The past few days have been crazy -- long car rides, a "signing" cat, power outages, gas shortages, insane heat, and the growing emotional weight of having to say good-bye to E and N on Tuesday morning. I've been near tears several times, but I've managed to keep it together, mostly because there's been so much to do there hasn't been time to cry.
It is going to be hard to hug E one last time and have no idea when I will see her again. I am afraid I won't be able to control my emotions and then E will cry (if she isn't already).
When she went to Europe with the foreign language classes in high school, I didn't cry. When we left her at Hope to start her first semester of college, I didn't cry. When she spent a summer in Austria and then worked at a camp in Michigan the next summer, I didn't cry. And when she got married and we said good-bye to her before she and N left on their honeymoon, I didn't cry. But this is different. This is the first time that she will be living somewhere in the United States where I won't be able to make a three-hour drive to see her.
I know I need to make the most of the next day that we have together and not look beyond to the time we'll be apart, but it's hard to not let my mind run ahead. I have to believe that God will give me the grace and wisdom to live in the here and now and trust Him for the moments to come.
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