Today was a big travel day. E and K got up early (3am!) to be ready for a 4am limo ride to the Orlando airport. K had a 7am direct flight to O'Hare. E had to wait a few hours before she flew to Miami and then caught a flight to Greensboro. From there she had a two hour plus drive home to Catawba -- it was a long day for her. Once 30 Rock was over tonight, I bet she went straight to bed!
I am so thankful that E and K had safe travels home from Florida. K said that her flight was pretty turbulent. E had to get the full pat-down from the TSA before she could clear the security check in Orlando. Their travels were not without a little anxiety, but God was faithful to answer my prayers to bring them home safely.
G flies home tomorrow, and I am trusting God to bring him home safe and sound, just as he did our daughters today. In advance, thank you Lord!
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Monday, January 28, 2013
Music Monday
WBS is currently studying 1 John. With all the talk about light, I thought of this song.
(It sort of bugs me that the video creator typed in "suspicious" instead of "suspicions" [he got it right the first time] but that's a small thing. The song is awesome!)
(It sort of bugs me that the video creator typed in "suspicious" instead of "suspicions" [he got it right the first time] but that's a small thing. The song is awesome!)
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Jelly
Three-fifths of my family is in Florida.
G left on Wednesday and both E and K flew to Orlando today. I know that I could have gone if I really wanted to; I wasn't able to justify the expense, especially with the trip my mom and I are taking in June. However, I am so glad that E and K were able to get away for this mini vacation. While I would have loved to have spent time with them in a sunny and warm setting, I think it's maybe even better that they will be able to have some sister time. So, as I read the flurry of excited texts that I've received, I'm trying really hard to not be jelly (M's slang for jealous).
But still . . . I really wish I was in Florida right now too.
G left on Wednesday and both E and K flew to Orlando today. I know that I could have gone if I really wanted to; I wasn't able to justify the expense, especially with the trip my mom and I are taking in June. However, I am so glad that E and K were able to get away for this mini vacation. While I would have loved to have spent time with them in a sunny and warm setting, I think it's maybe even better that they will be able to have some sister time. So, as I read the flurry of excited texts that I've received, I'm trying really hard to not be jelly (M's slang for jealous).
But still . . . I really wish I was in Florida right now too.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Thankful Thursday
M has been sick the past two days -- so sick that she spent most of the day on Wednesday either in bed or in the bathroom. She managed to drag herself to class, but that was about all she could do.
I hate feeling so helpless when she calls me in tears, especially when she can barely summon the energy to talk to me on the phone and all I can do is offer suggestions and support from 180 miles away. When we talked for the final time last night, I told her that I would be praying for her, praying that she would feel better soon. I took my phone to bed with me and, to be honest, I also prayed that she wouldn't call me in the middle of the night. I prayed that she would be able to sleep without having to make a mad dash to the bathroom and that she would be able to sleep without pain.
Today wasn't an easy day for M, but she did go to her classes and she was also able to meet with two students that she's supervising. Finally when she called me this evening, her voice was stronger and she was starting to sound like herself again. The pain and fear was gone and, more than anything, she just sounded tired.
I wish that M didn't have to go through these unexpected and debilitating bouts of sickness. If I could be sick in her place, I would do it. I can only hope that somehow God is using these times of weakness and pain to bring M closer to Him, to show her that His power is made perfect in weakness and remind her that He will never leave her or forsake her.
It would be wonderful if M would never have to deal with this issue again, but, given her past history, that seems unlikely. In this moment, I am so thankful that M is feeling better and I pray with a grateful and trusting heart that the Lord will continue to keep His loving and healing hand upon her.
I hate feeling so helpless when she calls me in tears, especially when she can barely summon the energy to talk to me on the phone and all I can do is offer suggestions and support from 180 miles away. When we talked for the final time last night, I told her that I would be praying for her, praying that she would feel better soon. I took my phone to bed with me and, to be honest, I also prayed that she wouldn't call me in the middle of the night. I prayed that she would be able to sleep without having to make a mad dash to the bathroom and that she would be able to sleep without pain.
Today wasn't an easy day for M, but she did go to her classes and she was also able to meet with two students that she's supervising. Finally when she called me this evening, her voice was stronger and she was starting to sound like herself again. The pain and fear was gone and, more than anything, she just sounded tired.
I wish that M didn't have to go through these unexpected and debilitating bouts of sickness. If I could be sick in her place, I would do it. I can only hope that somehow God is using these times of weakness and pain to bring M closer to Him, to show her that His power is made perfect in weakness and remind her that He will never leave her or forsake her.
It would be wonderful if M would never have to deal with this issue again, but, given her past history, that seems unlikely. In this moment, I am so thankful that M is feeling better and I pray with a grateful and trusting heart that the Lord will continue to keep His loving and healing hand upon her.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
40th anniversary
Today is the 40th anniversary of the Supreme Court decision, Roe v. Wade. It's certainly not an anniversary that I celebrate.
Monday, January 21, 2013
Music Monday
I hadn't heard this song for quite some time, and then one night, when I was coming home late from getting groceries at Meijer, it came on the radio. As I sang along, I had tears running down my cheeks. God knew I needed to hear this song at that particular moment.
LORD, I hope that I always allow you to shine on me and through me!
LORD, I hope that I always allow you to shine on me and through me!
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Feeling guilty
I was a crab this evening.
Maybe it was because I had to be on my best behavior this afternoon. Maybe it was because I am on day 14 of another PFH (Period From Hell). Maybe it's just because I am a not very nice person.
I felt sorry for myself because I needed to go to two stores to return items -- I was tired and my back hurt from having a period for two weeks, plus it was windy and cold; all I wanted to do was sit at the computer and veg.
The first return was a breeze. The second return was easy as well, but it all went south when I asked the woman at Guest Services (ha!) for a price adjustment for the $2.00 I had been overcharged on an item I had purchased the evening before.
It seems so simple. Store T charged me $17.99 for an item that was ticketed at $15.99 on their shelves. Refund me $2.00, less the 5% discount I get because I spend way too freaking much of my husband's hard-earned money at Store T, less the 50 cent store cash register generated coupon I redeemed for the item.
Silly me. Store T's team member informed me she couldn't give me a refund for the overcharge. She asked someone else and they said the same thing. Even though the item was on the shelf for $15.99, the item is listed as $17.99 in their system -- computer trumps customer and/or any semblance of customer service. The employee didn't even believe me that the tag on the shelf said $15.99. Go ahead, call me a liar. The only suggestion the Guest Services (as if!) woman had for me was to go home and get the item and then return it if I didn't want to pay the price they were charging.
Muttering (mostly) to myself, I stormed off to look at men's socks. I couldn't find any socks that I thought G would like, and as I futilely searched, I grew more and more ticked at the lack of customer service and basic respect I had received. D*mnit, I wasn't going to be pushed to the side that easily.
I went back up to Guest Services (what a lie!) and told the woman that I didn't want to be any more disagreeable than I had already been, but I was really not happy with the lack of customer service she had shown me. I asked her if someone would be willing to go look at the shelf to verify that I was only asking for what I was entitled too, nothing more. She obviously wasn't willing to go herself or even pick up the walkie and ask another team member to look for her. I could feel my face growing redder and my blood pressure escalating. Arrrgh.
Just then another team member came into the Guest Services area and my unhelpful associate asked her about my "unreasonable" request. This woman agreed that she could find a way around the pesky computer system. She offered to refund me $17.99, less my 5% Store T loyalty card discount, and less the 50 cent off store-generated coupon I had redeemed last night. Then she would charge me $15.99, less my 5% discount, BUT she could not (would not?) give me the 50 cents off for the coupon I had used last night . . . wait for it . . . because I had used it last night.
How incredibly stupid. If only I had known that I was going to be overcharged, I would have saved my coupon for tonight. I personally have witnessed cashiers overriding the system when coupons won't scan or if the system refuses to acknowledge that the customer has indeed purchased the requisite item to qualify for the price reduction. All this team member needed to do was manually enter a 50 cent store coupon code into the register. But she wouldn't do it. Before I left, felt that I needed to point out to her that I felt it was unfair to penalize me for what was clearly Store T's error. I said, "I hope you can see that all of this has totally negated the benefit of using a coupon." She said she was sorry, but to be honest, I didn't believe her.
So as I left the store, muttering (yes, again) about how unfair Store T was, I managed to dump all of my credit cards, drivers license, insurance cards, and other assorted receipts on the floor in full view of everyone in the check out area. Arrrgh.
Maybe it was because I had to be on my best behavior this afternoon. Maybe it was because I am on day 14 of another PFH (Period From Hell). Maybe it's just because I am a not very nice person.
I felt sorry for myself because I needed to go to two stores to return items -- I was tired and my back hurt from having a period for two weeks, plus it was windy and cold; all I wanted to do was sit at the computer and veg.
The first return was a breeze. The second return was easy as well, but it all went south when I asked the woman at Guest Services (ha!) for a price adjustment for the $2.00 I had been overcharged on an item I had purchased the evening before.
It seems so simple. Store T charged me $17.99 for an item that was ticketed at $15.99 on their shelves. Refund me $2.00, less the 5% discount I get because I spend way too freaking much of my husband's hard-earned money at Store T, less the 50 cent store cash register generated coupon I redeemed for the item.
Silly me. Store T's team member informed me she couldn't give me a refund for the overcharge. She asked someone else and they said the same thing. Even though the item was on the shelf for $15.99, the item is listed as $17.99 in their system -- computer trumps customer and/or any semblance of customer service. The employee didn't even believe me that the tag on the shelf said $15.99. Go ahead, call me a liar. The only suggestion the Guest Services (as if!) woman had for me was to go home and get the item and then return it if I didn't want to pay the price they were charging.
Muttering (mostly) to myself, I stormed off to look at men's socks. I couldn't find any socks that I thought G would like, and as I futilely searched, I grew more and more ticked at the lack of customer service and basic respect I had received. D*mnit, I wasn't going to be pushed to the side that easily.
I went back up to Guest Services (what a lie!) and told the woman that I didn't want to be any more disagreeable than I had already been, but I was really not happy with the lack of customer service she had shown me. I asked her if someone would be willing to go look at the shelf to verify that I was only asking for what I was entitled too, nothing more. She obviously wasn't willing to go herself or even pick up the walkie and ask another team member to look for her. I could feel my face growing redder and my blood pressure escalating. Arrrgh.
Just then another team member came into the Guest Services area and my unhelpful associate asked her about my "unreasonable" request. This woman agreed that she could find a way around the pesky computer system. She offered to refund me $17.99, less my 5% Store T loyalty card discount, and less the 50 cent off store-generated coupon I had redeemed last night. Then she would charge me $15.99, less my 5% discount, BUT she could not (would not?) give me the 50 cents off for the coupon I had used last night . . . wait for it . . . because I had used it last night.
How incredibly stupid. If only I had known that I was going to be overcharged, I would have saved my coupon for tonight. I personally have witnessed cashiers overriding the system when coupons won't scan or if the system refuses to acknowledge that the customer has indeed purchased the requisite item to qualify for the price reduction. All this team member needed to do was manually enter a 50 cent store coupon code into the register. But she wouldn't do it. Before I left, felt that I needed to point out to her that I felt it was unfair to penalize me for what was clearly Store T's error. I said, "I hope you can see that all of this has totally negated the benefit of using a coupon." She said she was sorry, but to be honest, I didn't believe her.
So as I left the store, muttering (yes, again) about how unfair Store T was, I managed to dump all of my credit cards, drivers license, insurance cards, and other assorted receipts on the floor in full view of everyone in the check out area. Arrrgh.
Friday, January 18, 2013
Lifting the Veil
It's Friday, and with a title like "Lifting the Veil" you would think I was going to rag talk about Say Yes to the Dress or one of the other bridal shows I watch. But, you would be wrong. I'm referring to a different veil altogether.
On my way home from Target (yes, Target -- I hadn't been there since last Saturday, almost an entire week!) I heard a well-known radio teacher speaking about Moses. He said that when Moses first came down from meeting God face-to-face on Mt. Sinai, his face glowed with an unearthly light. This was because when Moses was in the presence of God, the glory of God "rubbed" off on him and he retained that shiny glory for awhile even after he rejoined the Israelites. But after awhile, the godly glow began to fade, and Moses started to wear a veil so his fellow Hebrews wouldn't notice that he no longer had a glowing countenance from his encounter with Yahweh.
On my way home from Target (yes, Target -- I hadn't been there since last Saturday, almost an entire week!) I heard a well-known radio teacher speaking about Moses. He said that when Moses first came down from meeting God face-to-face on Mt. Sinai, his face glowed with an unearthly light. This was because when Moses was in the presence of God, the glory of God "rubbed" off on him and he retained that shiny glory for awhile even after he rejoined the Israelites. But after awhile, the godly glow began to fade, and Moses started to wear a veil so his fellow Hebrews wouldn't notice that he no longer had a glowing countenance from his encounter with Yahweh.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Thankful Thursday
Just a few days ago, M went to the convenient care near campus. She had developed a sore that wouldn't heal and was growing bigger. Because of the location of the sore, she was uncomfortable when she erged or rode a stationary bike for Crew practice. Even walking around campus was somewhat painful.
I had encouraged her to consider going to the convenient care when she first told me about her problem, and she finally had to agree that it would be a good idea to see a doctor. In the back of my mind I was worried that she might have a serious infection or, if left untreated, she could develop a serious infection. Still, it was a little bit unnerving when she called to say that the doctor was going to test to make sure she didn't have MRSA.
Yikes! Yes, MRSA had crossed my mind, but I was hoping that the doctor would totally discount that possibility. But those doctors, they don't go through a gazillion years of medical school for nothing -- M's doctor wanted to be thorough. And I'm glad that he was.
I am very thankful that M did not have MRSA. A nurse from the convenient care called to let her know that she should still continue to take the oral and topical antibiotics that had been prescribed, even though she was MRSA-free. Hopefully M's sore will heal quickly and she will be able to get back to practice soon.
I had encouraged her to consider going to the convenient care when she first told me about her problem, and she finally had to agree that it would be a good idea to see a doctor. In the back of my mind I was worried that she might have a serious infection or, if left untreated, she could develop a serious infection. Still, it was a little bit unnerving when she called to say that the doctor was going to test to make sure she didn't have MRSA.
Yikes! Yes, MRSA had crossed my mind, but I was hoping that the doctor would totally discount that possibility. But those doctors, they don't go through a gazillion years of medical school for nothing -- M's doctor wanted to be thorough. And I'm glad that he was.
I am very thankful that M did not have MRSA. A nurse from the convenient care called to let her know that she should still continue to take the oral and topical antibiotics that had been prescribed, even though she was MRSA-free. Hopefully M's sore will heal quickly and she will be able to get back to practice soon.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Sunday, January 13, 2013
A sad realization
Tonight I looked in the mirror and was dismayed to discover that I look uncomfortably like Honey Boo Boo's mother.
Sadly, that discovery did not dissuade me from having a bowl of ice cream with chocolate sauce.
There is no hope for me. : //
Sadly, that discovery did not dissuade me from having a bowl of ice cream with chocolate sauce.
There is no hope for me. : //
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Quote of the Day
"I may be old and overweight but I'm not stupid."
~ Lisa, from the comment board of a fashion blog
I wish I had the nerve to have this quote put on a tee shirt or a button I could wear when I'm out and about. Maybe it would make all the 20-something, anorexic cashiers at Starbucks and elsewhere think before they pull their not so subtle superior attitude and discrimination cr*p on the over 50, plus size women who patronize their business and insure they have a job.
~ Lisa, from the comment board of a fashion blog
I wish I had the nerve to have this quote put on a tee shirt or a button I could wear when I'm out and about. Maybe it would make all the 20-something, anorexic cashiers at Starbucks and elsewhere think before they pull their not so subtle superior attitude and discrimination cr*p on the over 50, plus size women who patronize their business and insure they have a job.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Music Monday
Last night I watched a 2 1/2 hour Eric Clapton concert . . . and I don't really even like Clapton all that much.
I do like Layla, both the original and newer acoustic version. I have heard Clapton play the acoustic version a little slower and more soulfully than he does in this video, but both have the cool syncopation. It sort of makes sense that the faster Layla is from Clapton's youth and the slower Layla is a product of his middle age.
As an interesting side note, one of K's friends had a baby a few months ago and named her Layla after the title of one of Eric Clapton's most famous songs. Pretty cool.
I do like Layla, both the original and newer acoustic version. I have heard Clapton play the acoustic version a little slower and more soulfully than he does in this video, but both have the cool syncopation. It sort of makes sense that the faster Layla is from Clapton's youth and the slower Layla is a product of his middle age.
As an interesting side note, one of K's friends had a baby a few months ago and named her Layla after the title of one of Eric Clapton's most famous songs. Pretty cool.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Sunday sermon
With the exception of last Sunday, I have spent most Sunday mornings at home, listening to my church's worship service broadcast over the the internet. A few months ago I decided to start taking sermon notes on my computer. I've found that it helps me to focus, rather than being distracted by all the "shiny" things in my family room.
Today the sermon was preached by the president of the Moody Bible Institute in Chicago. The sermon text was Judges 4, which on the face of it might seem like an odd text to choose for the first Sunday of the new year. But Dr. N knows his Bible and he knew what he was doing when he chose this passage.
The central point of the message was "do not hesitate to obey God." Isn't that a great New Year's resolution? Dr. N gave examples from his youth of times when he had hesitated to obey his mother and the consequences that resulted from his hesitation. He said that sometimes he knew ahead of time what the consequence would be, but at other times, he didn't know until it was too late just how much his hesitation would cost him. And so it is when we choose to hesitate in a matter where God has made His will clear.
In Judges 4, Barak knew that God wanted him to act immediately when the prophetess and judge, Deborah, gave him his marching orders to draw out Sisera. But Barak questioned and tested Deborah. Her prophecy had told him exactly what to do and assured him that God had promised to give him victory over his foes if he obeyed. Yet, Barak hesitated before he finally obeyed.
On the day of battle, Barak's men did indeed defeat the mighty army of Sisera, in spite of being outmatched by Sisera's 900 chariots of iron. But Sisera escaped and ran away to the supposed safety of an ally's tent. Barak pursued him and tracked him to the tent. But what did he find when he arrived, expecting to deal the death blow to his enemy? -- Sisera, dead, pinned to the floor of the tent by a tent peg driven completely through his head. And who hammered in that tent peg? It was none other than Jael, the wife of Sisera's ally.
I have often heard the phrase, "Obedience delayed is disobedience." Dr. N didn't say that today, but he did say that when we hesitate (delay) to obey God, He gives the honor that He intended for us to someone else who did not hesitate to obey. Barak missed out on the honor of killing Sisera and instead, that honor went to Jael, a woman. That must have been a double blow to Barak's pride.
I thought this was an excellent sermon. My only quibble was with an aspect of honor (or blessing) that Dr. N touched upon. He didn't specifically say this, but it was implied that obedience should be our immediate response because God will bless us for it. I would respectfully submit that obedience should be our immediate response because God demands it of us and He is supremely right to do so. If God chooses to confer honor or blessing on us for our obedience without hesitation, so be it. If He chooses to do otherwise, so be it. Our obedience to God should not be dependent on what we will get out of it. We should obey God because of who He is -- the great I AM -- and our love for Him and a desire to please Him.
Today the sermon was preached by the president of the Moody Bible Institute in Chicago. The sermon text was Judges 4, which on the face of it might seem like an odd text to choose for the first Sunday of the new year. But Dr. N knows his Bible and he knew what he was doing when he chose this passage.
The central point of the message was "do not hesitate to obey God." Isn't that a great New Year's resolution? Dr. N gave examples from his youth of times when he had hesitated to obey his mother and the consequences that resulted from his hesitation. He said that sometimes he knew ahead of time what the consequence would be, but at other times, he didn't know until it was too late just how much his hesitation would cost him. And so it is when we choose to hesitate in a matter where God has made His will clear.
In Judges 4, Barak knew that God wanted him to act immediately when the prophetess and judge, Deborah, gave him his marching orders to draw out Sisera. But Barak questioned and tested Deborah. Her prophecy had told him exactly what to do and assured him that God had promised to give him victory over his foes if he obeyed. Yet, Barak hesitated before he finally obeyed.
On the day of battle, Barak's men did indeed defeat the mighty army of Sisera, in spite of being outmatched by Sisera's 900 chariots of iron. But Sisera escaped and ran away to the supposed safety of an ally's tent. Barak pursued him and tracked him to the tent. But what did he find when he arrived, expecting to deal the death blow to his enemy? -- Sisera, dead, pinned to the floor of the tent by a tent peg driven completely through his head. And who hammered in that tent peg? It was none other than Jael, the wife of Sisera's ally.
I have often heard the phrase, "Obedience delayed is disobedience." Dr. N didn't say that today, but he did say that when we hesitate (delay) to obey God, He gives the honor that He intended for us to someone else who did not hesitate to obey. Barak missed out on the honor of killing Sisera and instead, that honor went to Jael, a woman. That must have been a double blow to Barak's pride.
I thought this was an excellent sermon. My only quibble was with an aspect of honor (or blessing) that Dr. N touched upon. He didn't specifically say this, but it was implied that obedience should be our immediate response because God will bless us for it. I would respectfully submit that obedience should be our immediate response because God demands it of us and He is supremely right to do so. If God chooses to confer honor or blessing on us for our obedience without hesitation, so be it. If He chooses to do otherwise, so be it. Our obedience to God should not be dependent on what we will get out of it. We should obey God because of who He is -- the great I AM -- and our love for Him and a desire to please Him.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Quiet
It's quiet at my house. On Wednesday, M went to spend a few days with K, and today she and a roommate are heading back to school.
It's not that it was noisy in our home for the two weeks M was with us. Most of the time she stayed in her room -- she slept A LOT. She also watched a lot of Hulu and stuff on her laptop and talked or texted with her bf. In some ways it was as if she really wasn't even here.
In the mornings she would run with G, take a shower and go back to bed. I usually didn't see her until late afternoon. We went shopping a few times, but that was the extent of our interaction. All in all it was a really weird Christmas break.
I was looking forward to M's time at home because she would be someone for me to talk with . . . except she never really talked to me. The conversations and time together I was anticipating never materialized. Sadly, it seems she is becoming more and more like G: distant, insular, wrapped up in her own interests and concerns. I wonder if she's like this with others, or is it just me?
It's not that it was noisy in our home for the two weeks M was with us. Most of the time she stayed in her room -- she slept A LOT. She also watched a lot of Hulu and stuff on her laptop and talked or texted with her bf. In some ways it was as if she really wasn't even here.
In the mornings she would run with G, take a shower and go back to bed. I usually didn't see her until late afternoon. We went shopping a few times, but that was the extent of our interaction. All in all it was a really weird Christmas break.
I was looking forward to M's time at home because she would be someone for me to talk with . . . except she never really talked to me. The conversations and time together I was anticipating never materialized. Sadly, it seems she is becoming more and more like G: distant, insular, wrapped up in her own interests and concerns. I wonder if she's like this with others, or is it just me?
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Thankful Thursday
First Thankful Thursday of 2013!
I am thankful for:
K's willingness to host her sister and a college roommate for a few days at her apartment in the city.
A lack of snow -- I hate snow.
My family who loves me in spite of my quirks and flaws.
G's optimistic outlook on life and the circumstances we're facing.
My mom's good experience singing with the church choir.
N's fellowship in neuropsychology that will start this fall.
E's good attitude about being unemployed . . . still.
M's ability to move on from disappointment.
One of my goals for 2013 is to be aware each day of the blessings God has given to me and my family. Thankfulness isn't just for Thursdays! : )
I am thankful for:
K's willingness to host her sister and a college roommate for a few days at her apartment in the city.
A lack of snow -- I hate snow.
My family who loves me in spite of my quirks and flaws.
G's optimistic outlook on life and the circumstances we're facing.
My mom's good experience singing with the church choir.
N's fellowship in neuropsychology that will start this fall.
E's good attitude about being unemployed . . . still.
M's ability to move on from disappointment.
One of my goals for 2013 is to be aware each day of the blessings God has given to me and my family. Thankfulness isn't just for Thursdays! : )
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Meh
January 2nd. Two days into 2013; two less than great days in a row.
Today we found out that our "pre-approved" buyers didn't qualify for a mortgage. Gee, what part of pre-approved am I misunderstanding? Our lawyer was pretty mystified. The buyers were getting a $15,000 grant to use as a down payment, plus they were also getting money from family members. We figure that at most, they were probably going to mortgage $60,000 with the price concessions we were giving them. Some people pay more than that for a car they finance for five years, let alone a 30-year home mortgage.
Needless to say, we were pretty disappointed. We had really busted our b*tts before Christmas to get things ready for a closing that never happened. And now we're back to square one with a house we can't afford to maintain and no buyers in sight.
It's hard to not be angry or discouraged. But those feelings are energy-sappers and I barely have any energy as it is. I have to trust that we will find a buyer, trust God that He will work everything out better than we could ever imagine.
Two days into 2013 -- I need to trust God more.
Today we found out that our "pre-approved" buyers didn't qualify for a mortgage. Gee, what part of pre-approved am I misunderstanding? Our lawyer was pretty mystified. The buyers were getting a $15,000 grant to use as a down payment, plus they were also getting money from family members. We figure that at most, they were probably going to mortgage $60,000 with the price concessions we were giving them. Some people pay more than that for a car they finance for five years, let alone a 30-year home mortgage.
Needless to say, we were pretty disappointed. We had really busted our b*tts before Christmas to get things ready for a closing that never happened. And now we're back to square one with a house we can't afford to maintain and no buyers in sight.
It's hard to not be angry or discouraged. But those feelings are energy-sappers and I barely have any energy as it is. I have to trust that we will find a buyer, trust God that He will work everything out better than we could ever imagine.
Two days into 2013 -- I need to trust God more.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Happy New Year
Happy New Year? Not so much. I would like to be able to call a mulligan on today and start over.
We almost made it to the end of M's Christmas break without any major blowups on either of our parts. Almost. But today I said something in "a snotty tone" and "made her feel like a loser" so any warm and fuzzy feelings or happy memories she might have of the two weeks she was home are toast.
The bewildering part for me is that what I said was so neutral (in my opinion) that I was blindsided by her (again, in my opinion) out of proportion response. Honestly, I thought I handled the news that she got a D in physics really well. I didn't even sigh or roll my eyes and I certainly didn't yell at her.
What I did do was ask her what grades she got in her other classes. How could I have been so stupid? She interpreted the question to mean that I thought she had done equally poorly in the remaining five classes. Actually I was fully expecting her to say that she had done really well in the rest of her classes. And she had done well, A's and B's, which is pretty much what I would have predicted. I have no idea how she heard a "tone" that I don't feel I voiced.
Bottom line -- M insisted that I apologize for something that I don't feel I did. My attempts to defend myself were rejected and I was accused of interrupting and disrespecting her.
I am willing to man up and admit when I'm wrong. I am not one of those people who insist they are always right, even when they're wrong *coughMILcough* *coughSILScough*. But I will not apologize for something I did not do. And I don't want to trot out the politicians' disingenuous line -- "I'm sorry if you were offended by something I did/said/thought." How lame.
Tomorrow we take M to K's house to spend a few days before she heads back to school. I wish I could say that it would be nice to have more time together, but in reality, I am not unhappy that she isn't spending her last days of break at home. And when I admit that fact, I feel like the worst mother ever, especially when there are many mothers who would give anything to be able to spend one more day with their child who has died or who is estranged from them or is absent from their life for whatever reason.
I wish that I could do today over. And this time, I would hope to have the good sense to keep my mouth shut. : //
We almost made it to the end of M's Christmas break without any major blowups on either of our parts. Almost. But today I said something in "a snotty tone" and "made her feel like a loser" so any warm and fuzzy feelings or happy memories she might have of the two weeks she was home are toast.
The bewildering part for me is that what I said was so neutral (in my opinion) that I was blindsided by her (again, in my opinion) out of proportion response. Honestly, I thought I handled the news that she got a D in physics really well. I didn't even sigh or roll my eyes and I certainly didn't yell at her.
What I did do was ask her what grades she got in her other classes. How could I have been so stupid? She interpreted the question to mean that I thought she had done equally poorly in the remaining five classes. Actually I was fully expecting her to say that she had done really well in the rest of her classes. And she had done well, A's and B's, which is pretty much what I would have predicted. I have no idea how she heard a "tone" that I don't feel I voiced.
Bottom line -- M insisted that I apologize for something that I don't feel I did. My attempts to defend myself were rejected and I was accused of interrupting and disrespecting her.
I am willing to man up and admit when I'm wrong. I am not one of those people who insist they are always right, even when they're wrong *coughMILcough* *coughSILScough*. But I will not apologize for something I did not do. And I don't want to trot out the politicians' disingenuous line -- "I'm sorry if you were offended by something I did/said/thought." How lame.
Tomorrow we take M to K's house to spend a few days before she heads back to school. I wish I could say that it would be nice to have more time together, but in reality, I am not unhappy that she isn't spending her last days of break at home. And when I admit that fact, I feel like the worst mother ever, especially when there are many mothers who would give anything to be able to spend one more day with their child who has died or who is estranged from them or is absent from their life for whatever reason.
I wish that I could do today over. And this time, I would hope to have the good sense to keep my mouth shut. : //
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