawed enough for him to pry the big pieces out of the ground . . . and . . . eureka! They wiggled, they moved, they yielded to force and one by one they left big, gaping, muddy holes in our yard, but thank heavens they no longer graced our front lawn with their presence.
I enjoy the festive look of Christmas decorations in December -- but in January, February, March . . . umh, not so much. So I am especially thankful that my yard is finally blissfully bare in anticipation of the beautiful natural decorations of spring.
Now if it could just hurry up and get here! : )
Today it was gray and cold and windy.
If I didn't know better, I would say that it was December 24 instead of March 24. This weather is certainly more suited for the week of Christmas rather than the first week of spring. Looking ahead to the end of next week, more wintery weather is in the forecast.
So while the weather outside may be frightful, with more snow showers on the way, at least one aspect of Christmas is no longer a part of my life.
I am thankful, extremely thankful, that my husband finally took down our outdoor Christmas decorations.
Outdoor Christmas decorations -- lights, yard ornaments and such -- are a dicey proposition in the upper midwest. As is true of so much of midwestern life, timing and the weather are absolutely crucial.
Some people put up their Christmas displays shortly after Halloween. Most people wait until just before or just after Thanksgiving. And like our next-door neighbors, some people put up their Christmas lights and never take them down.
We generally aim to decorate the exterior of our house fairly soon after Thanksgiving. If we celebrated the holiday at home, it would be easier to achieve that goal. But our tradition is to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family 175 miles away. We usually don't return home until the very end of the holiday weekend, so if Thanksgiving falls to the later end of the possible range of dates, our decorations may not make their appearance until the first or second weekend of December.
Unfortunately, weather has often thrown a wrench in our plans. Once our gutters are filled with snow and ice, it's practically impossible to hang the lights, and piles of snow and frozen ground make it difficult to anchor our larger pieces.
This year the yard decorations went up without a hitch, but the lights along the eaves were a no go. I missed the festive look, but consoled myself with the thought that our electric bill wouldn't be through the roof.
The real problem presented itself when Christmas was over. We were inundated with snow and ice. The electrical cords that snaked to the various trees and figures were buried under heaps of snow. And the pieces that weren't lit were firmly staked into rock solid frozen earth. Nothing was budging.
My husband agreed to unplug the illuminated decorations, so at least our house wasn't glowing as brightly as Rudolph's nose every night. But there was no escaping the holiday display in the daylight -- a family of three large, white, wooden reindeer, a plastic snowman, two skeletal Christmas trees and a Santa Stop Here sign screamed "Merry Christmas!" to everyone who drove along our street.
Weeks passed and still more snow fell. Then my husband left for Florida and the Blizzard of 2011 dumped more than 20 inches of snow on the greater metropolitan area.
For awhile there was so much snow the Christmas decorations were hidden beneath a mountainous blanket of white. But almost as quickly as it came, the snow melted, and once again I felt like I was living in a white trash nightmare. The snow was gone, but the ground was still frozen and the decorations were still there in all their unseasonal garishness.
Finally, finally, my husband decided that he would check to see if the earth had thawed enough for him to pry the big pieces out of the ground . . . and . . . eureka! They wiggled, they moved, they yielded to force and one by one they left big, gaping, muddy holes in our yard, but thank heavens they no longer graced our front lawn with their presence.
I enjoy the festive look of Christmas decorations in December -- but in January, February, March . . . umh, not so much. So I am especially thankful that my yard is finally blissfully bare in anticipation of the beautiful natural decorations of spring.
Now if it could just hurry up and get here! : )
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Updates
* Sunday I saw my middle child -- the one who tells me she loves my hair and that I need to promise her I will never color it.
She didn't notice my highlights.
She sat across from me at Potbelly and never once mentioned my hair. We spent an hour or so working together on a project and she didn't even acknowledge that I'd had my hair cut, let alone make any comment about the new streaks of color.
Saturday I'm having lunch with a woman who is my oldest adult friend -- the person I've been friends with for the longest time in my adult life (I have several friends who are chronologically older than this woman). I feel pretty certain that Jill will notice my highlights. But then again, I said the same thing about my friend Diane.
* I gave up swearing for Lent. It has been a sacrifice and a struggle.
The two triggers that I predicted would give me the most difficulty have definitely proved to be problematic.
I can't totally stop driving, but a combination of yucky weather and $3.69 per gallon gas have somewhat curbed my excursions. Unfortunately the few times I have driven, I have slipped once or twice.
Basketball has also sorely tested me. My favorite teams in the NCAA tournament, Illinois and Purdue, lost in the third round (really the second round, but with the new play-in format it's called the third round). In an extremely wise move, both from a swearing and personal sanity standpoint, I decided to not watch those last games, and thus avoided countless opportunities to backslide into the profanity cesspool.
Although the tournament is far from over, I probably will not watch any more games. Well, maybe I'll watch the championship game, depending on who's playing. However, if Kansas plays for the national championship I will definitely have to find a good book to read -- Bill Self(ish) and the Jayhawks bring out the absolute worst in me.
* Blog posts on the blogs I read continue to be less frequent than they were before the Japanese earthquake and tsunami. I think people are still reeling from the initial disaster and the overwhelming struggles and new challenges that the Japanese people are facing.
It does seem insensitive to blithely post as if nothing has happened. I was sad when I found out (after the fact) that March 18 was the Blogger's Day of Silence -- For Japan With Love. I certainly don't post every day, but I did post that day. The main purpose of the event was to raise money for relief efforts, but refraining from blogging also seemed a fitting way to show respect for Japan and to acknowledge that there are far more important things happening in the world than whether or not someone's hair color was altered or their team won a basketball game.
She didn't notice my highlights.
She sat across from me at Potbelly and never once mentioned my hair. We spent an hour or so working together on a project and she didn't even acknowledge that I'd had my hair cut, let alone make any comment about the new streaks of color.
Saturday I'm having lunch with a woman who is my oldest adult friend -- the person I've been friends with for the longest time in my adult life (I have several friends who are chronologically older than this woman). I feel pretty certain that Jill will notice my highlights. But then again, I said the same thing about my friend Diane.
* I gave up swearing for Lent. It has been a sacrifice and a struggle.
The two triggers that I predicted would give me the most difficulty have definitely proved to be problematic.
I can't totally stop driving, but a combination of yucky weather and $3.69 per gallon gas have somewhat curbed my excursions. Unfortunately the few times I have driven, I have slipped once or twice.
Basketball has also sorely tested me. My favorite teams in the NCAA tournament, Illinois and Purdue, lost in the third round (really the second round, but with the new play-in format it's called the third round). In an extremely wise move, both from a swearing and personal sanity standpoint, I decided to not watch those last games, and thus avoided countless opportunities to backslide into the profanity cesspool.
Although the tournament is far from over, I probably will not watch any more games. Well, maybe I'll watch the championship game, depending on who's playing. However, if Kansas plays for the national championship I will definitely have to find a good book to read -- Bill Self(ish) and the Jayhawks bring out the absolute worst in me.
* Blog posts on the blogs I read continue to be less frequent than they were before the Japanese earthquake and tsunami. I think people are still reeling from the initial disaster and the overwhelming struggles and new challenges that the Japanese people are facing.
It does seem insensitive to blithely post as if nothing has happened. I was sad when I found out (after the fact) that March 18 was the Blogger's Day of Silence -- For Japan With Love. I certainly don't post every day, but I did post that day. The main purpose of the event was to raise money for relief efforts, but refraining from blogging also seemed a fitting way to show respect for Japan and to acknowledge that there are far more important things happening in the world than whether or not someone's hair color was altered or their team won a basketball game.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Overrated
Spring is nice. I like flowers and budding trees.
Green grass is a welcome change from white expanses of snow, followed by gray expanses of snow, followed by mud.
But really, spring is overrated. Or maybe it's just that I live in an area of the country where spring doesn't live up to the hype.
We have now reached both meteorological and astronomical spring and, as I predicted over two months ago, it's really still winter. We have had only one truly nice day in the last two weeks. I've worn flip flops a few times, but I've also received more than a few odd looks. I suppose I really shouldn't have worn flip flops with my winter coat, but at least I didn't also wear gloves and a scarf.
Even though my furnace has run today, it hasn't run enough to warm up the house, and I've had to use a space heater to take away the chill in the room where I've been working. Tomorrow or the day after we're supposed to get snow.
I'm grouchy because I haven't yet adjusted to the hour of sleep I lost for Daylight Savings Time. I also don't like it when the furnace doesn't run enough to allow my bath towel to dry completely before I take a shower again. Drying off with a damp towel bugs me.
I am a crabby, sleep-deprived mess and I'd like to blame it all on spring (or the lack thereof) but I can't.
I need spring to come to my corner of the world and I really need spring to brighten my heart.
Green grass is a welcome change from white expanses of snow, followed by gray expanses of snow, followed by mud.
But really, spring is overrated. Or maybe it's just that I live in an area of the country where spring doesn't live up to the hype.
We have now reached both meteorological and astronomical spring and, as I predicted over two months ago, it's really still winter. We have had only one truly nice day in the last two weeks. I've worn flip flops a few times, but I've also received more than a few odd looks. I suppose I really shouldn't have worn flip flops with my winter coat, but at least I didn't also wear gloves and a scarf.
Even though my furnace has run today, it hasn't run enough to warm up the house, and I've had to use a space heater to take away the chill in the room where I've been working. Tomorrow or the day after we're supposed to get snow.
I'm grouchy because I haven't yet adjusted to the hour of sleep I lost for Daylight Savings Time. I also don't like it when the furnace doesn't run enough to allow my bath towel to dry completely before I take a shower again. Drying off with a damp towel bugs me.
I am a crabby, sleep-deprived mess and I'd like to blame it all on spring (or the lack thereof) but I can't.
I need spring to come to my corner of the world and I really need spring to brighten my heart.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Can you hear me?
Years ago my husband was playing around with a new laptop. He asked our middle child to say something so he could test out the microphone hookup. Totally unprompted, our child said this:
One, two, three.
Testing one, two, three.
Can you hear me? (pause for two beats)
Can you hear me?
We were shocked. Where did she come up with this? She was approximately four years old at the time, yet she recited this off the top of her head with a killer rhythm. Thank heavens my husband captured her impromptu rap and saved it in a wave file. For years K's rap played when he powered up his laptop, and every time I heard it, I smiled. : )
Today that phrase -- "can you hear me?" -- popped into my mind again.
My husband and I needed to run some errands. I was ready to leave, but my husband decided to use the bathroom first. I sorted through some coupons in the kitchen while I waited.
When he came back to the kitchen he said, "What did you say?" I told him I hadn't said anything. Then I told him I thought it was odd that when I do say something, he never seems to hear me, but when I haven't said a word, he somehow thinks I am talking to him.
He should have stopped there, but he dug himself a deeper hole.
In total seriousness, he proceeded to tell me that what he thought was my voice must have been the squeak of the spring rod that holds the roll of toilet paper in place. He actually said, "You know how it makes that 'screech screech screech' sound?"
Really? My voice sounds like the sound of the squeaky, screechy toilet paper roller?
Counting to one, two, three . . .
Can you hear me?
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Thankful Thursday
I almost forgot that today was Thursday. My days have been off this week (last week too). I actually kept thinking all day long that today was Friday, but it's Thursday. I think I might have been concentrating too much on the fact that it's St. Patrick's Day and not paying enough attention to the specific day of the week.
Today something unusual happened -- I talked on the phone with each of my three children. One of my kids tends to call me each day. We don't talk for very long; it's more of a check-in call to let me know that everything's okay. I swear I'm not a big worry wart, but it is nice to have that daily reassurance. My oldest child calls every Thursday evening. The middle child calls when the mood strikes. I never know when to expect a phone call from this kiddo.
But today the stars must have been aligned just right because all my kids phoned me. And even better -- they didn't call at the same time! I hate it when I'm talking on my cell and someone else calls. I think it's rude to interrupt a call to take another call, but I usually do it, if only to tell caller #2 that I'm on the phone and I'll call them back when I finish with caller #1.
It was great to have three separate, uninterrupted conversations with each child, especially since no one was calling with a problem or a financial need. They just wanted to talk. To me. : )
So on this St. Patrick's Day Thankful Thursday, I am grateful that my adult children call just to say "hello" and to tell me that they love me!
Today something unusual happened -- I talked on the phone with each of my three children. One of my kids tends to call me each day. We don't talk for very long; it's more of a check-in call to let me know that everything's okay. I swear I'm not a big worry wart, but it is nice to have that daily reassurance. My oldest child calls every Thursday evening. The middle child calls when the mood strikes. I never know when to expect a phone call from this kiddo.
But today the stars must have been aligned just right because all my kids phoned me. And even better -- they didn't call at the same time! I hate it when I'm talking on my cell and someone else calls. I think it's rude to interrupt a call to take another call, but I usually do it, if only to tell caller #2 that I'm on the phone and I'll call them back when I finish with caller #1.
It was great to have three separate, uninterrupted conversations with each child, especially since no one was calling with a problem or a financial need. They just wanted to talk. To me. : )
So on this St. Patrick's Day Thankful Thursday, I am grateful that my adult children call just to say "hello" and to tell me that they love me!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
It's not just me
Lately I've noticed that some of the blogs I normally read haven't posted anything new for almost a week.
I've continued to check back several times, but there have been no new posts. I think I know what's going on, because I suspect that these bloggers are struggling with the same issue that I am.
How can I blithely post about the minutiae of my life when halfway around the world in Japan, people are living moment to moment -- waiting for the next aftershock, fearing another tsunami, wondering if the radiation will spread to Tokyo or other population centers to the south.
While I bemoan the fact that The Good Wife was a rerun, people in northern Japan are searching for survivors and asking other countries to send them all the body bags they can spare. I sit in my heated home and complain about being cold, yet it's just as cold in Japan and hundreds of thousands of people are without power and shelter.
It seems frivolous to write about the things I "lack" or that I wish were different in my life right now. Maybe I'll feel differently tomorrow or the next day. In the meantime, I feel guilty for my abundance and good fortune and writing about either one seems in poor taste.
I've continued to check back several times, but there have been no new posts. I think I know what's going on, because I suspect that these bloggers are struggling with the same issue that I am.
How can I blithely post about the minutiae of my life when halfway around the world in Japan, people are living moment to moment -- waiting for the next aftershock, fearing another tsunami, wondering if the radiation will spread to Tokyo or other population centers to the south.
While I bemoan the fact that The Good Wife was a rerun, people in northern Japan are searching for survivors and asking other countries to send them all the body bags they can spare. I sit in my heated home and complain about being cold, yet it's just as cold in Japan and hundreds of thousands of people are without power and shelter.
It seems frivolous to write about the things I "lack" or that I wish were different in my life right now. Maybe I'll feel differently tomorrow or the next day. In the meantime, I feel guilty for my abundance and good fortune and writing about either one seems in poor taste.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Seeing and being seen
Yesterday I had lunch with a friend that I've known for more than twenty years. I thought for sure she would notice my highlights.
Nope. If she did notice anything different, she didn't mention it.
So now I'm second guessing myself. Did I make a disastrous mistake? Does my hair look like "you know what?" -- remember, I gave up swearing for Lent. Are my husband and friends afraid to bring up the subject because their moms drummed into them the old adage "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all?"
I don't think my hair looks hideous. I'm still happy with it, although I wish some of the highlights were less yellow and a little more of a caramel color. If I get them done again, I can probably ask Candace to make some adjustments.
Then it occurred to me -- maybe my friends aren't as observant as I thought they were. Maybe they don't really look at me.
That last thought has made me wonder -- do I really look at people? Do I look at them when they are talking to me? Do I really pay attention to what they're saying, their tone of voice, their facial expressions?
If one of my friends changed her hairstyle or started wearing colored contacts or more importantly, if she was really hurting, but trying to not show it -- would I notice? Or would I be too busy trying to talk about me?
This whole experience started out being all about me, but over the course of the week, my perspective shifted and I began to consider my own actions and responses in my relationships with the people with whom I'm closest. As a result, I've been challenged to be more observant, focused and present in my conversations and interactions with my family and friends.
In the end, it really doesn't matter that no one has noticed my hair. This week has highlighted a way for me to make some personal changes that I hope will still be a part of my life long after the highlights in my hair have faded.
Nope. If she did notice anything different, she didn't mention it.
So now I'm second guessing myself. Did I make a disastrous mistake? Does my hair look like "you know what?" -- remember, I gave up swearing for Lent. Are my husband and friends afraid to bring up the subject because their moms drummed into them the old adage "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all?"
I don't think my hair looks hideous. I'm still happy with it, although I wish some of the highlights were less yellow and a little more of a caramel color. If I get them done again, I can probably ask Candace to make some adjustments.
Then it occurred to me -- maybe my friends aren't as observant as I thought they were. Maybe they don't really look at me.
That last thought has made me wonder -- do I really look at people? Do I look at them when they are talking to me? Do I really pay attention to what they're saying, their tone of voice, their facial expressions?
If one of my friends changed her hairstyle or started wearing colored contacts or more importantly, if she was really hurting, but trying to not show it -- would I notice? Or would I be too busy trying to talk about me?
This whole experience started out being all about me, but over the course of the week, my perspective shifted and I began to consider my own actions and responses in my relationships with the people with whom I'm closest. As a result, I've been challenged to be more observant, focused and present in my conversations and interactions with my family and friends.
In the end, it really doesn't matter that no one has noticed my hair. This week has highlighted a way for me to make some personal changes that I hope will still be a part of my life long after the highlights in my hair have faded.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Thankful Thursday
I've already confessed to my internet addiction. So imagine my distress when I was unable to get to some of my favorite websites a few days ago. I didn't quite get the shakes or experience other withdrawal symptoms, but if I had been denied access for more than an hour, it might have started to get ugly.
The problem began Tuesday morning when I first opened up my browser and was prompted to update something. You can tell by my use of the highly technical term "something" that I am by no means fluent in computer. Still, I thought I could surely handle this update.
Wrong. Very, very wrong. : /
After a short time, I realized I was in over my head, so I swallowed my (by that point) beaten to a pulp pride and asked the resident computer expert, ie. my husband, for tech support. Fortunately he was able to pull himself away from the job that pays our bills and come to my aid.
He sat down at the computer and I figured that in the time it would take me to make a piece of toast and scarf it down, he would fix my problem. But it wasn't quite that easy.
Following the advice of one of our security programs, he deleted some sort of plug-in that apparently was not really a risk, but was in fact fairly important. He googled a little bit, came up with a solution and I was up and running again. Everything worked just fine . . . until the next morning, when I encountered the same problem all over again.
This time around my husband was a little more prepared than the day before. I suspect that this problem had been bouncing around in the back of his mind for the past twenty-four hours and he had a plan.
When I look back on the situation all I can think is "how frustrating!" I really don't know how people who don't have a lot of computer experience or access to someone like my husband manage to navigate these technical minefields. It's not like I was trying to do something out of the ordinary -- I was just opening a website that I look at first thing every single day of the week. Arrrgh!!!
So this Thankful Thursday I am thankful for my husband's computer expertise and his willingness to drop everything and act as my in-house tech support guy. In the real world he gets paid a lot of money to do what he does so very well, but all it cost me was a six pack of Harp. : )
The problem began Tuesday morning when I first opened up my browser and was prompted to update something. You can tell by my use of the highly technical term "something" that I am by no means fluent in computer. Still, I thought I could surely handle this update.
Wrong. Very, very wrong. : /
After a short time, I realized I was in over my head, so I swallowed my (by that point) beaten to a pulp pride and asked the resident computer expert, ie. my husband, for tech support. Fortunately he was able to pull himself away from the job that pays our bills and come to my aid.
He sat down at the computer and I figured that in the time it would take me to make a piece of toast and scarf it down, he would fix my problem. But it wasn't quite that easy.
Following the advice of one of our security programs, he deleted some sort of plug-in that apparently was not really a risk, but was in fact fairly important. He googled a little bit, came up with a solution and I was up and running again. Everything worked just fine . . . until the next morning, when I encountered the same problem all over again.
This time around my husband was a little more prepared than the day before. I suspect that this problem had been bouncing around in the back of his mind for the past twenty-four hours and he had a plan.
When I look back on the situation all I can think is "how frustrating!" I really don't know how people who don't have a lot of computer experience or access to someone like my husband manage to navigate these technical minefields. It's not like I was trying to do something out of the ordinary -- I was just opening a website that I look at first thing every single day of the week. Arrrgh!!!
So this Thankful Thursday I am thankful for my husband's computer expertise and his willingness to drop everything and act as my in-house tech support guy. In the real world he gets paid a lot of money to do what he does so very well, but all it cost me was a six pack of Harp. : )
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Oh snap!
Today is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent.
The religious tradition that I was raised in wasn't especially focused on the liturgical calendar, but we did observe some aspects of Lent. While there was no dispensation of ashes, no commitment to give up something, no meatless Fridays, there was an emphasis on the suffering and sacrifice of Jesus and a call to greater reflection and introspection.
Even though my family wasn't Catholic, we still usually observed the practice of giving up something that would represent a sacrifice. For me, as a child, that usually meant chocolate.
When I was a sophomore in college I gave up meat, bread, and potatoes. I have no idea what I ate besides salad. To be honest, I thinkpart most all of the motivation for my "sacrifice" was the fact that I was going to Daytona Beach, Florida for spring break. Undoubtedly I was hoping that my limited menu choices would result in some weight loss before I hit the beach in my bikini. Thankfully in the intervening years I have matured to the point where I no longer view Lent as an opportunity for a diet masquerading as a spiritual discipline.
This year for Lent I have decided once again to give up something. I don't know if my choice qualifies as a sacrifice, but it definitely will be difficult. I am going to give up swearing.
If I didn't need to drive a car, I probably wouldn't swear. If I didn't watch college basketball games on TV, I probably wouldn't swear. Unfortunately for me, I do drive a car and and March Madness falls smack dab in the heart of Lent, so giving up swearing will certainly be a challenge.
I don't think giving up swearing meets the criteria for a true Lenten sacrifice, but I do think that my commitment to cleanse my life (and my mouth) of this bad habit will be beneficial to me and pleasing to God.
Traditionally once Lent ended and the death and resurrection of Jesus was celebrated on Easter, the faithful were able to once again enjoy the food or habit that they had given up during the period of Lent. I remember how happy I was to eat my first hamburger and french fries after more than a month of "sacrifice" way back when I was a nineteen.
But this time around I am giving up a practice that I hope I will not resume. I am hoping that during the next 40 days the habit of not swearing will become second nature to me and the propensity to blurt out vulgarities will be a thing of the past.
Not in my own strength, but solely by the grace of God, may it be so.
The religious tradition that I was raised in wasn't especially focused on the liturgical calendar, but we did observe some aspects of Lent. While there was no dispensation of ashes, no commitment to give up something, no meatless Fridays, there was an emphasis on the suffering and sacrifice of Jesus and a call to greater reflection and introspection.
Even though my family wasn't Catholic, we still usually observed the practice of giving up something that would represent a sacrifice. For me, as a child, that usually meant chocolate.
When I was a sophomore in college I gave up meat, bread, and potatoes. I have no idea what I ate besides salad. To be honest, I think
This year for Lent I have decided once again to give up something. I don't know if my choice qualifies as a sacrifice, but it definitely will be difficult. I am going to give up swearing.
If I didn't need to drive a car, I probably wouldn't swear. If I didn't watch college basketball games on TV, I probably wouldn't swear. Unfortunately for me, I do drive a car and and March Madness falls smack dab in the heart of Lent, so giving up swearing will certainly be a challenge.
I don't think giving up swearing meets the criteria for a true Lenten sacrifice, but I do think that my commitment to cleanse my life (and my mouth) of this bad habit will be beneficial to me and pleasing to God.
Traditionally once Lent ended and the death and resurrection of Jesus was celebrated on Easter, the faithful were able to once again enjoy the food or habit that they had given up during the period of Lent. I remember how happy I was to eat my first hamburger and french fries after more than a month of "sacrifice" way back when I was a nineteen.
But this time around I am giving up a practice that I hope I will not resume. I am hoping that during the next 40 days the habit of not swearing will become second nature to me and the propensity to blurt out vulgarities will be a thing of the past.
Not in my own strength, but solely by the grace of God, may it be so.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Hell freezes over
This just in -- hell has frozen over.
Today I did something that I never really thought I would do. I didn't exactly come out and say I would never do it, but I might have given lots of people that impression.
I have needed to get my hair cut for almost two months. I almost got it cut about a month ago, but when I walked by the salon in the mall, the woman who always does my hair wasn't there and I couldn't bring myself to let a stranger cut my hair.
Finally I decided that I couldn't stand my too long hair another day -- plus I had a coupon for $5 off that expired tomorrow, so it was now or never.
When I arrived at the salon, my stylist was working with a client. Another woman had walked in right before me (rats!) but it seemed as if I would only have to wait a relatively short time, so I chilled and looked at a magazine until Candace called me over to her chair. She asked me what I was thinking about having her do and I heard myself say, "I need about 2 inches taken off and I want to get highlights."
What?!? Highlights? Where did that come from? Candace has been trying to convince me for at least two years to get highlights. All I really intended to do when I left my house this morning was get a haircut and, as a splurge, have Candace style my hair instead of walking out of the salon with a wet head. No way was I planning on getting highlights.
But there it was. I'd said "the word" and there was no taking it back. Candace was so excited she was practically jumping up and down. It would be cruel to say that I'd only been kidding, so I decided to take the plunge into the color pool.
One of my children loves my hair color. She has often complimented me on my "hair of many colors" and just last year she tried to get me to promise that I would never color my hair. I respectfully declined. I have no idea what she will think of my highlights.
I am pleased with my new look. The highlights are subtle -- maybe a little too subtle seeing as my husband didn't even notice them. Of course he also didn't notice that I got a haircut. To be honest, he rarely notices anything related to appearance, so I'm not reading too much into his non-reaction.
Tomorrow evening I'm having dinner with three friends that I've known for more than 15 years. Their reaction, or lack thereof, will be the first real test. Small group on Wednesday evening and lunch with another friend on Friday will provide more opportunities for feedback.
But I've already received the only feedback that really matters -- my own. Today I got highlights and I like them! : )
Today I did something that I never really thought I would do. I didn't exactly come out and say I would never do it, but I might have given lots of people that impression.
I have needed to get my hair cut for almost two months. I almost got it cut about a month ago, but when I walked by the salon in the mall, the woman who always does my hair wasn't there and I couldn't bring myself to let a stranger cut my hair.
Finally I decided that I couldn't stand my too long hair another day -- plus I had a coupon for $5 off that expired tomorrow, so it was now or never.
When I arrived at the salon, my stylist was working with a client. Another woman had walked in right before me (rats!) but it seemed as if I would only have to wait a relatively short time, so I chilled and looked at a magazine until Candace called me over to her chair. She asked me what I was thinking about having her do and I heard myself say, "I need about 2 inches taken off and I want to get highlights."
What?!? Highlights? Where did that come from? Candace has been trying to convince me for at least two years to get highlights. All I really intended to do when I left my house this morning was get a haircut and, as a splurge, have Candace style my hair instead of walking out of the salon with a wet head. No way was I planning on getting highlights.
But there it was. I'd said "the word" and there was no taking it back. Candace was so excited she was practically jumping up and down. It would be cruel to say that I'd only been kidding, so I decided to take the plunge into the color pool.
One of my children loves my hair color. She has often complimented me on my "hair of many colors" and just last year she tried to get me to promise that I would never color my hair. I respectfully declined. I have no idea what she will think of my highlights.
I am pleased with my new look. The highlights are subtle -- maybe a little too subtle seeing as my husband didn't even notice them. Of course he also didn't notice that I got a haircut. To be honest, he rarely notices anything related to appearance, so I'm not reading too much into his non-reaction.
Tomorrow evening I'm having dinner with three friends that I've known for more than 15 years. Their reaction, or lack thereof, will be the first real test. Small group on Wednesday evening and lunch with another friend on Friday will provide more opportunities for feedback.
But I've already received the only feedback that really matters -- my own. Today I got highlights and I like them! : )
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Time flies . . . except when it doesn't
Last Sunday seems like a year ago.
Was it just a week ago that one of my children climbed 94 floors to the top of the John Hancock Center?
Has it really been seven days since all my family was together for the first time since Christmas?
Was it only last week that my husband and I watched the the Academy Awards show on television?
It's funny how some weeks pass so slowly and others fly by. I've experienced the same phenomenon with days and months and years.
For me, the longest month ever was February 2006. How could the shortest month of the year seem like the longest? I don't know. But I do know that particular month felt so much longer than its actual 28 days.
I can remember when I was younger, my grandparents and my father would tell me time passes more quickly the older you are. How could that be? But now that I'm older, I know what they mean.
But still there are those odd days that seem like weeks and weeks that seem like months. I guess that's life.
Was it just a week ago that one of my children climbed 94 floors to the top of the John Hancock Center?
Has it really been seven days since all my family was together for the first time since Christmas?
Was it only last week that my husband and I watched the the Academy Awards show on television?
It's funny how some weeks pass so slowly and others fly by. I've experienced the same phenomenon with days and months and years.
For me, the longest month ever was February 2006. How could the shortest month of the year seem like the longest? I don't know. But I do know that particular month felt so much longer than its actual 28 days.
I can remember when I was younger, my grandparents and my father would tell me time passes more quickly the older you are. How could that be? But now that I'm older, I know what they mean.
But still there are those odd days that seem like weeks and weeks that seem like months. I guess that's life.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Thankful Thursday
Lately, I have had some cravings.
Not those kind of cravings! Thankfully, pregnancy-induced cravings are a thing of the past.
What I've been craving lately is chocolate. Luscious, flavorful, dark chocolate.
I love chocolate -- but most of all I love dark chocolate. Even before it was fashionable to prefer dark chocolate, even before dark chocolate was lauded as the "healthy" chocolate, I LOVED dark chocolate.
As a child I can remember commandeering all of the Hershey's Special Dark bars from the bag of Hershey's Miniatures. I had little interest in the milk chocolate Hershey bars, Mr. Goodbars, or Krackel bars. I also remember being more than a little miffed that there were never as many Special Dark bars in comparison to the other varieties -- clearly at a tender age I had a strong recognition of injustice.
As I grew older I developed a more discriminating palate.
Not those kind of cravings! Thankfully, pregnancy-induced cravings are a thing of the past.
What I've been craving lately is chocolate. Luscious, flavorful, dark chocolate.
I love chocolate -- but most of all I love dark chocolate. Even before it was fashionable to prefer dark chocolate, even before dark chocolate was lauded as the "healthy" chocolate, I LOVED dark chocolate.
As a child I can remember commandeering all of the Hershey's Special Dark bars from the bag of Hershey's Miniatures. I had little interest in the milk chocolate Hershey bars, Mr. Goodbars, or Krackel bars. I also remember being more than a little miffed that there were never as many Special Dark bars in comparison to the other varieties -- clearly at a tender age I had a strong recognition of injustice.
As I grew older I developed a more discriminating palate.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Update: Just do it!
Well, it's Wednesday again and I thought I'd let you know how I did with my resolution to work on my Bible study a little bit at a time over the course of the week instead of leaving it all till the last minute.
While I can honestly say I made progress toward my goal, I also have to admit that there's still plenty of room for improvement.
I didn't start the study on Thursday . . . and I didn't start the study on Friday. On Saturday I read through the scripture passage several times. Sunday evening I read the passage again and did the questions for days 1 and 2. This afternoon I finished up days 3, 4, and 5.
Even though I didn't achieve my goal, I was encouraged by some of the changes I was able to implement.
I really liked devoting one day to multiple readings of the scripture passage. When I finally started to answer the questions, I was familiar with the passage -- the words, imagery, themes, and connections. Things I might have glossed over in the first reading popped out at me the second or third time around. I think this extended reading time definitely helped me to answer the questions more thoroughly.
I also liked that I didn't feel rushed to finish the study. Even today when I finished up with the last three days, I felt like I was able to take my time and give more thought to my answers. I think my familiarity with the passage helped in that regard. It also didn't hurt that the scripture passage for this week was substantially shorter than last week.
Over all I think my new approach is the best way for me to study God's word. My goal shouldn't be to finish the study. My goal ought to be to know and obey the Word of God. If I'm just writing down answers for the sake of filling in the blanks, I might as well spend my time doing Sudoku or a crossword puzzle.
The time I spend in Bible study will help me grow closer to the Lord and cause me to conform more and more each day to the image of Christ. And like other endeavors that are worth doing well, it will take time.
I'm encouraged by the small steps I was able to take towards my goal this past week and I am confident that the Lord will enable me to take even bigger steps, see more progress, and experience greater blessing as I study His Word in the weeks to come.
I'll keep you posted! : )
While I can honestly say I made progress toward my goal, I also have to admit that there's still plenty of room for improvement.
I didn't start the study on Thursday . . . and I didn't start the study on Friday. On Saturday I read through the scripture passage several times. Sunday evening I read the passage again and did the questions for days 1 and 2. This afternoon I finished up days 3, 4, and 5.
Even though I didn't achieve my goal, I was encouraged by some of the changes I was able to implement.
I really liked devoting one day to multiple readings of the scripture passage. When I finally started to answer the questions, I was familiar with the passage -- the words, imagery, themes, and connections. Things I might have glossed over in the first reading popped out at me the second or third time around. I think this extended reading time definitely helped me to answer the questions more thoroughly.
I also liked that I didn't feel rushed to finish the study. Even today when I finished up with the last three days, I felt like I was able to take my time and give more thought to my answers. I think my familiarity with the passage helped in that regard. It also didn't hurt that the scripture passage for this week was substantially shorter than last week.
Over all I think my new approach is the best way for me to study God's word. My goal shouldn't be to finish the study. My goal ought to be to know and obey the Word of God. If I'm just writing down answers for the sake of filling in the blanks, I might as well spend my time doing Sudoku or a crossword puzzle.
The time I spend in Bible study will help me grow closer to the Lord and cause me to conform more and more each day to the image of Christ. And like other endeavors that are worth doing well, it will take time.
I'm encouraged by the small steps I was able to take towards my goal this past week and I am confident that the Lord will enable me to take even bigger steps, see more progress, and experience greater blessing as I study His Word in the weeks to come.
I'll keep you posted! : )
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