Discouraged

Sometimes I feel like I'm making progress . . . like I have my demons under control.

And then there are days like today, when I know I am so far from anything even resembling self-control.

Why is it that I know what I need to do but I choose to not do it?  Why do I choose to give in? 

It all sounds very Pauline.  The apostle Paul wrote of his struggles with sin in Romans 7:14-25.

 ¹⁴ So the trouble is not with the law, for it is spiritual and good. The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. ¹⁵ I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate. ¹⁶ But if I know that what I am doing is wrong, this shows that I agree that the law is good. ¹⁷ So I am not the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
 ¹⁸ And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.^[d] I want to do what is right, but I can’t. ¹⁹ I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. ²⁰ But if I do what I don’t want to do, I am not really the one doing wrong; it is sin living in me that does it.
 ²¹ I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. ²² I love God’s law with all my heart. ²³ But there is another power^[e] within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. ²⁴ Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? ²⁵ Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.

I don't know what Paul's specific struggle was, but I can definitely relate to his description of the conflict between his sin nature and his spiritual nature.  Thankfully Paul knew the answer that would end his inner wrestling match and allow his spiritual nature to triumph over his sinful urges.

The answer is Jesus Christ.  The answer is always Jesus Christ.

Thanks be to God!