I just watched one of my Friday night favorites, Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta. After several years you would think nothing could faze me anymore. You would be wrong. Tonight the show featured a bride that was so unbelievably dumb and crude, I couldn't help but believe the entire appointment had to have been staged.
Lots of brides change their appearance before the big day -- lose weight, get their hair highlighted, visit a tanning salon, have their teeth professionally whitened, or join a gym to get nicely toned upper arms. What most brides don't do is get breast implants. Most brides, but not this bride.
Dissatisfied with her perfectly normal 36B rack, this southern ding-a-ling (I can't insult decent southern women by calling her a belle) had her bustline surgically enhanced to a way more than ample 36DD. In her street clothes, she didn't look too bad. But when she tried on the low-cut, strapless, figure-hugging dress styles that she wanted to wear on her wedding day, she looked, and sounded, like the lowest class of hooker.
The bride kept saying that she wanted all the attention to be on her "boobies." She also said that she got them especially for the wedding so she definitely wanted to show them off. When she modeled the dress for her family that she ultimately decided to purchase, her crass comment showed how little emphasis she was putting on the solemn and sacred ceremony that would unite her to her husband. Posing on the runway in a deep v-neck gown with her "boobies" squeezed into a vulgar display of cleavage that looked like she had a pair of 16" softballs stuffed into the bodice, she crowed, "My ladies are comin' out to play!"
Really? On your wedding day, the day you promise to be faithful to one man for the rest of your life -- that's the day you want to show off the goods like a Kartrashian, that's the day you want to look like you're making a play for every man in the room?
I can understand wanting to look beautiful. I can understand wanting to look alluring and desirable for your husband. But isn't that what the honeymoon lingerie is for? Shouldn't a bride want to kindle that physical longing in her groom when they are able to come together and burst into flames of sexual intimacy, with no hesitation? And no bride should want to stir up any sort of lustful feelings in the groomsmen or other male wedding guests.
In many churches the pastor or priest stands one step above the couple as he delivers the wedding charge or homily and when the bride and groom recite their vows to one another. What self-respecting bride would want to distract or tempt the wedding officiant with the threat of a nip slip or Playboy worthy cleavage? Ugh.
Unbelievably, after rejecting some of the bride's early possibilities, her family was 100% behind her dress choice. I cringed when the bride's mom approvingly said, "I think her boobs look awesome in this dress." How sad that this young woman had been reduced to nothing more than a pair of grossly inflated, fake breasts. When the big day arrives, will this girl be happy to have her friends congratulate her with comments like "Wow, your rack looks amazing!" or "Damn girrrl, your boobies are the bomb"? Or would she rather hear "You are the most beautiful bride I've ever seen"; "You look gorgeous"; "You're glowing with happiness"?
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