Struggling with silence

I'm familiar with, but have never read, the book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.  I think if I had written that book I might have titled it Men are from Mars, Women are from a Planet that Values Interpersonal Communication.

Counting back to when we first met, my husband and I have had 34 years to work out the kinks in our communication.  But judging by what happened yesterday, I would say we haven't made much progress.

Due to the blizzard, I had been housebound since Monday evening.  Though there had been several phone calls to my husband (in Florida), my kids, and my parents, I hadn't had a face-to-face conversation with anyone since Saturday.  I was really looking forward to hearing about my husband's experience at the conference and then regaling him with all the details about the storm.  My husband had other plans.

Looking back, I should have realized that my husband would be "talked out" after a week of interacting with his coworkers.  Additionally he was a co-presenter at one of the breakout sessions -- even more talking and huge pressure to make a good showing.  The last thing he wanted to do when he finally got home was talk.

But I wanted to talk.  I wanted to hear the news about people that my husband only sees once a year -- people that I've never met, but feel like I know from the many times I've heard their voices on conference calls or perused their family pictures in Christmas cards.  While my husband had been awash in a sea of faces and words, I had been stranded on a deserted island without even a "Wilson" for company.

It was hard to realize that after a week away my husband didn't feel the same deep need for conversation that I did.  The brief phone calls and text messages we exchanged while he was gone had been enough for him.  Three hours after he walked through the front door, he left to volunteer at an activity night at our church and I was surrounded by silence again.     

Today has been better.  Although he was gone most of the day, when he was home, my husband has been a little more willing to talk and share a bit about his week.  This afternoon one of our children stopped by and talking with her helped me feel more connected.

In the first half of next week I have a few get-togethers with friends, followed by small group Bible study on Wednesday.  Friday my husband and I are attending an event at which he will be at ease and talkative and I will definitely need to step out of my comfort zone.

It's quite likely that by this time next week I will be the one who is "talked out" and ready to embrace silence.  Hopefully my husband will offer me the same grace and space that I've been able to extend to him.