(ab)normal

Lookin' for love in all the wrong places

2012-03-10T22:46:00.000-08:00

This country classic was recorded by Johnny Lee, but somehow in my mind I associate it with George Strait.

Today I associated it with me. I was looking for love in all the wrong places. And if I'm honest, I've done the same thing not just today, but lots and lots of days for too many years to count.

So in a futile attempt to find love (or comfort or satisfaction [in the sense of being emotionally filled] or a feeling of being needed and appreciated) I left the house for eight hours.

I went to Barnes & Noble and bought a Starbucks mocha and a slice of chocolate cheesecake. I had this same cheesecake last weekend and it was delicious. This weekend it was just okay. In fact I really didn't even want to finish the whole piece -- it just didn't taste all that great. To be more specific, it tasted just fine, but I didn't find it to be satisfying. It didn't feed the "hunger" that I was experiencing.

I took my B&N treat to my friend K's house because I need to check on her cat, Booker, while she's gone for the weekend. I love her cat. He is beautiful and soft. When I first walk in the door, he's glad to see me because he knows I'm going to give him fresh water and more cat food. After I've fed him and start up the basement stairs, Booker races ahead of me and stops at the curve of the landing. I know what he wants me to do. He plants himself right in the middle of the large step and waits for me to lavish him with love. I am happy to oblige. Unfortunately, Booker isn't as eager to return the favor. In all the time I've known him (almost 5 years) he's only let me pick him up and hold him twice and he has never sat on my lap. So while I enjoyed being with Booker this afternoon, I really didn't get any love in return.

Before I went home, I needed to stop at Target to get bread and bananas. Instead I went to T.J. Maxx. I love to shop and T.J.'s is one of my favorite places. It had been a while since I'd been there, so there was a lot to look at. If only all I'd done was look. But no, I bought things . . . lots of things. Most of what I bought was for E, K, and M. I found work out clothes and also some tops they can wear to school or work. Sometimes I think I'm trying to buy my children's love. Other times I realize that buying things makes me feel happy -- in a way that I don't find happiness in other areas of my life.

I know it's wrong to try to fill the emptiness in my life with material goods, especially ones that I can't really afford. Most of the time I'm able to resist the urge to spend money I don't have on things that I (and my kids) don't really need. But sometimes the emptiness and desire to feel happiness and be "loved" is so great that I give in.

I'm looking forward to the day when I won't ever find myself lookin' for love in all the wrong places.

Gone South

2012-03-09T22:01:00.000-08:00

I've lived my whole life north of the Mason-Dixon Line, but at this moment, two of my kids are south of it.

M is in Clemson, SC for spring break training for crew. She left Purdue at 2:00 a.m. and after surviving a bus breakdown, she finally arrived there late this afternoon. She won't be back on campus until sometime on Sunday, March 18.

E and N left West Lafayette at 11:00 a.m. and they arrived in Salem, VA also late this afternoon. They are going to check out a house for rent and also look at apartments in the Salem/Blacksburg area. Additionally, they're hoping to do some hiking and get a feel for what life in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia will be like. Before they know it, they'll be on the road and heading back to work and school responsibilities on Tuesday.

I hope everyone has a good time and safe travels. It's hard for me when my kids are so far away, but I guess I'd better get used to it. June is just a few months off and then we'll be helping E and N to load up a moving truck and settle into their new home in Virginia. M should graduate next May (2013) and she's planning on going to graduate school -- there's no guarantee that she will stay in the midwest.

Life goes on and change happens. At the very least I should have fun places to visit. : )

Thankful Thursday

2012-03-08T22:13:00.002-08:00

It's a boy!

The baby from baby shower #1 was born on Monday (a week late). He was 7 lbs, 8 oz and almost 21" long. According to the e-mail I received "mom, dad, and baby are doing well." : )

I am thankful that little SJ has arrived safely. I wish I could tell you his name, but I have a no names policy with my own family, so I definitely wouldn't want to use the name of non-family members who haven't given permission for me to use/share their names. You will have to trust me that SJ's name pays homage to two godly Biblical men.

I pray that as SJ grows, he will come to know and love Jesus. May his life and character reflect not only the Biblical men who inspired his name, but also the love, grace, and mercy of Christ Jesus.

One of the saddest things

2012-03-07T14:57:00.000-08:00

One of the saddest things for me?

When I go to my facebook page and see both my daughter and her ex-boyfriend's photos displayed, one on top of the other, on the left side of my page under the "Friends" heading.

It's been two years now since M and T broke up and it still breaks my heart every time I think of the hurt they caused each other.

M always said, "I'm going to marry him" and I would downplay the remark by telling her she was only 16 (or 17 or 18) and that a lot could happen before she was ready to get married. But secretly I hoped and believed that T could very well be her future husband. I think I wanted M to avoid the pitfalls of dating lots of guys to find "the one," but I also loved T (still do) and hoped that the first boy M gave her heart to could also be the one man who would love her forever.

I wish we all could go back in time and relive those months from the last half of 2009 until the spring of 2010 and find a way for M and T to make their relationship survive and thrive despite the challenge of attending different colleges.

I wish T was still in M's life, still the love of her life.

I wish she was still telling me, "I'm going to marry him."

Confronting prejudice

2012-03-06T21:17:00.000-08:00

Most of the time I can convince myself that I am a tolerant and accepting person. But as a child, the family and the part of the community that I associated with were definitely homogenous -- no non-Christians in my family, no black members in my church. With the exception of school, starting in sixth grade, everyone was just like me.

There were definitely undercurrents (and sometimes tidal waves) of racism, classism, and religious intolerance in my segregated existence. I can distinctly remember a remark I heard my father make when Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated and even then, at the age of not quite ten, I knew that what my father had said was hateful and wrong. Based on that and subsequent experiences, I decided that I wouldn't react the way my father and others had. I determined to ignore the remarks that denigrated others in a misguided attempt to elevate oneself, and I made an effort to meet and make friends with all sorts of people.

And for quite some time, I thought I had been successful . . . until circumstances and situations showed me that I was wrong.

Slowly I realized that, in my heart, I wasn't really a tolerant or accepting person. I did consider myself superior to someone who hadn't graduated from high school, let alone graduated magna cum laude from a university. When my then third grade daughter told me that she "liked" two boys in her class, one black and one Hispanic, I wasn't thrilled.

Music Monday

2012-03-05T12:02:00.000-08:00

I've just realized that I should have named my Monday feature Motown Monday, since that's pretty much what I've posted so far. I do love Motown music. : )

Today's song isn't actually Motown, but it's has a similar smoothness and vibe.

Reality sets in

2012-03-04T23:04:00.000-08:00

It's been more than a week since E and N learned that they would be moving to Salem, Virginia and the reality is beginning to set in for me. While I'm very happy for them and very grateful that they won't be moving all the way to Seattle, I am sad that Salem is so very far away from Chicago, Decatur, West Lafayette, and Holland, Michigan.

We have been so fortunate to have E no more than three hours away from us since she graduated from high school. After she graduated with her bachelors degree, she could potentially have gone to graduate school in: Lincoln, Nebraska; Charlottesville, Virginia; Syracuse, New York; Mount Pleasant, Michigan or Athens, Georgia. We felt blessed that she and N decided to go to Purdue -- close to us, close to N's parents, and close to grandparents and other extended family.

Now the time has come for E and N to move farther away, and I'm struggling a little with the reality that I won't be able to hop in the car and visit with my kids and Penny whenever I want. The logistics of a 12 hour car trip require more than spur of the moment desire. I know that I'm not capable of driving for that long by myself, so most likely G will need to be willing to come with me if I'm going to be able to visit with them in their new home.

The big move is still a few months away, so I really shouldn't be thinking/worrying about this yet . . . but it has been weighing on my mind. I need to intentionally commit the whole situation to prayer and trust that God, just as He did with the internship, will work it all out for our benefit and His glory.

Orts

2012-03-03T22:35:00.000-08:00

Ort defined.
Good-bye Ruby Tuesday
Target parking lot
I want to BE love to you on Moody

The power of a sandwich

2012-03-02T22:00:00.000-08:00

Who doesn't like a sandwich? Good bread, yummy fillings, cold, grilled or toasted -- it's all good. Not only can a sandwich satisfy your hunger and fill you up, it can change your life.

Whaaat? How can a sandwich change your life? What kind of sandwich would that be?

Well actually two kinds of sandwiches can be transformational if they're made the right way and served with love.

Thankful Thursday -- losing it

2012-03-02T00:38:00.000-08:00

For some unknown reason, all week long I have been one day ahead. So in my mind, today was Friday, not Thursday.

For the second time in the past thirty days, I forgot it was Thankful Thursday. What is wrong with me?

In Bible study we have been studying some of the minor prophets and recently we spent two weeks studying Hosea. This book of the Bible is all about God's love and mercy for His spiritually adulterous people. Even though Israel has turned away and prostituted themselves with other gods, the Lord God loves them and desires for them to confess their sin and repent; He wants to show them His mercy.

I am eternally grateful for God's mercy in my life -- the forgiveness he extends to me when I really deserve His wrath. God's immeasurable mercy and Christ's willing sacrifice on the cross for my sins enable me to be welcomed into my forever family as a child of God. What could be better than that? : )

How about a Labrador?

2012-03-01T22:14:00.000-08:00

The big question for today is -- Did March come in like a lion or a lamb?

Unlike yesterday, which was both a lamb (early part of the day) and lion (late afternoon into evening), today was somewhere in between.

So maybe that means it was a Labrador retriever? : )

Leap Day

2012-02-29T23:15:00.000-08:00

It only comes once every four years, and today is the day.

Leap Day! And what a day it was.

Today the temperature was almost 60 degrees -- not unheard of for the last day of February, but still somewhat unusual for a month that tends to be the snowiest month of winter. In addition to the warmth, it was also sunny and very, VERY windy. (Three hundred miles away in southern Illinois there was an F4 tornado that all but obliterated a small town.) By the time the sun set, the temperature had plummeted, the wind was still howling and gusting, and it was snowing.

Crazy Leap Day weather.

Tonight was Senior Night at Purdue. Robbie Hummel scored 26 points. Lewis Jackson had 12 points and Ryne Smith had 9 (three 3s!). Together these seniors accounted for more than half of Purdue's 80 points in the win over Penn State.

Boiler Up!

At the beginning of the year I complained about this extra day. I'm sure the people who live in Harrisburg, IL and Branson, MO and other towns and cities that were affected by tornados and other adverse weather would have been happy to have skipped this day altogether. But for me, thankfully, it was a good day. I might even look forward to Leap Day 2016.

sigh

2012-02-28T21:44:00.002-08:00

I went to the grocery store this evening . . . in the rain.

I spent $38 on yogurt, fruit, fig bread, cauliflower, provolone, quinoa, and olive oil.

I didn't buy any chocolate. : / Of course, now I am desperately craving chocolate.

If it wasn't still raining, I just might get back in the car and drive to Meijer.

Darn you rain!

Music Monday

2012-02-27T20:13:00.000-08:00

Leo. And my name is (ab)normal.

Float On.

Inspiration, meet perspiration

2012-02-26T21:55:00.000-08:00

Well, I have the inspiration. Now I need the perspiration.

It's almost the end of the month which means I need to write the monthly thank you note for the non-profit that uses my services as a ghost writer. Normally the thank would be due on a Tuesday, but this time I need to have the note ready for Monday.

Instead of writing, I spent the evening watching the Oscar telecast with G. Now it's perspiration time.

This afternoon I had a very interesting encounter with a stranger at TJ Maxx in Wheaton. I hope I can remember all of the details until tomorrow when I'll have some free time.

Zzzzzzzzzzzz

2012-02-25T21:15:00.001-08:00

Today was an incredibly boring day.

Boring. Boring. Boring.

I didn't get up until almost 2:00 and if I had gone to the bathroom, taken my prescription, and then gone back to bed, I wouldn't have missed anything.

Boring.

Finally Friday

2012-02-24T22:13:00.000-08:00

The day finally arrived -- Friday, February 24, 2012 -- Match Day.

And the really, really good news is that N got a match!!!

Sometime this summer he and E will move to Salem, Virginia where N will intern at the Salem VA Medical Center. There is lots to be done and tons of details to work out, but for now the most important thing is . . .

Nate. Got. A. Match!

Thank you Lord!

Thankful Thursday

2012-02-23T23:18:00.000-08:00

Normally when I write the Thankful Thursday post, I'm describing a person or an event or an object (like my electric blanket!) that I love or that I find amazing or inspiring. When I've written about an event, it's always been something that's already happened.

Today I am giving thanks for something that's going to happen tomorrow . . . and at this point in time, I don't know what the outcome will be.

Tomorrow N will find out if he has an internship for the next school year. If he does get an internship, he will also find out where he will intern -- Springfield, MO; Charleston, WV; Salem, VA; Salisbury, NC; Chicago; Milwaukee; Seattle are his options. There is a definite possibility that he may not be offered an internship this year, and if that's the case, he will continue to focus on research and his dissertation, and then begin the internship application and interview process again later this summer/fall.

Needless to say, there's a lot riding on the news that N will receive tomorrow.

N, E, and I have talked often about all of the what ifs -- internship, no internship, close to family, more than 2000 miles away, job opportunities for E, the possibility that E might not be able to find a job, and on and on.

The one thing that I've stressed to both of them is this: before N filled out his very first application, before he went on his first interview, before he submitted his final ranking of preference -- God already knew exactly what was going to happen. Knowing that God is trustworthy and always wants the very best for us, no matter what happens tomorrow, we can trust that the outcome is God's will for N and E at this time in their lives.

So in faith, I am thankful today for what will happen tomorrow. I am thankful that as much as I love N and E and want the very best for them, God loves them more and He knows what is best for them. His will be done.

Humility

2012-02-22T21:54:00.000-08:00

Today is "Be Humble" Day.

I wasn't aware that there was such a day until today. So I posted about "Be Humble" Day on my facebook and included a Scripture verse. One of my daughters and one of my cousins "like[d]" my status post.

I guess humility isn't very popular. : /

But for believers, God calls us and desires for us to be humble. A humble person is teachable and submissive, not stiff-necked or proud. A humble person puts others first rather than pushing to be "ME first."

I know I have much to learn before I will walk easily in the ways of the humble, but I hope that my heart is inclined in the right direction. And thankfully, as is always the case, the Word of the Lord is my guide, a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.

He leads the humble in what is right, and teaches the humble His way. Psalms 25:9

For the LORD takes pleasure in His people; He adorns the humble with salvation. Psalms 149:4

Seek the LORD, all you humble of the land, who do His just commands; seek righteousness; seek humility; perhaps you may be hidden on the day of the anger of the LORD. Zephaniah 2:3

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

The reward for humility and fear of the LORD is riches and honor and life. Proverbs 22:4

For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted. Luke 11:14

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness and patience. Colossians 3:12

Humble yourselves before the LORD, and He will exalt you. James 4:10

Ugh

2012-02-21T21:51:00.000-08:00

Now I know how Darth Vader must have felt when Luke took off his mask/helmet just before he died. Vader wanted to be able to fully see his son (and for his son to be able to see him) but once the mask came off, he no longer had the use of the breathing apparatus/life support system that had enabled him to survive. On their own, his scarred lungs were too damaged to allow him to live for more than a brief moment.

While I'm not in danger of dying, I can't breathe through my nose, and I've spent the past three days breathing through my mouth like a demented fish. My lips are chapped, my eyes are watery, and even though I've slept a lot, I feel exhausted.

Two of the women in my Bible study small group are pregnant, so I've decided it would be irresponsible for me to potentially expose them to my germs, especially since one woman is less than a week from delivering.

Hopefully when next Wednesday rolls around I will be completely recovered and able to rejoin the fellowship.

Music Monday

2012-02-20T21:18:00.000-08:00

As proof of how sick I am, I forgot that today is Monday -- Music Monday.

This song is so smooth and fine. (You really need to draw the vowels out when you say so, smooth and fine.) When I listen to Smokey sing this, I can almost forget that I'm not 21 . . . and haven't cruised in years. : /

Sick of being sick

2012-02-20T20:45:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I've only been sick for two days, but I'm sick of being sick and I'm ready to be well again, ready to be able to breathe again. Last night I slept for almost twelve hours and only drug myself out of bed because I had to go to the bathroom. With that mission accomplished, all I wanted to do was go back to bed and sleep some more.

My cold is all G's fault because he was sick last week. Instead of being selfish like he normally is (not true, but I'm sick and I'm not thinking rationally) he decided to be generous and share his germs with me. Ugh.

This evening I found out that K's boyfriend is now sick with a cold. K said I gave it to him. Why do my kids think that every bad thing that happens is always my fault???

I hope I get over my cold quickly -- G is still recovering, but he is much, much better than he was a week ago. I also hope KC gets well soon and, most importantly, doesn't share his cold with K. : /

Just lunch, or more?

2012-02-19T22:29:00.000-08:00

Today G and I met our daughter K and her boyfriend, also K (so let's call him KC) for lunch. This was the first time we had ever met KC although he and K have been friends for 6 months and dating for about a month.

I have to admit that I was more than a little bit nervous. Since K moved to Chicago for college 5 1/2 years ago, we have only met one of the guys that she's dated (unlike high school when we met and knew all of her dates). It's not to say that during undergrad and grad school K dated hundreds of guys, but there have been several she went out with or was interested in on more than just a friend basis that she never asked us to meet.

This time around, KC asked to meet us. Yikes! I'm trying to not read too much into that turnabout. K has met his parents and spent time with them on a few occasions, so he probably figured that it was only fair for him to meet her parents. That makes sense.

We had a nice lunch and enjoyed some low-key conversation. It was a fun afternoon.

On the way home, unprompted, G said that he thought KC was nice, down-to-earth, and easy to talk to. Coming from G that is a ringing endorsement.

So we'll see. Was it just lunch or was it more?

When it rains, it pours: another baby shower

2012-02-18T23:04:00.000-08:00

Today I went to a baby shower for another mom-to-be in my Women's Bible Study small group. As far as I know, no one else is expecting, so this should be the last shower.

The guest of honor this morning, K, had been the hostess for the previous shower for E. In turn, this shower was hosted by two women from K's Sunday School class, so the demographic for her shower was definitely younger than it was for E's.

In fact, there were actually babies at this shower! Four babies to be exact. The oldest was an almost 9 month old boy and the youngest was a 4 month old girl. Two other boys were somewhere in the middle of that age range. The women of College Church are certainly a fertile bunch -- especially since there potentially could have been more babies if some of the young moms hadn't elected to leave their babies at home with the daddies.

The mom of the 4 month old baby girl was in my small group two years ago. At that time she was pregnant, but miscarried. She conceived and miscarried a second time before she and her husband were blessed with their beautiful daughter. The little girl is as sweet as can be -- a delightful, smiling child -- and her mother is so gentle and at ease with her.

This same mom also gave a beautiful devotion based on the opening verses of 1 Thessalonians. K likened Paul's depiction of the Thessalonians' work of faith, labor of love, and steadfastness of hope that was rooted in Christ Jesus to the task of a parent raising and nurturing a child with the goal and desire to see their child grow up to be an adult who strives to attain maturity in Christ.

The mom-to-be was very touched by the devotion and prayers that were offered for her, her husband, and their unborn child. I hope that this baby's grandmother, who was also at the shower and does not seem to be a believer, was also blessed to hear the words of scripture and the prayers of God's people on behalf of her daughter and her first grandchild.

It's just a matter of time

2012-02-17T21:02:00.000-08:00

G has a cold . . . again. He has been sneezing as if someone's promised to give him $1000 dollars every time he grabs for a tissue. He must be getting even more money for multiples because he doesn't just sneeze once and then again five or ten minutes later. No, he sneezes three, four, five times or more in a row -- one right after another after another after another . . . .

Now I'm not an unsympathetic person. I genuinely do feel sorry for G, but his sneezing is annoying as h*ll. If he didn't sneeze so loudly (and sooo often) it wouldn't be too awful. But he is a "sneeze big or go home" kind of guy. : /

I really hope that this time (unlike last time) he keeps his cold and cold germs to himself.

Thankful Thursday

2012-02-16T21:11:00.000-08:00

Today was a beautiful day -- sunny and relatively warm for mid-February in Chicago. It was a very pleasant day to be out and about, running errands and escaping the cold germs that G was coughing and sneezing all over the house. Had I been so inclined, it would have been a nice day to go for a walk outside, but let's not get carried away!

So today, I am very thankful for warm, spirit-lifting sunshine. Winter is so much more bearable when the sun decides to "go big."

The day after

2012-02-15T22:59:00.000-08:00

This is a goodie for the day after Valentine's Day. I heard this on the radio (Dr. David Jeremiah's Turning Point) as I was driving to Women's Bible Study this evening. Dr. Jeremiah was speaking about anger.

Seen in the swap ads of the local newspaper: Wedding Dress. Never worn. Will trade for .38 caliber revolver.

Yikes. That definitely reflects some anger, and I think most people would say that it is justifiable anger. Although the revolver might be a step too far.

Love

2012-02-14T23:47:00.001-08:00

John 3:16

Music Monday

2012-02-13T22:17:00.000-08:00

I love, love, love this song. Pretty sure I've said that before, if not on this blog, then in the real world, but it is so true. I really do LOVE this song. And, it's a perfect song for the day before Valentine's Day. A little warm-up of sorts.

Marvin Gaye was an amazing singer who, like Whitney Houston (from a human perspective) left this world much too soon. I can't think of a current singer who injects so much love, lust, and longing into his music. The vocals and phrasing are incredible, and his voice is sooo smooth.

So . . . Let's Get It On.

A look back

2012-02-12T23:23:00.000-08:00

This afternoon I checked out E's blog. She had posted pictures of everyone at lunch yesterday at Destihl. The pictures were great and I know when I look back at them in the future, I will remember all the fun of that day.

When I finished looking at the photos, I took a trip down memory lane and read E's very first blog post -- Christmas Day 2007. Then I read her posts for 2008, all 78 of them.

It really was a journey into the not so distant past. I remembered some of the events that E had written about, but others had faded from my memory. I enjoyed looking at pictures from weddings and family celebrations -- and I especially loved the pictures of sweet Penny as a little kitten. She looks very much the same today, not much bigger than she was when she came to live with E and N.

As I read through the year, E grew from a somewhat nervous newbie graduate student and TA into a confident scholar and instructor. Just as she had at GBN and Hope, she gave graduate studies her very best effort. And, she didn't just scrape by, she excelled!

Graduate school wasn't the only challenge E faced in 2008, as during that same period, she and N were also navigating the uncharted waters of their first year of marriage. I'm sure it wasn't always smooth sailing, but E's posts underscored their willingness to work together as a team and to stay on course. (Can you tell that N is a sailor?)

When I talked with E tonight, I told her what I had done and how much fun it had been to re-read her posts. While we were talking, she looked through a few of her old posts and agreed it was fun to peek back at the moments that she had memorialized.

I hope that as time allows, E will be able to go back over more of her previous posts. Some of them are funny and lighthearted, but others are more serious and reflect challenges that she and N were experiencing at the time. Re-reading and reliving some of those later posts could be similar to the Biblical concept of revisiting stones of remembrance. At the site of a great event, the Lord instructed the Israelites to build a monument of stones, piled one on top of another, to serve as a visual reminder of the way He had worked in their lives to give them victory over an enemy or triumph over a difficult situation. In the same way, God was at work in E and N's lives -- knitting them together as a married couple, growing their faith, helping them through illness, stress and uncertainty -- and E's blog posts are a testimony to His presence and action in that crucial first year of marriage and graduate school.

I'm glad that E decided to start a blog. I've enjoyed knowing what was happening in her and N's life -- seeing their pictures and reading their stories. And I'm very glad that she and N will always have this record to return to whenever they need to be reminded of God's love and care for them in the biggest and smallest details.

The very first blogger probably never envisioned all the ways that blogs would connect, encourage, and inspire readers and subsequent bloggers, but God knew that this new method of communication could be the 21st century technological version of the Old Testament stones of remembrance.

Surprise!

2012-02-11T22:38:00.000-08:00

And it was a surprise! I didn't think my mom and my aunt and uncle would be able to pull it off, but they did. When my dad walked into the restaurant, he had no idea that my family of six would be sitting at a table, waiting for him. : )

We had a really good lunch -- wine, appetizers, sandwiches, tacos, pasta, and dessert. Everyone enjoyed what they ordered and our server and his helpers couldn't have been nicer. When Joe brought out the desserts we'd ordered, he also brought out a special dessert (on the house) for my mom and dad to share since he knew we were celebrating their anniversary and both their birthdays.

It was great to be able to share a meal, talk and laugh and then not have to get up from the table and do the dishes! The restaurant was pretty busy when we got there at 1:00, but it gradually cleared out. It was especially nice that we never felt rushed to finish and free up the tables for someone else. In fact if anything, the service seemed like it might have been a little slow, but in defense, I think everything was made from scratch, and cooking takes time.

I'm glad the weather cooperated and my dad was able to ignore his aches and pains in order to come to Champaign for his special 75th birthday surprise!

Happy Anniversary! Happy 73rd Birthday, Mom! Happy 75th Birthday, Daddy!

I Love You!!!

Busy Friday

2012-02-10T23:59:00.000-08:00

It snowed today. Boo. And the temperature dropped, drastically. Not loving the subzero windchill.

Yeah, I knew winter was just hiding around the corner, waiting to pounce on all of us winter-haters. : /

It had been a long time since I'd done laundry so I forced myself to go to the laundromat . . . in a snowstorm. Then I had to go to Michael's and Barnes & Noble. By then the snow had stopped, but the wind was howling. Fortunately I was able to find everything I needed/wanted.

Tomorrow is a big day. G, K, and I are meeting E, N, and M in Champaign for a surprise birthday luncheon with my parents and Aunt M and Uncle D. My father is celebrating his 75th birthday in 10 days and we decided to surprise him with lunch at a nice restaurant. My mom's birthday is in 6 days so lunch will be a celebration of her 73rd birthday, but she's in on the surprise. Three years ago my dad gave my mom a surprise party for her 70th birthday, so she's already had her surprise. : )

I hope the weather has settled down by tomorrow. I really would be disappointed if the West Lafayetters decided that they couldn't make the drive to Chambana because of ice or drifting snow. Worse yet would be if my dad decided he didn't want to go along with my aunt and uncle on their shopping expedition to Bed Bath and Beyond -- the excuse they're using to get him out of the house and on the road to party time.

Hopefully tomorrow will bring sunshine, safe travels, and fun for everyone. : )

Thankful Thursday

2012-02-09T21:47:00.000-08:00

I went shopping this morning. Shopping used to be a fun experience. Actually it still is a fun experience, just not when I'm shopping for clothes, shoe, or bras for me. Then it is torturous and an exercise in futility. : //

Today was no exception. It took me over two hours to purchase a pair of dress jeans and a tee shirt. I should have counted, but I'm pretty sure I tried on at least twelve pairs of pants -- jeans, corduroys, dressy slacks, and boring basics.

After I tackled pants, I decided to try on some sweaters and tee shirts (because trying to find something to clothe my bottom half wasn't challenging and depressing enough). I had high hopes for a crew neck, 3/4 length sleeve, print cardigan, but it looked oddly like flowery surgical scrubs. Next I tried on a grey and yellow floral tee shirt. This was a better choice. But true to my growing OCD tendencies, I had to try on every one of the tee shirts that the store had in my size. I wanted to find one that had the best fit, but I was also concerned about the layout of the pattern. I normally don't wear yellow, but with this pattern, I felt like I wanted to have some of the yellow at the neckline, rather than just the grey background. So I tried on at least five tee shirts . . . multiple times. And every time I put a shirt on or took one off, my limp, electrically-charged hair crackled and popped and stood on end. I could have been the perfect illustration for a sixth grade science project. Ugh.

By now you're probably wondering -- where's the thankfulness in this mess?

Well here it is -- Even though this shopping adventure was frustrating and exhausting, I walked out of the store with a nice pair of jeans (that almost fit) and a pretty tee shirt. I am thankful that I was able to find something to add to my pathetic and meager wardrobe . . . and, even better, both items were on sale!!!

Winter is back

2012-02-08T23:13:00.000-08:00

Well, it's not snowing and blowing, but it definitely is winter.

Boo. I was hoping that the practically impossible would happen and the weather would stay mild. But no. When I'm honest I will admit that the temperatures the past few days have been extremely tolerable. I've gone out a few times and haven't bothered to wear gloves or a scarf. If I was going to spend an extended time outside, I would need to dress more warmly, but as it is, my winter coat is good enough.

So I guess now my new hope is that we manage to make it through the rest of winter without snow.

No more snow? Yes. We. Can!

C'est la vie

2012-02-07T22:31:00.000-08:00

There are good days and there are bad days.

This is a bad day. : /

On a day like today, the sentiment of yesterday's song for Music Monday means very little to me. In fact, on a day like to day, I feel as if Al Green is mocking me when he sings that song.

Here's hoping tomorrow will be better. Even a tiny bit better will be a huge improvement.

Music Monday

2012-02-06T23:45:00.000-08:00

I LOVE this song!

Al Green is amazing and this is a timeless song. I don't think I will ever get tired of listening to him sing this.

A few weeks ago President Obama sang a little bit of this song. I will admit he did a good job, but to borrow from Lloyd Bentson, "Mr. President, I've spent almost my entire life listening to Al Green; I know Al Green; you sir, are no Al Green."

XLVI

2012-02-05T23:37:00.000-08:00

Super Bowl XLVI -- Giants vs. Patriots.

Who did I want to win? I am definitely Team Manning. It doesn't matter if it's Eli or Peyton. I even like Cooper, the oldest, non-football playing Manning brother. Seriously, how cool a name is Cooper?

So needless to say, I was very happy with the Giants 21-17 win over the Patriots and their less than ethical coach and petulant quarterback.

I would have preferred to see the New Orleans Saints and Drew Brees on the field at Lucas Oil, but at least Brees and his wife and kids looked cute in that Chase commercial that aired during the game. Maybe next year he'll be wearing a uniform and holding up the Lombardi trophy when the Saints win XLVII at the Louisiana Superdome. : )

Now showing

2012-02-04T21:08:00.000-08:00

I went to a movie today with my friend, K. We saw The Artist and agreed that it was very good. It probably won't win the Oscar for Best Picture, but it definitely is deserving of its nomination.

I was surprised at how much I enjoyed an almost exclusively silent movie. I was also surprised that very little of the dialogue was communicated by intertitle. Sometimes it was easy to either read the actors' lips or decipher what was said by the context of the scene. But at other times I would have liked to have had an intertitle to make the interchange between characters more clear.

Best of all, The Artist has a happy ending. For awhile, I wasn't sure it would turn out that way. : /

Oops!

2012-02-03T23:02:00.000-08:00

Today is Friday. So that means yesterday was Thursday.

THURSDAY! I forgot Thankful Thursday!

There have been a few times when I've haven't been able to put up the Thankful Thursday post on time -- out of town, no internet, no power, etc. But I've never forgotten that it was Thursday, until yesterday.

So, a day late, but still thankful . . . I'm thankful that N's internship interview process is over. Yay, no more interviews . . . at least until the post-doctoral process gears up.

I'm pretty sure that N is glad to be finished interviewing. It has been a long almost two months: lots of miles on the Toyota, more than a few nights in hotel rooms (thank you to family and friends who graciously hosted N in Milwaukee, Seattle, and Chicago!), more than a little bit of money expended, and a whole bunch of stress.

Now all N (and the rest of us) can do is wait until Match Day, February 24 to find out where he and E will put down roots for his internship year.

Groundhog Day

2012-02-02T22:44:00.000-08:00

Yay! It's Ground Hog Day!

Here in Chicago, the official groundhog, Stormy, from Brookfield Zoo did not -- repeat, DID NOT -- see his shadow. So . . . spring is just around the corner!

Ha ha ha ha ha. It's February 2nd . . . in Chicago. News Flash -- spring is right around the corner and Governor Quinn is going to contribute his own money to wipe out the deficit in the State of Illinois budget. Next you'll try to convince me that Rahm Emanuel is going to do away with patronage hiring in the city of Chicago, or even better, the Chicago Cubs will win the 2012 World Series. Right.

Way off to the east, the Head 'Hog, Punxsutawney Phil, DID see his shadow. From what I heard, it was cloudy in Punxsutawney, PA, so I'm wondering how ol' Phil managed to see his shadow. I suspect what he saw was courtesy of the lights from the all the TV camera crews and photojournalists who were there to record his bogus prognostication. Take that Phil! I'm calling you out! I bet you were bought off by some ski resort operator in the Poconos or a snowmobile dealer.

Six more weeks of winter? My heart wants to stand in solidarity with Stormy, but my head says Phil, shenanigans aside, probably has the inside meteorological scoop. : /

A new month and an accomplishment

2012-02-01T23:39:00.000-08:00

It's February! We survived January without a snowpocalypse or a blizzaster. That's quite an accomplishment.

But the end of January brought another pretty amazing accomplishment. I wrote a blog post every day in January.

That's right. Thirty-one posts. Wow!

It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be; although, there were a few days when I was really digging to come up with an idea.

Having said that, I don't think I will attempt to post every day in February . . . but it is a shorter month . . . only twenty-nine days. Hmmm.

We'll see. : )

A staggering statistic

2012-01-31T23:29:00.000-08:00

This evening on the radio I heard that 7 out of 9 Christians have never shared the Good News of Jesus Christ with anyone.

Not a friend, coworker, neighbor, or family member -- let alone a stranger.

So what holds back the majority of believers from telling others about their Savior? Why are we so quick to talk about our job, our latest vacation, our aches and pains, but so reluctant to talk about the Son of God who came to pay the penalty for our sins so he could present us as acceptable before a perfect and Holy God?

If we truly believe that we have the Good News that brings light and life -- eternal light and eternal life -- how can we withhold that lifesaving news from anyone who is in peril of death and eternal damnation?

I know there have been many times when I had the opportunity to share my faith, but I hesitated and the moment was lost. Other times I can recall feeling either comfortable enough (not feeling comfortable is never an excuse to stay silent about Jesus) or bold enough to give an answer for the confidence and hope that I have in Christ Jesus.

When I consider that staggering statistic, 7 out of 9, I hope that I will be able to be counted as one of the two believers who shared the Gospel with those who needed to hear it, rather than one of the seven who remained silent, for whatever reason.

Hell is real and God is Holy. He cannot tolerate anything less than holiness; even the tiniest bit of sin is detestable in His sight. Only men and women who have been washed clean of sin by the sacrificial blood of Jesus will be able to enter into the eternal presence of the sovereign and righteous God of the Universe.

It's time to speak up and not keep silent -- the life, the eternal soul of millions of people and also quite possibly of someone you know and love is at stake.

I don't think she gets it

2012-01-30T23:41:00.000-08:00

Tonight M and I had "the talk."

No, not that talk. The one about money and credit cards and fiscal responsibility.

Foolishly I thought she knew a lot of this stuff already. I mean, she took Econ in high school -- don't they cover credit and APR and finance charges? I seem to remember that she did a unit where she had to choose a job, figure out how much money she would make, and then budget so she could afford housing, a car payment, food, and other necessities, along with a few treats. She got a B in the class, so I assumed she understood the general concept of earning, spending, saving and most importantly, living within one's means.

WRONG! WRONG! WRONG! Sooo wrong.

M's credit card bill is due on the 1st. This month the new balance she owes is over $600. Unfortunately the amount of money in her checking account is just a little more than $300. She also has a second bank account, but that combined balance in checking and savings is less than $50. Clearly she does not have enough money to pay her balance in full.

So, what should she do? What should I do?

M worked over Christmas break and she earned a decent amount of money, some of which is still due her. But basically she spent every penny she earned. She paid cash for some of her purchases and indulgences, but mostly she used her charge card. Now that the bill needs to be paid, her earnings are gone and the opportunity to earn more money is several months away.

I explained what most people have to do when their credit card balance exceeds their ability to pay it in full. She didn't say much, but I think she understood how finance charges would increase the amount of money she owed, even if she never used her card for another purchase. However, I don't think she had a clue how quickly her balance due would grow if she delayed paying it off.

What bothered me the most was M's assumption that her father and I would just pay what she couldn't. She assured me she would eventually pay me back, but I have to admit that I won't be holding my breath over that "promise." Several times this summer she wanted to buy something but she didn't have her wallet with her. She asked me to pay for the item(s) with the promise that she would pay me back. I have never seen any of the money that she owes me, and she has never acknowledged that she still owes me close to $200.

So tonight, against my better judgment, I did agree to pay the more than $300 that M owes this month on her Chase card. I told her that I would keep track of how much money she owed, and I stressed that her father and I would expect her to pay us back when she is working again.

I hope M does pay us back, but more than anything, I hope she learns to reign in her impulse spending and budget her money wisely. Even if the day comes when M has an ample amount of money, it would be nice if she was able to be responsible enough to live within her means.

Amazing!

2012-01-29T21:57:00.000-08:00

The Australian Open. A classic match-up: the two-time defending champion and world #1, Novak Djokovic vs. the reigning Roland Garros champion and world #2, Rafael Nadal.

I would have liked to have watched this match, but the time difference between my home and Melbourne is 17 hours, and I wasn't able to stay up all night. In light of the events, it's probably a good thing I decided to take a pass because this tennis match lasted 5 sets over the course of 5 hours and 53 minutes, ending at 1:31 a.m. local time.

That's right -- 5:53. Even my husband can run a marathon in less time than that. When all was said and done, Novak and Rafa might have preferred to have run a marathon because they probably would have been finished hours earlier. As it was, they set a record for the longest match ever at Melbourne Park and the longest Grand Slam final in the Open Era. I doubt if there will be many players who will be willing to sign up for the chance to break either of those records.

As luck would have it, I was able to catch the last two sets of the match this evening on an ESPN rebroadcast under their category of Instant Classic. This match certainly earned and deserves that title. It was a classic, a tight, well-fought battle between two very worthy competitors, and up to the very last point, it could have gone either way.

So Congratulations Novak -- three-time Australian Open Champion and overall five-time Grand Slam Champion. Well done!

Saturday

2012-01-28T22:23:00.000-08:00

The past two Saturdays I have attended an event with women from my small group. Last Saturday was a potluck lunch and today was a baby shower (see yesterday's post). Both were fun, but both also required me to be way more social than usual.

At the shower, the fun activity (the hostesses avoided using the word "game") involved advising the mom-to-be on important decisions. The questions we answered, along with my answers, are as follows:

1. What should E name the baby if it's a girl? Therese, nickname Tessa
2. What should E name the baby if it's a boy? Elijah (I had no idea that her father's name is Elisha!)
3. What should E do during labor to relax? Listen to music she likes.
4. What should the baby be for it's first Halloween? Jelly Belly jelly bean
5. What activity should E do to lose her baby weight? Swim and walk
6. What activity should E and her husband encourage the baby to do as it grows older? Play a musical instrument.

This was actually a fun game and it was interesting to hear other guests' responses, especially the names they chose. I'm pretty sure that E and her husband have already selected a girl and boy name, but they aren't sharing their choices with family and friends. They also have decided to wait until the baby is born to find out if they are welcoming a daughter or a son.

E's older sister is in our small group, so I know her, but it was nice to meet her younger sister and also her mother. I was able to chat with E's mom and she was delightful! She shared with everyone that when she had her first daughter (almost 30 years ago in a former communist country), the women in her family and her church advised her to take her time recuperating after the birth. Mrs. R is an avid cross-stitcher and one woman even told her that cross-stitching would be too strenuous after labor and delivery. This woman actually said that if she continued to cross-stitch, there was a possibility that her breast milk could dry up! I guess washing diapers and all the other baby care and household chores that need to be done, and won't get done if you don't do them (barring the presence of a mother/mother-in-law/fairy godmother), don't have an impact on milk production.

In addition to the game, we also enjoyed appetizers and desserts -- yummy chocolate-covered strawberries -- as we watched E open up lots of beautiful and thoughtful gifts. It was nice to be part of Baby H's pre-birth festivities. If all goes as planned, he/she will make his/her debut in exactly one month!

Oh, baby!

2012-01-27T23:56:00.000-08:00

I have to go to a baby shower tomorrow. Naturally, tonight at 9:15 I headed out to Target to by the baby gift.

The mom-to-be didn't register at Target, but the nearest Babies 'R Us (where she did register) is close to forty-five minutes from my house. I figured I could surely find something that would be acceptable at my favorite store -- a store that is also ten minutes from my house.

First I looked at infant clothing. I remember being grateful for all the onesies and sleepers I received as gifts when my kids were born . . . in the last century. Things couldn't have changed that much, could they?

Well, apparently they have. I found lots of onesies and lots of sleepers, but what I didn't find were appropriately neutral onesies and sleepers for parents who have elected to wait until their child's birth to find out if baby is a girl or a boy. All of the clothing I looked at was distinctively pink or blue.

What happened to the pastel yellows and greens? I couldn't even find anything in a boring unisex beige. Ideally I would have loved something with bright primary colors that would cheer up even the most colicky infant or sleep-deprived parent. No luck. : /

With clothes out of the question, I looked at blankets and "lovies." Great idea, but same dilemma -- with the exception of one blanket that was mostly white, everything was pink or blue, butterflies and kittens or race cars and lions. Seriously, does everyone know the baby's sex in advance or do people just wait until after the baby is born to decide on nursery decor?

At this point I was beginning to regret my resolve to save gas and mileage by shopping close to home. I wandered up and down the baby aisles, hoping for inspiration, when I spied the toys, rattles, and teethers. Yay! Every baby needs toys!

I found several soft toys that seemed as if they would be fun -- colorful and stimulating. Most of the toys featured different textures and intriguing sounds. I felt like I was picking out a cat toy for Penny! Crinkle, jingle, shake-shake-shake. These were toys that would capture a baby's attention and keep her entertained.

What captured my attention was the fact that every single toy I looked at was Made In China. : ((   I really wanted to buy something that was American Made. How hard was that? On this night, at this store . . . impossible. Rats.

To make matters worse, none of the toys were machine washable. I may be old, but my memory isn't totally gone. I remembered my kids' much-loved toys; they were sneezed, coughed, and spit up on with regularity. And on a regular basis, I tossed them in the washing machine and washed the snot, germs, and food away. These 21st century toys bore tags that warned against immersing them in water. That ruled out any sort of sanitizing beyond spot cleaning. Yuck. Additionally I didn't see any assurance that the plastic components on the toys were BPA free. And the more I thought of it, Made In China seemed like it was probably code for "most likely contains lead." Arrrrrgh!

Majorly frustrated and running out of time, I had just about decided to settle for a Fisher-Price monkey with a curly tail and a cute as a button nose that played a song and jungle noises when you pushed it, until it hit me . . . BOOKS! I would give the baby books. What. A. Great. Idea!!!

By now it was half an hour until closing time. I was going to have to choose some books with no dilly-dallying, no agonizing. Fortunately Target has a nice selection of children's books and especially baby/toddler board books. In a few minutes I picked out three board books that I think will please both mom and baby.

Why didn't I think of books first?

Thankful Thursday

2012-01-26T23:08:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow N interviews at UChicago Medical Center for an internship position. Tonight he's spending the night at K's apartment and in the morning he and K's roommate, B, will head down to Hyde Park. B will go to work and N will interview, gather information, and get a glimpse of what life as a UChicago Med Center intern might be like for him. This is his first interview with a medical center, so it will be a somewhat different experience for him from his previous interviews with VA facilities.

Even though we just saw N a few weeks ago when we took M back to Purdue, it was nice to see him again tonight at dinner with K. G and I drove into the city and we all enjoyed a nice meal at Birchwood Kitchen, just a two block walk from K's apartment. It was good to be able to relax, eat some delicious sandwiches, and listen to N talk about the interview process and the possibilities he and E have for his internship year.

I'm thankful that G and I were able to spend the evening with N (and K too). We love our kids and would love to spend more time with them, so we are grateful for the family time we had tonight! : )

Ready to be finished

2012-01-25T22:31:00.000-08:00

There are some advantages to growing older. At least that's what older people have told me and I believe them. I want to believe them.

One milestone I am actually looking forward to is the end of my reproductive lifespan. Unfortunately at age 53 and a half, I am still looking forward to the end of that no longer necessary physical function. I would like to think that I am really, really close, but my optimism and patience are wearing thin.

I know lots of women who kissed Kotex good-bye when they were much younger than I am now -- some a bit prematurely due to issues that necessitated surgery, but others just because it was their time. Admittedly genetics has a lot to do with how young or old a woman is when she experiences the transition from perimenopause to full-blown menopause. I'm pretty sure my mom wasn't still messing around with tampons and sanitary pads at my age. I'll have to try to remember to ask her.

As for me, I'm more than ready to be finished. : /

G'day mate!

2012-01-24T23:57:00.001-08:00

When greeting someone, most people say "Hi" or "Hello."

But "G'day mate" is what M will be saying in a few months. She found out today that she was accepted to Purdue's Sydney Internship Program and in May she will leave for seven weeks of study, an internship in occupational therapy, and fun in the Land Down Under! What a lucky girl!

When I was in high school, I was a foreign exchange student the summer between junior and senior year. Before I knew where AFS would send me, I dreamed that I went to Spain. But I really hoped that I would be chosen to go to Australia. In the end I went to Italy and it was great. Still, a little part of me would really have liked to have traveled to the land of kangaroos and koala bears.

Now M has that incredible opportunity. She will be the first person in our large, extended family to see the Sydney Opera House and the graceful Sydney Harbour Bridge. Who knows what adventures she will experience while she also gains practical therapy skills and insight into a different culture!

Happy New Year!

2012-01-23T20:54:00.000-08:00

Wait, didn't we do this already this year?

Yes, but today is Chinese New Year.

So Happy 4710 (or 4709 or 4649 depending on which scholar you follow). What's not under dispute is this is the Year of the Dragon.

Unlike boring New Year for most of the rest of us, Chinese New Year celebrations last for fifteen days(!) and each day has special significance. The first day is set apart to honor one's elders and everyone visits the oldest members of their extended families. Some Chinese workers travel great distances to find employment, but everyone journeys home for Chinese New Year and family is an important part of the holiday.

Tonight for dinner I had a Lean Cuisine dinner -- potsticker dumplings with rice, vegetables, and spicy sauce. I didn't realize that I was eating a food that is considered good luck and typically eaten during the New Year festivities. The shape of the dumplings resembles ancient gold ingots, thus they symbolize wealth. I'm not above hoping for a little bit of unexpected wealth. : )

Other "lucky" foods I didn't have for dinner are: spring rolls (good fortune), noodles (long life), stir-fried lettuce (good fortune), whole fish (prosperity), oranges (wealth and unity), red-cooked chicken (happiness and good fortune), tea eggs (fertility -- definitely don't need that), lion's head meatballs (power and strength), and barbecued duck (fidelity).

I suppose I could try to eat some of the other foods in the remaining fourteen days . . . just not those tea eggs.

On the first day of Chinese New Year it is considered bad luck to clean house. Whew, thank goodness I didn't clean today. Just to be on the safe side, maybe I should stop cleaning (hahaha) until the celebration is finished. That's probably a good idea, especially since I foolishly ate some leftover lasagna for lunch. I probably brought "bad luck" on myself because the lasagna had Italian sausage in it; Buddhists and many others don't eat meat on the first day of the new year. : /

Sleep

2012-01-22T22:20:00.000-08:00

That's about all I did today.

I woke up in time to go to internet church. I even managed to stay engaged throughout the seventy minute service. Sadly, that is not something that happens often -- a drawback to worshiping via the internet. : /

When G came home from bricks and mortar church, we ate lunch and watched the news coverage of Joe Paterno's death. Then I realized I had a nagging headache. So rather than medicate myself, I decided to take a nap.

And I slept. And slept. And slept. My mom called and woke me up. After our conversation, I went to the bathroom and then climbed back in bed and slept some more. I was obviously very tired. When I finally left my bed for good, I had missed the AFC Championship game and the NFC Championship game was more than half over. NBD.

Thankfully my headache is gone, but I wish my extended nap had also vanquished the cold that I feel gaining strength in the back of my throat. I guess I can't expect a nap to cure all of my ills.

A nice Saturday afternoon and a good reminder

2012-01-21T21:49:00.000-08:00

My small group got together for lunch this afternoon at our younger leader's apartment. We had a potluck luncheon, so we all brought something to share. I made lasagna. It was yummy. : )

It was nice to see everyone outside of the Wednesday evening Bible study. Once our study time is over, it's after 8:00 and most women need to get home to their families. That doesn't leave much of an opportunity to linger over conversation. Today we had time to get to know each other better.

At the end of the party one of the women, K, shared with me and the leader that her husband was pressuring her to stop home-schooling their son and return to work. She has a law degree, so she would probably be able to bring in a significant income. K said that they are more than able to live comfortably off her husband's salary, but her husband wants more. More money for more possessions and, even though she didn't say it, he probably believes, more security.

Listening to K talk about the struggle she has wanting to work through this issue with her husband, I couldn't help but remember and mentally compare when G pressured me to quit working so we would be able to have more family time. I resisted, partly because I liked my job, partly because a significant chunk of my identity was linked to my job, partly because I can be pretty stubborn, and partly because I liked being able to put my paycheck into my savings account every two weeks.

I didn't realize it at the time, but I definitely viewed the money I earned as a security blanket. For awhile my paychecks helped to pay off a car loan, but once the loan was satisfied, the savings account balance continued to grow until it reached a fairly impressive total. Occasionally G would want to use some of "my" money to cover an unexpected expense, and I am embarrassed to admit that I was less than agreeable. He had never withheld any of the money that he earned from me -- who was I to think that the money I earned was mine and mine alone?

But the bigger issue, the spiritual issue, was that I was clinging to this money. Not just withholding it from G, but also withholding it from the Lord. Even though I knew that the money ultimately belonged to God -- after all, He was the one who had enabled me to earn it -- I still foolishly looked at it as mine. And worse still, I put more value on the security that the money represented to me than I did in the unshakable security that God has given me in Christ Jesus. The Lord has promised to faithfully and abundantly provide for my every need; I could never depend on a finite amount of money to do the same.

I wish I could say that that revelation cleared up my misplaced trust, but I continue to struggle with looking to earthly, temporal means to provide the security that only the Lord offers. But at least my eyes were opened and God helped and continues to help me to see my sin in not trusting Him fully. I hope that He will do the same for K's husband.

Are they all blind?!!!?

2012-01-20T19:30:00.000-08:00

I love to watch the original Say Yes to the Dress on Friday nights. In spite of all the fingernails on the blackboard Southern accents, I also like Say Yes to the Dress: Atlanta.

On both shows, most of the brides choose beautiful dresses, but some of them . . . well let's just say it's hard to imagine just who would ever wear those gowns, let alone wear them in a church. See-through midriff, plunging neckline, so many spangles, sequins, and glittery crystals that it looks like the notions department of a JoAnn's store exploded on the bodice of the dress -- and that's all on one gown. Yikes!

Ugly design is a different issue than an appalling lack of taste, but both situations routinely surface. Unfortunately sometimes they occur in the same gown. One older bride (who really should have known better) chose a dress that looked like an insane riff on a shepherdess dress. The bodice had a plunging sweetheart neckline that barely contained her extremely ample chest. The icing on this tacky, tacky wreck of a dress was the pair of oversize bows, one for each b**b. Why a forty-ish mother of several children would look in the mirror and declare that the gown was "perfect" and "exactly what I want" is beyond me. She also said it was "understated" and "elegant." OMG.

When she walked out of the fitting room, I couldn't understand why her entourage didn't stand en masse and scream, "Oh honey, NO!" They must have all bought their taste at the same bargain basement discount store because her friends and family agreed with her whack assessment and even went so far as to say the she "deserved" this dress. Honey, if I were you, I'd look for fashion advice from someone else. These people are doing you no favors because their opinion of what you "deserve" qualifies as punishment in at least 37 states.

Tonight's "WTH is she thinking" episode also involved an elaborate dress. This gown had a lacy, see-through bodice with LOTS of bling. The dress itself wasn't that bad -- the shape was flattering and even the see-through detail wasn't as obnoxious as some that I've seen. But there was one design element that made me think that the bride and everyone in her group must have been legally blind.

The minute the bride walked out to the runway in the dress, I screamed, "She has pearl nipples!" I. Am. Not. Kidding. On the bodice of the dress, right where her nipples would be, there were two very large clusters of pearls with two even bigger pearls positioned dead center. And these pearly pasties really looked like nipples because they didn't lay flat on the bodice. No, they stuck right out, just like bare nipples under a thin tee shirt on a cold day.

I couldn't believe that no one -- not the bride, her dad, future MIL, friends, or the bridal salon stylists noticed the x-rated feature of this gown. Everyone thought it was gorgeous and exclaimed how much her deceased mother would have loved all of the glitz and bling.

Yeah, but would she have liked the pearly nipples?

Thankful Thursday

2012-01-19T22:08:00.000-08:00

The weather was a little dicey today. Good thing E and N hit the road early on their journey to Salisbury, NC. They left West Lafayette at 5:30, so they were somewhere in Eastern Ohio by the time INDOT shut down I-65. The roads were slick and snowy and there had been numerous accidents. Definitely not good. : /
Roughly eleven hours after they said goodbye to Penny and set off, they reached their destination.

Tomorrow N will interview with the VA facility in Salisbury. This afternoon he and E drove to the VA, so he knows the way and getting there on time in the morning should be stress-free. By shortly after noon, N should be done and he and E will be able to explore Salisbury at their leisure. I hope they find a really nice place for dinner and drinks.

I am thankful that E and N's drive to Salisbury was uneventful. There are so many things that could happen during a road trip -- from relatively minor things such as a flat tire, to horrendously big things like a major accident. I am also thankful that the weather wasn't a factor and I pray that their return trip on Saturday will be equally uneventful and snow and ice-free.

Wednesday post

2012-01-18T23:43:00.001-08:00

Wednesday post

First things first

2012-01-17T23:51:00.000-08:00

I think this is a great motto to live by.* Too bad I don't practice what I blog. : /

Bible study started up again last week. I have had the past five days to begin the study, but I waited until this evening, the night before Bible Study Wednesday, to even open up my new lesson notebook.

Why do I do that? Why do I put off beginning the study? At the very least, I could read the scripture passage so that I would be able to meditate on it until I actually make myself sit down to tackle the questions and applications. But I rarely manage that feat.

Last week the author of the study (and one of the large group teachers) strongly encouraged us to approach the study one day at a time. Each lesson is broken down into five segments, so following that plan would mean that I wouldn't find myself scrambling to start and finish the lesson the night before, or, even worse, the same day of WBS. One day at a time would probably also ensure that I would be able to get more out of the study because I would be able to go more in depth.

I've vowed to embrace the five day approach previously . . . and failed. And the very first week of this semester, I failed again. But week 2 is a new week. So we shall see.

I think the real issue is not that I do the lesson in one sitting rather than spreading it out over multiple days -- no, the real issue is that I fail to put first things first. I fail to make the Word of God and study of the Word of God a priority in my life. There are so many things I put first -- foolish, worthless, inconsequential things -- when in my heart, I know what needs to come first.

*An English major should say "by which to live" rather than "to live by" but that sounds so stuffy, albeit grammatically correct.

Not feeling it

2012-01-16T21:26:00.000-08:00

Mid-January -- time for the first slam of the year. The Australian Open.

Normally I would be all over it. But this year . . . meh. I'm just not feeling it. I'm not sure what the difference is between this year and last year, but I am only mildly interested.

Maybe it's a little bit of hangover from the college football bowl season and the NFL playoffs so far. It seems when I cheer for a team, that is the kiss of death. My allegiance pretty much guarantees that "my" team will go home with their collective tail between their legs.

I don't have a hard-core favorite tennis player, male or female, but there are definitely ones that I like better than others. And there are also ones that I really don't like at all. I hate it when I watch a match and one of the "ugh" players wins. It sort of ruins my day.

Having made that statement, I think it's fairly obvious that I am way too invested in the outcome of certain sporting events. Consequently, cutting back in the amount of time I invest in watching tennis or football or college basketball on television is probably a wise idea.

Hibernation, pt. 2

2012-01-15T21:56:00.000-08:00

Yeah, it's still winter. Ugh.

G is in Florida. Lucky him.

The past few days have been unbearably cold and windy, but tomorrow is supposed to be a bit warmer. I never left the house today. If I hadn't had to go to my in-laws yesterday, I wouldn't have left the house then either.

Before he went to Florida, G kindly told me that I didn't have to take the trash cans down to the street for garbage day tomorrow. Thank you G! Dragging the cans to the curb would have been the only thing that would have made me even open up the front door, let alone actually dress and go outside.

I am definitely not the kind of person who looks forward to winter for all of the outdoor sports that it affords. In fact I think I could easily and happily spend most of the winter without ever leaving the confines of my semi-warm home. Part of me wishes I enjoyed snow shoeing or skiing or other frosty outdoor activities, but I guess I'm more of a Snuggie and hot chocolate girl.

You can choose your friends . . .

2012-01-14T22:51:00.000-08:00

but you can't choose your family. That adage is an oldie but a goodie.

It's also wrong. If you're married, you presumably chose your spouse. And in choosing your spouse (unless he is a bona fide orphan) you were also choosing his family. I suppose some families might be a deal breaker, but most of us figure that we can either put up with (good luck) or even change (yeah, right) the quirkier aspects of our spouse's family.

This evening I spent over five hours with my husband's family at a belated Christmas gathering in a Chicago suburb. My husband spent the evening at a corporate get together at Disney World in Orlando, Florida. The only other member of my immediate family who was able to come with me to "Hawaiian Christmas" was K. I am so glad that she was there to provide moral support when I needed it, ie. was tempted to throw up my hands or pull out my hair.

My in-laws are so different than my family. I knew that going in to my marriage, but for some reason I really didn't think it would be a problem.

Was I wrong! There were a few warning signals during our 11 month engagement, but I dismissed them as isolated anomalies. Looking back, those warning signals should have been as loud as Robot in Lost in Space admonishing his young charge, "Danger, Will Robinson!"

Friday the 13th

2012-01-13T22:33:00.000-08:00

I'm glad I'm not superstitious . . . at least not very much.

Friday the thirteenths have never really bothered me. N proposed to E on a Friday the thirteenth -- 10/13/06. They contemplated getting married on Friday the thirteenth -- 7/13/07 -- but decided to wait one more day and go with the more traditional Saturday afternoon wedding.

My brother dated a woman whose birthday was August 13, 1959, but that year the thirteenth of August was on a Thursday, not a Friday. Still, every now and then her birthday falls on a Friday.

I suppose I believe any day can be lucky or unlucky. It doesn't really matter what the date is or what day of the week it happens to be. I think it's interesting that there isn't a corresponding "lucky" day, like Tuesday the 21st or Saturday the 7th. What's up with that omission?

Some people I know refuse to use the words luck, lucky, fortune, or fortunate. They say that using those words denies the sovereignty of God. I have to agree, but I still use the words. I tend to opt for fortunate more often than any lucky; I guess I think it sounds better, less capricious (although they all boil down to a definition that involves the element of chance rather than an intentional choice or direction).

Friday the 13th? It's all TGIF to me. : )

Thankful Thursday

2012-01-12T23:43:00.001-08:00

Thankful

How hard can it be?

2012-01-11T23:52:00.000-08:00

Bible study started back up again tonight. It was really nice to see everyone again and catch up on what's been happening over the holidays.

Originally my small group had planned to have a Christmas get-together after the study ended, but it proved too hard to find a date that worked for the majority of the group. Tonight we decided to have a post-Christmas luncheon, and one of the leaders offered to host everyone at her apartment. She said that she would provide lunch and all we would need to do was show up.

It was a very generous offer on T's part, but everyone agreed that it would be fun (and most fair) to have a potluck. The other leader said that lasagna sounded good and I told her that I would be happy to make a pan of lasagna. With a shocked expression on her face she said, "You actually make that?"

Why yes. Yes I do.

Seriously, how hard is it to make lasagna? Every box of lasagna noodles has a recipe printed on it. Even without a recipe it's a fairly simple layering process. The hardest part used to be cooking the noodles and then getting them into the casserole dish without burning your fingers, having them stick to one another in a gluey clump, and/or ripping them as you tried to separate them from the gluey clump. : / The advent of no boil noodles changed all of that and now lasagna is super simple . . . especially if you use jarred pasta sauce.

Years ago, I had a party for the ladies I worked with at Marshall Field's. I made lasagna and everyone else brought side dishes and dessert. It was a fun and relaxing evening away from the store and most importantly, my lasagna was a hit. I was pretty proud of myself when a woman from Loss Prevention, an Italian-American woman with an Italian-American husband complimented me on my lasagna. She said it was excellent and she wanted to know how I made the sauce.

You should have seen her face when I told her I opened up two jars of Prego. OMG. You would have thought I had confessed to serving a tray of Encore frozen lasagna. I half expected her to dump her plate in the trash. I don't know whether she was more appalled that I had the audacity to use store-bought, jarred pasta sauce or that her Italian taste buds had let her down so badly that she actually thought Prego tasted good. Another woman of Italian heritage also had complimented me and then was equally shocked to learn that the sauce wasn't homemade.

So to Prego, all I have to say is "Grazie*." : )

* This is humorous if you know that in Italian, grazie means "thank" you and prego means "you're welcome."

The calm before the storm

2012-01-10T23:36:00.000-08:00

We've been lucky, but our luck is about to run out. Tomorrow will be the last nice day and then . . . BAM! Winter is coming to Chicago with a mean attitude and a boatload of snow. : /

Okay, three to six inches isn't a boatload of snow, but it's a lot of snow considering we really haven't had any at all this winter. If I had my way, the upper Midwest would pretend that winter was just a huge game of Hearts and we would go nil.

Not going to happen.

I do understand that no snow or very little snow is an economic nightmare for snowplow drivers, ski resort owners and their employees, winter apparel and sports equipment retailers, and others who make their living off of cold temps and lots of the white stuff. Heck, even enterprising neighborhood kids lose out when Mrs. Hornsby or Old Man Jensen don't need someone to shovel their driveway and sidewalk.

Even so, I would be happiest without snow and I am dreading it's arrival on Thursday.

This evening I went to the laundromat to wash all of the clothes G will need for his trip to Orlando. He doesn't leave until Saturday, but with the storm coming, I didn't want to end up trudging around in the snow to get the laundry done.

After the laundromat, I went to Target. G asked a few things for his trip, so I decided since I was already out and it wasn't snowing yet, I might as well pick up what he needed. While I was there, I bought another box of Constant Comment decaf tea bags. I had just purchased a box of twenty tea bags a few days ago, but you just never know how bad the snow might be. I would hate to run out of tea and not be able to get to Target to buy more.

Both the laundromat and Target were pleasantly quiet. Apparently no one else is feeling the same sense of urgency to get things done, to stock up on necessities before the first major snowfall of the season.

I have a few more things I need to get out and do tomorrow. I'm pretty sure the stores will be a bit more crowded then and people will be filling their shopping carts with bread (bought that tonight), eggs (I have plenty), milk (buying it tomorrow when it goes on sale), and toilet paper (bought it last Saturday). Someone once said that, based on people's pre-storm purchases, heavy snows apparently bring on a strong craving for French toast. I would imagine that plenty of people also fill up their shopping carts with cases of beer.

I can always hope that the forecasters are wrong and this storm will bypass us, but sooner or later, winter and snow will arrive. If Thursday is the day, at least I'll be prepared.

Hibernation

2012-01-09T22:01:00.000-08:00

It's that time again.

Winter.

Yuck. I don't like winter, although so far, this winter has been incredibly mild. Tomorrow the high is forecast to be 55, which will be close to record warmth for January 10th.

But even though the weather has been uncharacteristically balmy, I still feel an almost primal urge to hole up in my house, drink cup after cup of hot tea, and sleep for hours on end. Last night I didn't sleep very well, but even so, I managed to sleep off and on for ten hours. I probably could have rolled over and slept for another hour or so but I needed to use the bathroom and I couldn't quite justify climbing back into bed once I'd drug myself out. : /

Saturday G leaves for a week in Orlando. If it weren't for a family event at his mom's on Saturday and Bible study on Wednesday, I would probably go the entire week without ever leaving my house. As long as I have an adequate supply of Constant Comment decaf tea, I could avoid the great outdoors for quite some time. : )

Once again, an unpopular opinion

2012-01-08T23:53:00.000-08:00

I've already confessed that I'm tired of hearing all about Gabrielle Giffords. It's probably horrible beyond all belief that I'm bringing that confession up again, especially since today is the one-year anniversary of the shooting that killed six people in addition to injuring Giffords and twelve others.

Even though what I'm about to reveal doesn't involve death, a politician, or patriotism, my opinion will no doubt be equally divisive as my feelings on the Giffords incident.

I don't like Tim Tebow.

Did anyone hear a loud clap of thunder? I don't feel the hair on my arms standing on end, so there must not be a vengeful bolt of lightning heading earthward with my name on it. Phew.

All joking aside, I feel like I'm risking the wrath of God and Christians everywhere by admitting that Tebow does nothing for me. I like the Denver Broncos, but with Tebow under center, I hope they lose every game.

I wish I could explain why Tebow rubs me the wrong way. I know some people think he should keep his faith to himself, but I'm all for Christians being open about their faith. Maybe my feelings are rooted in my religious background that tends to shy away from physically overt displays of piety like Tebow's kneeling. There were no lifted hands or loud amens in the First Christian Church of my childhood and the cynic in me still wonders about the genuineness of such expressions. Maybe I detect a bit of smugness mixed in with his humble demeanor? I don't know.

I do think the attitudes of believers concerning Tebow are what bother me the most. It's as if they feel that because Tebow has widely professed his belief in Jesus, he's entitled to win every game even though there are surely other believers playing for the opposing teams. It seems that a lot of these Tebow acolytes think their hero shouldn't have to face disappointment or defeat like every person, Christian or not. But believers know that's not the case. Scripture tells us that trials will come, persecution also. Tebow isn't exempt from any of the things that befall the rest of us.

All three of my kids competed in sports. For the most part they were very successful, but sometimes they lost. Sometimes they even lost because their opponent cheated. Those losses were especially hard to take. It's easy to be a good witness for Christ when things are going well, when you're winning. But it says a lot more about your faith in Jesus and your commitment to follow Him when things aren't going your way, when people aren't playing by the rules or the situation is unfair. I've always told my kids that people would be able to tell way more about them -- their faith and their character -- by the way they responded to disappointment and defeat than by the way they reacted to victory.

I haven't ever personally witnessed or read about an occasion when Tebow was anything other than humble in victory and gracious in defeat. So, I guess I have to take ownership of my opinion and admit that in this case, a twist on the old break-up line fits best -- it's not Tebow, it's me.

I see the moon and the moon sees me

2012-01-07T23:51:00.000-08:00

At 11:08 this evening, M texted me, "Look at the moon outside."

Okay, I'll go outside because it would be difficult to look at the moon inside -- at this point I'm envisioning the scene from Despicable Me where the shrunken moon begins to grow big again while it's still inside the spaceship, or was it an airplane? Inside would work in that instance.

Anyway, I went outside to look at the moon, and it was beautiful. It definitely looked full to my untrained eye, but upon checking the online full moon calendar for 2012 (who knew?), I discovered that the actual full moon will occur Tuesday morning around 1:30 CST.

Even though this moon wasn't full, it was incredibly big and bright and there was a distinct lunar halo. More internet searching explained that even though the sky surrounding the moon appears to be extremely clear, the halo is indicative of the presence of high, thin cirrus clouds, containing millions of ice crystals, drifting 20,00 feet or more overhead. When the ice crystals are aligned exactly right, our eye sees the halo that the sparkle of the crystals creates.

What makes all of this even more amazing is that no two people will see the lunar halo in exactly the same way. Even two people who are standing side by side will experience their own unique perspective of the halo. So even though M and I both looked at the moon at almost the same time, she from Indiana and me from Illinois, her view of the lunar halo was subtly different from mine.

And to think that all along I assumed that, aside from differences in time zone, when we looked at the moon, we all saw the same thing.

No laughing matter

2012-01-06T21:32:00.000-08:00

I've gently poked fun at this woman before, but it really isn't a laughing matter any more.

My mom called me today on her way home from Aunt D's house. Over the past year Aunt D has become more and more confused. It's pretty clear that she is suffering from some sort of dementia and it's becoming clearer that she no longer is able to live independently. Ideally Aunt D would have adult children to help her navigate selling her house and moving into a care facility, but her only son died more than 40 years ago when he was still in college. Her husband died almost nine years ago, so she is on her own, with only extended family to help.

My mom lives an hour and a half away from Aunt D, but she talks with her on the phone and visits about every other week. Her trip today was precipitated by a phone call from one of Aunt D's friends who felt that my mother needed to make a well-being check. Apparently someone had sent Aunt D an invitation to an 83rd birthday and Aunt D claimed she didn't know the woman who was celebrating her birthday or the woman's daughter who sent the invitation and is hosting the party. Instead of saying "oh well" and tossing the invitation in the trash, Aunt D was all worked up about someone who "couldn't be bothered to sign her name" to the xeroxed birthday invite. My mom tried to tell her that if she didn't know (remember) either of these women, it was no big deal, but Aunt D was concerned that these women wouldn't know that she wasn't coming to the party.

A few weeks ago my parents went to Aunt D's because she called and told them that the lights in her house weren't working. She turned them on but nothing happened, even when she changed the light bulbs. When my parents arrived, they realized that her lights weren't working because she was trying to use the furnace thermostat to turn them off and on. : /

I know what a strain this situation is for my mom and dad. They genuinely care for Aunt D, but when she isn't lucid, it is very hard to reason with her. Additionally my parents aren't youthful 50 year-olds; they are fairly active senior citizens (73 and 75 years old next month), so all of these 3 hour round trips are beginning to take their toll on them.

I have worried about the possibility of dementia as I age. I've even talked about it with my oldest child. She assures me that it's normal to not remember where you've left your keys. What's not normal is when you can't remember what you use your keys for.

Sadly Aunt D is at that point. I pray that God will give my parents the wisdom and strength to help Aunt D through this season of life.

Thankful Thursday

2012-01-05T23:35:00.000-08:00

In two days we'll take M back to school for the start of spring semester.

Where did the past three weeks go? It seems like yesterday that I was getting ready to drive to West Lafayette to pick her up, and now it's time to take her back. Even though our time together was short, there still are lots of reasons to give thanks.

I'm thankful:
M had her best semester ever at Purdue!
M was able to work at JoAnn's while she was home for Christmas.
M was able to see Dr. Zubair to talk about some of the gastro issues she's still been experiencing.
M seemed content to spend time with family instead of wanting to constantly be with friends.
for the most part, our home life was drama-free.

I'm happy that, when we back down the driveway Saturday morning, I will genuinely wish that we could have had another week with M rather than wishing her semester had started a week sooner. Our time together was a lot of fun, and for that, I'm truly thankful.

Karma's a b*tch

2012-01-04T22:20:00.000-08:00

Just a few years ago I was feeling a little judgmental of a friend. This woman's son was dating a girl that she didn't like. Actually, it wasn't so much that she didn't like the girl -- it was more that she didn't think that this girl was right for her son. It didn't matter that her son really liked his girlfriend, my friend didn't like her.

I can remember feeling that my friend was being way too hard on this girl, especially with the extremely critical and mean-spirited comments that she made about her lack of fashion sense and refusal to wear cosmetics. Although she would never admit it, I think it really bothered her that this young woman was very much the academic equal of her son, and perhaps was even more intelligent than him.

Winter

2012-01-03T22:44:00.000-08:00

Winter is not my favorite season. In fact, it is my least favorite season. Not even close to third place -- dead last fourth place.

This winter, December spoiled me. There was really no measurable snow and the temps were relatively mild. Only a few days were genuinely cold.

In a word? It was heaven.

Then 2011 came to a close and 2012 rushed in with a blast of frigid, arctic, Canadian air. Darn you Canadians! Keep your lung-crushing, ice-tinged air to yourself!

Tomorrow brings the start of a mini warm up. Maybe if the sun shines, I might be persuaded to take a break from my hibernation.

Something's gotta change

2012-01-02T23:58:00.000-08:00

Two days into 2012, something's gotta change . . . and I think it's gonna have to be me because no one else seems to be willing to meet me halfway.

It's time to change my attitude, my approach, my priorities. I don't like change, but in this instance, if I don't change, I don't think I will be able to survive.

Bad language update: I didn't swear at all today! That was quite an accomplishment since there were five football games on today and only one of "my" teams won. : (

2012 -- 1 day down, 365 to go

2012-01-01T23:04:00.000-08:00

So today went fairly well . . . until it didn't.

One day into the new year and I'm already looking forward to 2013. I almost cried when I realized that this is a leap year. I don't know if I can take an extra day.

I'm probably being a little bit overly dramatic, but not by much. This afternoon I read a blog post where the author was so excited to see what God has in store for her this year. I know this woman, so I do believe that she is genuinely eager for what lies ahead. Unfortunately I can't (at this point) share her enthusiasm.

I remember January of 2010. I was excited for the new year and I was definitely excited about going to Disney World in the middle of the month with G. The day we flew back home, the world that I knew and loved fell apart and 2010 went on to be the Worst.Year.Ever. Even the challenges of 2011 pale in comparison to the horrors of 2010.

Maybe it's a good sign (not that I believe in signs) that 2012 hasn't started off all that great. At least there will be room for improvement.

On a positive note, I only swore twice today. That might be a record. And I only swore once after the day went south, so I had a small degree of self-control in a crappy situation. That is worthy of at least half a gold star.

Out with the old, in with the new

2011-12-31T21:59:00.000-08:00

In just a few moments, 2011 will come to a close in the Central Time Zone.

I said good-bye to a few things this year:

* my gallbladder -- don't miss it, should have gotten rid of it lots sooner
* the beautiful trees in my backyard -- miss them a lot, but don't miss worrying about them when the wind blows
* my purple mittens -- will always miss them : (
* gray hair -- at least my highlights camouflage most of it
* misplaced hope -- too complicated to sum up in a pithy comment
* a friendship I treasured -- life goes on and people grow apart . . . get over it

I know that 2012 will bring new losses, but I also know that the new year will bring additions. I hope I can willingly relinquish all that I stubbornly hold onto in order to free up my hands and my heart for the new blessings and challenges that God wants to give me.

One thing that was new in my life in 2011 that I have genuinely enjoyed and look forward to enjoying in 2012 is (ab)normal. This is my 190th blog post! It has been fun, and sometimes not so fun, to share my thoughts and ideas. I am proud that I was able to fulfill my commitment to blog at least three times per week and to write a Thankful Thursday post weekly. It wasn't always easy, but it was worthwhile. I hope to do the same next year.

Good-bye 2011. Hello 2012. I hope it will truly be a happy new year from start to finish.

Alone again, naturally

2011-12-30T22:04:00.000-08:00

Just when I think I've gotten used to being alone, I realize that I really haven't.

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve and it will just be G and I, hanging around the house, doing nothing.

E and N are in Michigan with N's family. N's sister and her husband (A and B) just had a baby boy early this morning. I'm glad that I is here safely and surrounded by grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins that love him and have been eagerly awaiting his arrival.

K is in New York City. She flew out early this morning and spent the day exploring the city until she could meet up with the friend/co-worker who she's staying with for the weekend. I don't think K is going to hang out in Times Square for NYE, but she's a spur of the moment kind of girl, so who knows.

M is staying overnight with friends tonight and then tomorrow everyone is going to Wisconsin for the weekend. One of her friends' family has a cabin near Twin Lakes and the whole family and extended crew are heading north to celebrate the new year.

G went to bed at 8:15 this evening. Usually he manages to stay up until 9:00, but he did get up pretty early to take K to the airport, so I'm sure he's tired. It's not like he would want to hang out with me and watch the "We had a 6-6 record so we deserve to play in the post-season Bowl" on television. Actually I'm watching the Insight Bowl and Iowa is losing to Oklahoma. Even though I don't like Iowa, I was taught that when it comes to bowl games and March Madness, you root for the Big Ten, so I'm hoping Iowa can pull out the win but it's not looking good.

So, I'm alone and I guess I really do need to get used to it because the situation's not going to change. : /

Thankful Thursday

2011-12-29T22:18:00.000-08:00

This is the last Thankful Thursday post for the year. Wow!

Having just spent Christmas with my mom and dad, I have to say that I am extremely thankful for my parents and the times that I've been able to be with them this past year.

It seems as if I was able to get to Decatur more often and stay for longer periods of time this year than any time in the past several years. I suppose some of that is due to not having any children living at home who needed me to drive them places or do their laundry. Whatever the reason or reasons, I am grateful for the opportunities I've had to be with my mom and dad.

Some people are fortunate enough to live in the same town as their parents, maybe even in the same neighborhood! That was never the case with me. Since G and I were married, I have always lived three hours away from Mom and Dad. It could have been a lot worse, especially if G had been transferred to Dallas in the early 80's. But it also could have been a lot nicer to live closer, especially when the kids were little.

I know I've said this before, but I am keenly aware of the passage of time and the reality that my parents won't always be waiting for me to pull in their driveway. The day will come when they won't be able to work all day in the garden and then work another five hours to can the green beans that they picked and snapped. Already they are slowing down (heck, I'm slowing down too!) but they still are a vital part of my life and my family's life.

It is hard to imagine the day when I won't be able to see them or call them, but that day will come. For now, I am grateful for every day I have with them, every phone call, every card, every memory. And I am grateful to God for giving me such wonderful parents!

I love you, Mom and Dad. : )

Just when I thought there was light at the end of the tunnel . . .

2011-12-28T23:22:00.000-08:00

I realized it was really the giant headlight of a 125-car freight train. : /

We are so close to the end of the year. So close to making it to 2012 without another doctor visit, or worse.

So close . . . until today.

M had been complaining about her eye. She's always complaining about something, so we ignored her. This morning we couldn't ignore her any longer.

G took her to the convenient care. And then he took her to the eye clinic. She has a scratched cornea . . . again. The doctor said he couldn't give her anything for her pain because it would cause her eye to become infected. Makes absolutely no sense to me. She does have a teeny tiny, super-expensive bottle of eye drops (combination of steroids and antibiotics) that she has to use twice a day for two days and then once a day for three days. I hope she doesn't run out before the five days are up.

I know I should be glad that this happened while she was home instead of at school (like the first time). And I should also be glad that she was able to be seen by the highly regarded eye clinic. I should be really glad that we have insurance and that this episode is covered under major medical rather than optical, especially since the eye clinic doesn't take our optical insurance.

I should be glad -- like dancing around and toasting with champagne GLAD -- but I'm not. Instead I'm pissed that this is just one more crappy thing in a year full of crappy things. A year full of expensive, crappy things.

But what I need to remember is that there is always light at the end of the tunnel, and that light is called Jesus. He came to bring light and life, even to whiners like me.

Thanks be to God!

Holiday letdown

2011-12-27T21:33:00.000-08:00

The word for today was "blah." Blah weather, blah emotions, blah, blah, blah.

Christmas is over and there is nothing to look forward to for quite some time. I honestly can't think of anything to look forward to at all.

G and I do not have New Year's Eve plans. I would have to think long and hard to remember the last time G and I did have NYE plans. In 1990 we went to dinner at a friend's house; I was pregnant with M. Maybe ten years ago I spent the evening with my friend J at her house and after the Times Square ball drop, I drove home.

It would never occur to G that maybe I would like to do something besides sit around and watch movies where lots of people get blown up and die. It would never occur to him to consider doing something fun.

So for me, a good NYE is one where I have a decent amount of alcohol on hand so that by the time I go to bed, I'm already halfway (or more than halfway) bombed so I don't have much time to lie in bed and cry before I pass out.

I can hardly wait.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-26T22:19:00.000-08:00

And it truly was a Merry Christmas.

We were all able to gather at my parent's home in Decatur -- G and me, E, N, K, and M. Even my brother and his wife came for brunch this morning. It was nice to see them again so soon as we just saw them at Thanksgiving and we normally don't see them at both Thanksgiving and Christmas.

We went to the 5:00 service for Christmas Eve. My aunt and uncle met us there and afterward they came back to my parent's house for dinner. We had our traditional Christmas Eve lasagna. : )

Also at church, we saw my cousin, his wife, and their children. W is the best little boy ever and his sister, S, is getting so big! She is almost 19 months old and a beautiful little girl; she looked especially precious in her dark green velvet dress with white "fur" trim on the long sleeves and all around the hem of her full skirt. We were even able to persuade her to twirl for us. : )

Christmas afternoon we walked down the street and around the corner to visit with Great-Aunt R. Everyone in our family will tell you that she is a pistol, and Christmas Day was no exception. She was by turns, feisty and a little sad. We talked about her husband, Uncle G, and that made her a little teary. But in spite of the memories of loss, I know she was glad that we came to see her. As she always says, "There's them that live right here in town that never come to see me."

Over the course of the weekend we ate way too much food -- blackberry cobbler, sugar cookies, biscuits and gravy, ham, hash brown casserole, cinnamon rolls, bacon, and noodle kugel. We also dranks lots and lots of coffee and more than a little bit of wine on Christmas eve.

I am well aware that these family times are precious and I don't take them for granted. Who knows if we will all be together next year to celebrate Christmas. This time next year E and N might be living in Seattle or Salem, VA or Springfield, MO. Only the Lord knows where we will all be and what we will be doing.

But this year we were blessed to be in Decatur and it was a very, merry Christmas!

Still so much to do

2011-12-23T22:19:00.000-08:00

It's officially Christmas Eve. Blogger post times are based on PST, but here in the Midwest it's 12:01 AM on December 24th, so Christmas Eve is NOW.

I still have much to accomplish before we leave home for the weekend to go to the place I called home for 22 years (and still call home).

I mailed out all of the Christmas cards. The picture turned out pretty good and I've gotten some nice feedback from a few people.

In spite of the humidity I was able to make three batches of toffee to give as gifts to friends. I'll still need to make two more batches after Christmas, but life will be a little bit less hectic then, and hopefully less humid.

As far as gifts go, if I haven't bought it by now, you aren't getting it, at least not for Christmas 2011. G and M were troopers this evening and helped by wrapping a lot of presents. Without their help I would probably end up trying to wrap presents in the back of the Suburban on the ride to Decatur.

M's visit to her gastro doctor and G's colonoscopy are behind us (no pun intended) and thankfully both events were uneventful. M discovered a chip in one of her front teeth so she made a quick trip to the dentist this afternoon. I was glad that she was confident enough to handle that on her own -- both setting up the appointment and seeing the dentist. Yay for steps toward maturity and adulthood!

So, I still have a few presents to tissue and put in gift bags and I better get moving. In the morning I'll need to pack my duffle bag and make myself crazy worrying whether or not I forgot to buy/wrap/pack someone's present.

Merry Christmas!

Thankful Thursday

2011-12-22T23:21:00.000-08:00

G's colonoscopy went well today. The doctor said that everything looked great, not even one polyp.

Lucky G. I wish that M and I had been that fortunate. : /

In spite of my envy, I am very thankful that G's colonoscopy was clear and normal. Now it will be at least ten years (hopefully) before I'll have to take him to have another scope. I'm sure he's willing to wait at least that long as well.

Oh what fun

2011-12-21T23:27:00.000-08:00

When you read that title, don't you just want to finish it off by singing "it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh"? Especially at this time of year, that's what pops into my mind.

But that's not what it's really referencing. No, if you're a Brichacek, this is the Year of the Colonoscopy, and tomorrow it's G's turn to have the kind of "fun" that everyone over the age of 50 just can't wait to have. Not.

Yes, G is scheduled to report to a surgery center in Lombard at 10:00 for his first (and hopefully last) colonoscopy. Oh what fun indeed.

Actually he's already experienced the most FUN of the procedure -- the cleansing prep. Ugh. I would gladly have a colonoscopy once a year if I could do it without having to drink the noxious liquid. Amazingly G didn't seem to think the gallon of ick tasted all that bad. He didn't even complain about the salty viscosity. I think he must have been prescribed something slightly different than the horrible stuff I had to drink. G's biggest complaint was that he felt stuffed and that he was freezing cold from drinking the refrigerated liquid. He actually was able to finish the entire gallon; I could only manage to choke down about 3/4 of the container. : /

Hopefully tomorrow will be an uneventful day. I don't anticipate the doctor finding anything out of the ordinary -- actually I don't anticipate the doctor finding anything. But then I could never have anticipated Meredith's doctor finding a pre-cancerous polyp when she had her colonoscopy six months ago.

Ultimately there isn't anything we can do except trust God because he is sovereign over all aspects of our lives and He will sustain us in every situation and circumstance. I'm glad that God is in control!

It's the most wonderful time of the year

2011-12-20T23:55:00.000-08:00

Erm, today . . . not so much. : /

Why do people seem to clash so much at Christmas (or other holidays)? And when I say "people," I mean M and me.

M is applying for a summer internship in Sydney. The last thing she needs to do to complete her application is answer an essay question about examples of when she has exhibited maturity, responsibility, and good communication skills, as well as cite an example of how she has dealt with frustration. M does not like to write. I am more than happy to read over what she writes and make suggestions or point out grammar and spelling errors, but I will not write something for her, especially not something that is supposed to be a personal description of situations in her life.

Thankfully, M didn't ask me to write her essay, but she was very put out with me that I wasn't willing to be more involved with the idea-gathering process. I made a few suggestions (that she rejected) and then she seemed put out when I went back to working on addressing Christmas cards.

Apparently M decided to write about apartment living. She mentioned something about how important communication was now that she was living with three people instead of just one roommate (like her past two years in the dorms).

I should have kept my mouth shut, but I didn't. Instead I said, "Except you don't have good communication." I was remembering all of the conversations M and I have had about how she feels her apartment-mates take advantage of the fact that she likes to cook and bake and can't stand a dirty kitchen or an overflowing garbage can. M has complained over and over about feeling left out and used by these three girls who are supposedly her friends. When I suggest that she talk with them about what's happening, she refuses. And when I'm critical of these girls who exclude her and make her cry, she defends them and gets angry with me for saying anything against them.

I don't know what to do and I wish that this issue didn't come up less than a week before Christmas. : /

So much to do . . .

2011-12-19T22:08:00.000-08:00

and so little time left in which to do it all.

Christmas is less than a week away. I need to have all the presents bought and wrapped by Friday.

I still have to send Christmas cards, but G doesn't have the photo ready yet. : /

On a non-holiday note, I have to take M to the gastroenterologist on Wednesday and I also have to spend a good chunk of Thursday with G when he has a colonoscopy. Why does all of this have to happen a few days before Christmas?

And if all of the above isn't enough, somewhere in the midst of this ~~craziness~~ busyness, I need to find time to make toffee and cookies to give as gifts to a few select friends.

I really don't think I'm going to be able to get it all done, especially the toffee. Humidity and rain are the morbid enemies of toffee and it's supposed to rain tomorrow. Ideal toffee weather is cold and dry. Whoever thought I would be unhappy because it's not cold enough?

Honored

2011-12-17T23:54:00.000-08:00

M and I drove home from West Lafayette yesterday. On the way, we decided to stop at Albanese's Candy Factory in Hobart. I had seen their signs on I-65 for several years, but it never seemed like a good time to stop to see the home of the "world's best gummi bears." Yesterday the stars aligned and we agreed we needed to check this place out.

As M drove east on Route 30, my cell phone rang. I was surprised to hear my son-in-law's voice on the phone. N was in Salem, Virginia to interview for an internship.

Thankful Thursday

2011-12-15T06:15:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it's better to be thankful for the little things in life, rather than focusing on the really big, monumental things.

The little things are all around me every day.

I just need to look for them.

And take the time to stop and truly be thankful for them.

I suppose that's what's called taking time to stop and smell the roses . . . or the strawberries. Pulling over to the side of the road to watch the sunset. Listening patiently to the rambling story of a child (when so much needs to be done in too short of a time) yet being grateful that she graced you with the telling of her tale.

I'm thankful for the little things that bring beauty and joy and laughter to my life.

To the person who found my purple mittens

2011-12-14T20:47:00.000-08:00

and kept them:

I hope you love them as much as I did.

I loved those mittens so much that I bought a second pair when the first pair started to look ratty from too many winters of snow shoveling.

I loved the just right shade of purple and the softness of the polar fleece. I especially loved the darker purple suede on the palm and the thumb that allowed me to keep a firm grip on the steering wheel.

But most of all I loved how warm and toasty my hands and fingers were inside my beloved purple mittens. On the very coldest days I would slip on a thin pair of gloves and then pull on my mittens -- that was all it took to keep my hands warm in frigid conditions. My purple mittens could handle whatever Old ManWinter could dish out.

I feel lost without my mittens. It sounds stupid, but there's an empty feeling inside me that's almost like the feeling I've experienced when someone I love has died. Yes, this loss has really hit me hard.

I have other mittens and gloves that I can wear, but none of them are as warm or bring me as much joy as the beautiful purple mittens that have been my favorites for over ten years.

I hope my mittens have found a home with someone who will wear them and love them as much as I did, but I really wish that their forever home was with me.

A matter of perspective

2011-12-10T23:52:00.000-08:00

There was a lunar eclipse last night. I heard about it on the news -- it was supposed to be spectacular and it was supposed to be visible close to dawn.

I didn't have any intention of staying up for the eclipse, let alone going outside in the freezing cold to watch it, but when 4:00 rolled around and I was still up, I figured "what the heck."

I bundled up in my coat and mittens, but I didn't want to bother with socks and shoes, so I put on my soccer slides. Even though there was still a little bit of snow on the sidewalk, I didn't think it would bother me since my jeans are fairly long.

The sky was totally clear and the stars were incredibly bright in spite of the streetlights and porch lights in the neighborhood. The moon was huge and full, a beautiful silvery-white against the velvety navy of the sky. Even though it was around 7 degrees, I felt reasonably warm.

I stared at the moon for awhile. Unfortunately I didn't see any sign of a change that could be attributed to an eclipse. When I began to grow cold, I decided that it would be a good idea to go inside and go to bed. Eclipses are much more fun in warmer weather.

Yet as I lingered for a little while longer, I thought about how I had initially been warm when I first gazed up at the sky but soon the cold penetrated my warm coat and mittens. What about people who don't have warm winter clothing? What about men and women, and sometimes even children, who aren't able to return to a house with a working furnace? G and I keep our furnace set fairly low for economical reasons, but our house is still relatively warm. Some homeless people take shelter in their car each night or sneak into abandoned buildings. Others hide behind garbage dumpsters to escape the worst of the wind and snow.

Do those people ever look up at the moon and marvel at the beauty that God placed in the sky? Or are they too focused on trying to keep warm -- struggling to survive -- to be able to afford the luxury of gazing at the moon and the stars that illuminate the heavens?

For me, the early morning interlude in the frigid air was invigorating as I enjoyed God's handiwork of moon glow and starlight. Yet I suspect my perspective on the scene would have been different if I wasn't fortunate enough to be able to scurry back to the comfort of a heated home and an electric blanket.

This morning I read in the Tribune that the eclipse was outstanding on the west coast and in parts of Asia. The moon turned from light orange to bright red as the eclipse coincided with sunrise. The pictures I've seen are impressive, but I'm sure they can't begin to compare to the experience of seeing it unfold in person.

My eclipse experience was quite likely different from that of a Chicago observer who spends their life on the street night after night, no matter the weather or season. And my experience was also very different from someone thousands of miles away from me who watched the brilliantly silver moon grow both shadowy and colorful as the earth passed between it and the sun.

This eclipse, like so much of life, was a matter of perspective.

Addiction -- like I needed another one

2011-12-09T22:57:00.000-08:00

Just in time for Christmas . . . when I should be shopping, wrapping, baking, cleaning, addressing, mailing, preparing, worshiping, sleeping . . . I have a new addiction.

Crush the Castle.

So much fun. I have conquered all the levels, ie. crushed all of the castles, but I keep playing it anyway.

I need to stop.

Thankful Thursday -- and boy am I thankful!

2011-12-08T23:43:00.000-08:00

It's Thursday and I finally feel like I have my life back. Since Thanksgiving I've been under the gun to get a lot of writing done and it hasn't been easy. There have been way too many late nights, and not the fun kind of late nights that I'm used to. But today, at 10:15 a.m. (after writing through the night -- ugh!) I finished my last assignment of 2011!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!! Yes, I am excited. Very, very excited. : ))

And very, very tired.

I want a cookie!

2011-12-04T22:43:00.000-08:00

Almost every Sunday evening, E and I talk on the phone. It's fun for me to hear what she did over the weekend and catch up on all that happened during the past week.

Tonight I wanted to hear about a cookie exchange that E had gone to on Saturday afternoon with some of her friends from church. The last time I talked to E, she was busily baking the molasses cookies that she planned to take to the exchange.

These particular cookies are definitely delicious. I made them as a gift for a friend and her brother to nibble on during a long car trip and I think they liked them. If I didn't have self-control issues, I would make some this week for G and I to have in the evening with hot tea.

But back to my conversation with E. I asked her what the best cookie was that she ate at the exchange, and she answered without hesitation, "Mine!"

I love her response! She laughed when she said it, but I think she was dead serious. I raised her to tell the truth, so I have to trust that she honestly meant that her cookies were the tastiest. I also love that E is so confident in her baking skills -- of course her cookies were the best!

I wish I had one (or two or twelve) of those cookies right now. : )

You just never know

2011-12-02T20:55:00.000-08:00

I never thought this would happen.

I was watching Say Yes to the Dress tonight, and one of the brides that was featured on the show is someone I know! Actually the bride is a young woman my oldest daughter has known since grade school. Freshman year in high school they played on the tennis team together, and the summer before junior year they traveled in Europe with a group lead by some of the foreign language teachers.

And now that I think of it, I was K's Girl Scout leader for a few years! It's much more fun to say that I was a Girl Scout leader to a present-day celebrity than have to admit that I was also a Girl Scout leader for not one, but two girls who became unwed mothers while they were still in high school.

It was fun to watch K on the show. She chose a gorgeous dress and I'm sure she will be a beautiful bride. Best wishes K! Here's wishing you and your fiance a lifetime of happiness!

Thankful Thursday

2011-12-01T22:45:00.000-08:00

Yesterday evening my small group finished our study of Philippians. One of the key themes of the epistle is joy. Paul continually exhorts the church in Philippi to rejoice -- to rejoice in the Lord and to rejoice in all circumstances.

I feel like Paul's message is directed to me, except I'm substituting the word thanks where Paul used joy/rejoice.

A few things have happened lately that have left me feeling less than thankful. But I know that my choice to give thanks cannot be dependent on circumstances. In good times or bad, in need or in plenty, God calls me to be thankful. He doesn't say it's good to be thankful when life is going smoothly, but it's okay to be crabby and dissatisfied when life is a mess.

Scripture says, "Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; for His steadfast love endures forever!" 1 Chronicles 16:34

I can give thanks at all times, not because my life is great, but because the LORD is good and His unchanging love for me is never-ending. That reality is definitely worthy of my thanksgiving!

Good-bye November

2011-11-30T22:39:00.000-08:00

Last day of the month. Last day of November.

I'm not ready to say good-bye to fall -- to brilliant autumn leaves, blue skies and sunshine, mild days and crisp nights, bonfires, pumpkins, turkey, brussel sprouts, cranberries . . . .

November had its up and downs. We ended the month with two health crises. But the good memories from Thanksgiving still linger.

It was a good month. Good-bye November.

It's always something

2011-11-29T23:25:00.000-08:00

One minute everything is going well. The next minute it's all gone to h*ll.

Why does that happen?

Last night we got a call that G's stepfather was on his way to the hospital. He was in extreme pain and was also experiencing intestinal distress. G met his mom and C at the emergency room and stayed with them until almost 1:00 a.m. When G finally came home, C was still waiting to move from the ER to a room on the 4th floor.

Tonight we visited C and he is much improved. His doctor thinks he knows what the problem is and how best to treat it. G's mother is much less worried than she was last night (when she was convinced she was going to be widowed for the second time). It has been an intense twenty-four hours for C, but it seems like he is going to be okay.

It's also been an intense twenty-four hours for our youngest daughter, M. This morning she called her father and said that she was sick and had been sick since yesterday evening. She was also experiencing intestinal distress and was very worried that she might be heading toward the same problems that had landed her in the hospital this summer.

Around noon M called me and said that she felt achy all over. She felt like she was going to throw up but she also still had the same lower intestinal issues. Needless to say, she hadn't been able to venture far enough away from the bathroom to even consider going to her morning OT observation or either of her power hour classes.

When you're in college, there's never a good time to be sick and miss class, but two weeks before finals is definitely one of the worst times times to be sick. Tomorrow is an especially crucial day for M to feel well and be at her best since she has an early final (no idea why it's not during finals week) and two labs.

I hate it that my child is in so much pain and there isn't anything I can do to make her feel better. I'm a little angry (at God?) that M is sick again. It breaks my heart to hear the fear in her voice and know that she wonders if she will always be dealing with this problem.

I know there are other families who are dealing with much more serious issues with their children, and I wouldn't want to have to bear the burden they do. But M is my child, and when she hurts, I hurt.

I hope that tomorrow is a much better day for M.

Thankful Thursday . . . and Friday and Saturday and Sunday

2011-11-27T20:52:00.000-08:00

Sing with me! "Over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house we go."

Well, I didn't go through any woods, but I did go over five rivers -- the Des Plaines, Kankakee, Mazon, Mackinaw, and Money -- on the way to Grandmother's (known to me as Mom and to my kids as Mimi) house. And Grandpa lives there too. : )

A Baskin-Robbins day

2011-11-22T22:41:00.000-08:00

Today was a Baskin-Robbins day, but it didn't involve ice cream or any other treat from the famous 31 Flavors store.

Instead G and I had vegetable samosas, vegetable pad Thai, spicy shrimp bao, and Chinese BBQ pork buns for dinner. Well, G didn't have any of the pork buns, but I did, and they were delicious -- just like the ones we have in San Francisco at Yank Sing. For dessert we had vanilla bean cupcakes.

In case you're wondering -- do they always eat like this? -- the answer is NO. But today was a special day, a Baskin-Robbins day, because today was our 31st wedding anniversary.

Baskin-Robbins -- 31 Flavors -- 31 years of marriage. Get it?

November 22, 1980 to November 22, 2011. That is definitely something to celebrate!

Caught off guard

2011-11-21T22:32:00.000-08:00

I went to the laundromat today. It was a long overdue trip.

After I got the washers going, I walked next door to the dollar store. I intended to buy a Coke, but I wandered over to the greeting cards instead. I picked out five Thanksgiving cards, then grabbed a Coke from the very back of the cooler (I always want to have the super-coldest bottle possible) and headed to the checkout.

The guy who was working the register greeted me and started to scan my cards. I was fishing in my handbag to find my coin purse, not paying attention to anything around me, so it really caught me off guard when the cashier said, "I really like people like you."

What? People like me -- would that be middle-aged, overweight women with menopause-induced acne? Surely not.

The guy must have noticed the puzzled look on my face because he held up one of my greeting cards and waved it toward me. Still puzzled, I thought maybe he was referring to the humorous card that I purchased. So . . . he likes people who get a laugh out of Thanksgiving?

"It makes it so much easier to ring up the cards when they're turned the right way," he said with a smile.

Ohhh, now I get it. He was commenting on my habit of flipping the front of the card upside down so the UPC code is facing up, unobstructed by the flap of the envelope.

People like me . . . we rock. : )

A confession

2011-11-20T23:55:00.000-08:00

Everyone's entitled to their opinion . . . until they share it, and then it's fair game for ridicule and derision.

I have a definite opinion on a current situation and I'm willing to bet that I'm probably the only person in American who feels the way I do. In fact if my feelings on the subject were known, many, many people would undoubtedly accuse me of being hateful and downright unpatriotic.

Wow. What opinion could I hold that would draw such strong animosity?

I confess that I am sick and tired of hearing about (being bombarded with, really) every detail of Rep. Gabrielle Gifford's life. Gabby, as her husband, family, friends, and every news anchor/talk show host in America calls her, has been all over the news lately. It seems like she is getting almost as much press now as she was 10 months ago when she was gravely wounded by a crazed gunman at a meet and greet with her constituents in Tucson, AZ.

Last night when I was at Barnes & Noble, I realized why there has been such a resurgence in all things Gabby -- she and her astronaut husband, Mark Kelly, have written a book, Gabby: A Story of Courage and Hope. I find it fascinating and exquisitely timed that Giffords chose to grant her first post-shooting interview (with ABC's Diane Sawyer) to coincide with the release of her book. Surely that wasn't planned? Nah, couldn't have been.

Now before you think that I am a truly heartless jerk, I fully admire the determination that Rep. Giffords has shown as she has struggled to regain the ability to walk, talk, and reclaim the daily functions and freedoms of life that I so blithely take for granted. Her recovery has been nothing short of miraculous, especially since she was very close to death.

What I bristle at is the "it's all about Gabby" attitude that oozes at every turn. If for some reason you had lived your life in isolation for the past year, and suddenly you emerged to be confronted by the Gabby feeding frenzy, you might conclude, wrongly so, that Giffords was the only one who was shot that morning in January 2011. Even at the time of the shooting, the other victims -- 6 people were killed and 12 (not counting Giffords) were wounded -- received little press.

Two shooting victims who did receive a bit more than a passing mention were a chief federal judge and a 9-year old girl who was the granddaughter of a former MLB player and manager. Obviously the child's death, because of her age, was incredibly tragic and grabbed the attention and heartstrings of the public. The fact that she was related to a sport celebrity also heightened the curiosity factor. Predictably the media made the most of her story. As a public servant, the judge also garnered a decent amount of press. But the remaining victims, whether wounded or dead, were largely ignored.

Today if you were to ask someone if they remembered anything about a victim other than Giffords, few would be able to come up with a name or other details. It's as if Gabrielle Giffords was the only one who was shot, the only one worth remembering.

It's all about Gabby.

It doesn't seem right to me that everyone else has been pushed aside. Don't their stories matter? Couldn't the nation also be inspired by their accounts of triumph over tragedy or encouraged by their determination to regain health and wholeness?

Why does our society value celebrity so much -- to the point that the struggles and afflictions of the common man fail to move us to the same degree (or at all) that we feel when the same misfortune happens to someone famous? WT* is wrong with us?

I truly am glad that Rep. Giffords is making a strong recovery. She still has a long way to go, but she is surrounded by an incredible support team and, as a member of Congress, she has access to the very best medical care that taxpayer money can buy. Hopefully her story will inspire someone else who is struggling to recover from a traumatic injury.

But there are lots and lots of stories out there. Stories from school teachers and cabdrivers, artists, farmers, and accountants. Stories worth hearing from people who aren't usually accorded the power, position, and privilege that's reserved for politicians and celebrities.

I've heard enough about, and from, Gabby. It's time for someone else to have a turn to tell their story.

Thankful Thursday

2011-11-17T23:52:00.000-08:00

Over a month ago, a distant family member was bitten (unknowingly) by a brown recluse spider. Unfortunately he didn't realize the bite was serious, so he didn't see a doctor until a few days later when he was in excruciating pain and his arm was swollen to more than twice its normal size. Waiting three days to seek medical attention almost killed him.

Just this week, more than four weeks later, D is finally moving from ICU to a critical care room where he will be able to get intensive physical therapy. He has lost forty pounds in addition to muscle mass and function. D's triumphs for this week include actually taking a small assisted walk and eating half of a hamburger! For someone who has been fed almost exclusively by a feeding tube, suffered unrelenting pain, and only dreamed of being able to walk again, it is a miracle that he has achieved these milestones.

Some people, genuine Christians, believe that miracles are a thing of the past. They feel that miracles -- the signs and wonders described in the Bible -- were used by God and Jesus to bring people to faith. While these believers do not dispute that there are many occurrences today that are unexplainable and definitely of God, they stop short of calling them miracles. Instead they describe them as evidence of the providence of God.* I'm not 100% sure, but I think their reasoning is that in our present time, faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ. Romans 10:17 We are privileged to have the Bible, God's words to us, a witness more powerful than any sign or miracle.

For me the debate is of a semantic nature. Whether one calls it a miracle or providence, I think we all can agree that it comes from God. The steps that D has been able to take, literally and figuratively, can only be attributed to God's healing hand.

I am thankful that God has blessed D with renewed hope and a sense of His presence. There are many people who are praying for D and God has definitely heard those earnest petitions. Both D and his wife are sustained by the prayers of so many on their behalf, as well as the minute to minute providence of God as he guides D toward healing and wholeness.

It is almost certain that D will never be the same person that he was before he was bitten. Among other things, he may never regain full use of his arm and he will likely need to be on insulin for the rest of life. But in spite of the losses he has suffered, he has also been blessed in ways he could never have imagined. Through this trial D has gained a greater dependency on, intimacy with, and sense of reverence for his awesome God. By grace, the Lord has made Himself known to D in ways that would not have been possible if he were still going about his active, pre-incident life. In this time of affliction, D and his wife have been given the blessing to "be still, and know that I am God." Psalms 46:10

D's experience is a testimony that out of adversity, the Lord brings blessing. Thanks be to God!

*A few years ago I was in a small group where two women almost came to blows over their differing opinions regarding miracles. By the grace of God, one of the women chose to focus on what she had in common with her sister -- their unity in Christ -- rather than dwelling on the issue on which they differed. I have great admiration for this women, because her older sister in Christ was definitely not backing down on her opinion. The younger woman's gracious attitude allowed our group to continue to focus on our study of God's Word, avoiding the evil one's attempt to sow dissension and division among the saints.

Wednesday Wisdom -- a good reminder

2011-11-16T23:49:00.000-08:00

After Bible study this evening I stopped at Target and Meijer to pick up a few items that I wasn't able to get at Valli's and Jewel. As usual, I bought too much.

When I left Meijer, I noticed the moon. It was beautiful -- bright white and a little more than half full. I caught a few more glimpses of it as I drove home. Safely in my driveway, I got out of the car and glanced up again at the sky. This time I couldn't see the moon, but what I could see very clearly were hundreds of brightly shining stars.

In spite of the lights from the streets and houses in the neighborhood, the stars stood out distinctly, glittering like brilliant diamonds on a vast expanse of darkest navy velvet. I was tired and cold, and even though the warmth of my house beckoned, I stood transfixed, head tilted back, gazing at the beauty strewn across the heavens.

Whenever I look at the stars, I can't help but think of a verse from the first chapter of James:

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

What a beautiful word picture! James describes God the Father, the Creator of the Universe and all that inhabits it, as "the Father of the heavenly lights." And so He is, for on the fourth day He brought them into being and set them in place.

¹⁴ And God said, “Let there be lights in the expanse of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark seasons and days and years, ¹⁵ and let them be lights in the expanse of the sky to give light on the earth.” And it was so. ¹⁶ God made two great lights—the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars. ¹⁷ God set them in the expanse of the sky to give light on the earth, ¹⁸ to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that it was good. Genesis 1:14-18

The breathtaking stars that I was in awe of this evening are the very same stars that the Lord God placed in the heavens to light the night sky long ago on the fourth day of Creation. And moreover, each one of these stars is visible proof of God's good and perfect gifts to the world.

All of creation testifies to the reality of God's goodness and perfection. His good, perfectly chosen gifts for man are on display everywhere we look -- and even when we don't look, even when we aren't able to see God's good provision for us, it is always present. God's goodness toward us never fades or disappears.

James also tells us that the Father does not change like shifting shadows. We can completely trust God because He is constant and unchanging and there is no darkness in Him. Likewise, we can know beyond any doubt that the gifts he gives are always good and perfect because He Himself is good and perfect and accordingly, his gifts to us will flawlessly reflect his character.

I pray that I will never take God's good and perfect gifts for granted or turn aside from them to seek the counterfeit "gifts" of the world that masquerade as good but lead instead to sin and death. As I look at the night sky may I always be reminded of my good and perfect Father, the Father of the heavenly lights, who has given the most perfect gift of all to those who choose to receive it -- the gift of salvation through Christ Jesus.

Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift! 2 Corinthians 9:15

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